Ok so it has been close to a year since I updated this.
I took everyone's suggestions to heart and didn't go into any idea thinking "I already tried this" or "I know better" and I am happy to say that I have SOLVED this. Honestly I am shocked. I was getting very down about this and actually close to the point of giving up. There were many times when I considered just breaking the whole system down and getting out of the hobby because of this tank.
So what was the solution/issue?
It was WAY dumber than you think. Turns out that the chest freezer I use for my frozen food was not keeping it frozen enough. So I have a large chest freezer and I keep all the food at the bottom in flat packs until I am ready to cut it up and feed it out. I make my own food and store it in large gallon freezer bags. I cut the whole bag up at once into daily feedings and keep them in a tupperware box in a basket at the top of the freezer. Everything stays frozen to the touch and it looks fine but APPARENTLY being at the top of the freezer is not quite cold enough. I figured this out because one day I was going to feed the tank and grab a cube of food and noticed a smell. I have noticed the smell before but fish food always smells kind of gross so I never payed too much attention. For some reason it hit me a little different that day and I got suspicious. I took the remaining food and tossed it out and cut up a new pack and stored them at the bottom of the freezer with everything else and went about my day.
The change in the tank was almost immediate. Within a week I noticed corals (what was left) coloring up and even things that I had taken for dead started to come back. There is a cyphastrea that has been straight up DEAD... like just a skeleton on a rock... for probably a year now and out of no where there are polyps. Corals are wild sometimes. I was so surprised that I started going through everything I did recently trying to figure out what I changed to fix everything. The moving of the food about 12inches deeper into the freezer didnt even cross my mind at first and then when I did remember I thought ... no way, that CANT be it. There is NO WAY some slightly funky food could do this.
but here we are...
So here we are about 4 months or so into the tank having a complete 180. Feels good to get back to my hobby and enjoying it. Thanks to everyone in this thread that contributed anything. I really do appreciate how much input I got on this.
Here are a few pics I took the other day of corals thriving in the tank now. A lot of these are new additions but many of them are corals that went through hell and back.
Thanks everyone!