Depressed

Any chance you could get the family involved with the tank? Say if kid helps with X they can pick out a Fish coral to add to the tank?
 
Ocean liverock, no dosing, softies and LPS, good skimmer, and occasional water changes. Doesn't get any easier than that! Reef keeping is EASY if you follow that recipe.
 
125G with 10G ATO, 3 FX6's (live rock rubble) Ice Cap K3-250 skimmer, autofeeder. 10 min's maintenance on Sunday's a week (dump skimmer overflow from cup), re-fill ATO as needed. I can (and have) been away for 3 weeks....
Stress free tank.
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EDIT: No WC in 1 year.....
 
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You could skip most parameter testing as long as you did top-off and once per month water changes and kept some tough LPS, mushrooms, zoas, and other softies. What survives you keep, if something struggles you could give it away.
 
This is one reason I only have a 24 gallon tank. I mix enough SW for a month and it takes me 10 minutes to do a water change once a week. Power heads and return go in feed mode 2x a day and it takes 30 seconds to feed my little nano fish. I only test water following the WC after everyone else is in bed.

There is no way I’d have time for a large tank without fully automating everything.

You have to do what works best for your current situation. Whether it’s pay for maintenance or stop the hobby for a while or something in between. I wish you the best of luck with your decision.
 
2-3 small water changes in 10 years
To remove a treatment or to replace water removed from acclimation of fish
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Yes I want to try to get my kids more involved, they are just really young. 1 year + 3 year old.

I have a DOS, need to setup a better water change schedule for sure.
 
Good lord, you are a magician. That tank looks spectacular with little to no water changes.
I don’t use a skimmer and I don’t use filter socks, fleece rollers or any mechanical filtration. I don’t have anything automated and I don’t even use an ato on this tank
 
I wouldn't give it up - but definitely consider going smaller and simplifying where you can.

We are humans, not machines. Family and your mental and physical health are the most important thing, but keeping up with your interests is part of sustaining you intellectually and emotionally.

I think it's entirely reasonable to feel depressed from time to time if you are contemplating giving up something you love because of the pressures of working 60-80 hours a week.
 
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If you need things easier then cut out acro and stony. You need things simpler and less time consuming, and more resilient to parameter swings.
 
If you need things easier then cut out acro and stony. You need things simpler and less time consuming, and more resilient to parameter swings.

Truth be told, most of my source of frustration is being able to keep my acanthophyllia alive. I have had 3 die off in the last year. Struggling to keep my last two hanging on. Honestly my tank is mostly comprised of anemone, torches, goni, zoa, mushrooms, leathers, and my favorite - Acanthophyllia...until 3 died off.

But my filtration is crazy compared to yours, with the reefmat, oversized skimmer, UV sterilizer.

I've never had any desire to keep Acros. I like soft / LPS corals.
 
Hmmmm.

I spend 10mins a day with maintaining my tank...and 30mins on a Saturday. your life can't be that busy.

I think you're burned out
 
Truth be told, most of my source of frustration is being able to keep my acanthophyllia alive. I have had 3 die off in the last year. Struggling to keep my last two hanging on. Honestly my tank is mostly comprised of anemone, torches, goni, zoa, mushrooms, leathers, and my favorite - Acanthophyllia...until 3 died off.

But my filtration is crazy compared to yours, with the reefmat, oversized skimmer, UV sterilizer.

I've never had any desire to keep Acros. I like soft / LPS corals.
Maybe you are filtering out all the natural sources of food for corals that they would pull from the water column. Fish excretion is coral food. Leftover frozen food is coral food.

I have 3 acantho in my tank that are poofy and healthy. And I’m not showing off. I’m just staying they can thrive under my methods and what you are doing may be unnecessary

8” 24k Gold Acantho
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5” green/blue
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5-6” Red/blue
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Thanks everyone for the great suggestions. The FOWLR idea / maintenance company are interesting ideas. I think those would possibly be best.

I have a good amount of disposable income, it's all about time right now.

Family always comes first for me; my job is hard, stressful, and makes me so mad a lot of the time but my wife and kids are my release. I’ll always give them my time and energy, that’s why I will only do my tank maintenance after the kids are in bed.

The times spent with my 4- and 2- yr old are worth more to me than any amount I could spend on a fish tank.

Like my yard, I enjoyed doing that work but spending $35 to have a neighbor kid do the upkeep allows me that precious weekend time. That’s money well spent. I would much rather spend $100-200 (I have no idea on actual costs) on hiring a company to do my fish tank maintenance if it meant I got all those hours back with my kids.

I think you are wise to express your concerns in this forum and gather the input from the many who have sat in your shoes before, currently, or looking at their future.
 
I have a 37G FOWLR that is my first tank and I specifically haven't tried any corals because I didn't want to worry about them, having 3 toddlers myself and little free time. It is just over a year old now. The fish are colorful with personality and the family enjoys watching them (but they don't help out!). I spend about an hour once a week on the weekend to do a 5 gal water change, clean the glass, and clean the powerhead and tiny skimmer. It's not bad. Just a point of reference.
 

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Its a struggle we all feel man! Dont feel bad putting priorities first but these small pleasure are also important. Just fine tune the tank to your life, not your life to your tank. Keep the tank simple, so your maintenance is simple.
If you go freshwater look into neocaridina shrimp. They dont even like waterchanges and just eat algae, super low maintenance.
 

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