Dealing with Loss.

andiesreef · Aug 14, 2021

Hello everyone.

This isn't directly about saltwater fish but is definitely related. My betta fish died this morning. He had a wound on him for 3 days and he seemed ok until yesterday. I had been feeding him and keeping the water clean for him in hopes that he could heal, but yesterday he started becoming lethargic and I knew it might be the end. So when I scooped his body out of the tank this morning it came as no surprise.

He lived only 2 years and I feel like I could have done something. He was healthy and happy in his setup until he hurt himself. He loved earthworms and chilling in the plants. He died on my watch and I feel bad about it. I buried him outside and laid flowers on his grave. I'm sorry little buddy.

How do you guys cope with loss? I feel so guilty and like he didn't live his life to his full potential.

Quietman · Aug 14, 2021

Feel for you. I lost my favorite Yellow Watchmen Goby/Tiger Pistol Shrimp during a dino outbreak earlier this year. And my planted just lost a gorgeous Apistogramma pair just last month not sure why as everything else is fine and healthy. My tanks seem much emptier without them.

Just have to realize it's part of the hobby. We're keeping glass boxes of water in our living rooms and doing our best to create a healthy environment for the inhabitants. Concentrate on the fish that survive and live long healthy lives in your tanks, learn from mistakes and always try to do better of course, but sometimes fish are going to injure themselves or some disease/toxic condition will slip past everything we try to do to prevent it.

Just getting them to your tank and out of the capture, breeding, storage, shipping, store cycle has to be a plus for them.

Plus remember that life is short and brutal in the wild for most of our fish.

andiesreef · Aug 14, 2021

Quietman said:
Feel for you. I lost my favorite Yellow Watchmen Goby/Tiger Pistol Shrimp during a dino outbreak earlier this year. And my planted just lost a gorgeous Apistogramma pair just last month not sure why as everything else is fine and healthy. My tanks seem much emptier without them.

Just have to realize it's part of the hobby. We're keeping glass boxes of water in our living rooms and doing our best to create a healthy environment for the inhabitants. Concentrate on the fish that survive and live long healthy lives in your tanks, learn from mistakes and always try to do better of course, but sometimes fish are going to injure themselves or some disease/toxic condition will slip past everything we try to do to prevent it.

Just getting them to your tank and out of the capture, breeding, storage, shipping, store cycle has to be a plus for them.

Plus remember that life is short and brutal in the wild for most of our fish.

Thank you for your kind words. I feel a lot better now. Sorry about your goby and apistos. Both beautiful fish, especially gobys, love the personality in those guys. My YWG is such a character.

pbrown · Sep 10, 2021

andiesreef said:
Hello everyone.

This isn't directly about saltwater fish but is definitely related. My betta fish died this morning. He had a wound on him for 3 days and he seemed ok until yesterday. I had been feeding him and keeping the water clean for him in hopes that he could heal, but yesterday he started becoming lethargic and I knew it might be the end. So when I scooped his body out of the tank this morning it came as no surprise.

He lived only 2 years and I feel like I could have done something. He was healthy and happy in his setup until he hurt himself. He loved earthworms and chilling in the plants. He died on my watch and I feel bad about it. I buried him outside and laid flowers on his grave. I'm sorry little buddy.

How do you guys cope with loss? I feel so guilty and like he didn't live his life to his full potential.

I think I am about to lose my 3 year old firefish. So bummed. 3 days ago he was healthy and eating. Today he has a bulging internal mass in his belly? Losing any animal is hard. Sorry for your loss.
Bettas are beautiful. We always have one on our kitchen counter. Started in the kids room but found they get fed better in the kitchen
Most of our bettas have lived long long lives but a few have only made it two years. All were treated the same. Don’t be hard on yourself. we all do the best we can.
Again- sorry for your loss.

Renescence · Sep 10, 2021

Hi friend, hugs for you!

I know how you feel. I import the most beautiful betta fish from Thailand and Indonesia. I’ve gotten pretty attached to a lot of them and have even cried when a few died. So I totally get it.

I think you’re little grave idea is a nice send off to your fish. I don’t think anything was your fault. I’ve had enough bettas to know that those guys are so unpredictable sometimes they hurt themselves and you can’t do anything about it. One of my most favorite ones jumped out of the tank and I found him and hour later on the ground. Miraculously he was still alive, dried and half dead, but alive. He lived for about 4 more months, but his fins were never the same. I cried when he died.

anyways, sorry this isn’t about me. Just know it’s not your fault and I’m sure you were a great fish parent. It’s obvious you cared a lot.

Isopod80 · Sep 10, 2021

andiesreef said:
Hello everyone.

This isn't directly about saltwater fish but is definitely related. My betta fish died this morning. He had a wound on him for 3 days and he seemed ok until yesterday. I had been feeding him and keeping the water clean for him in hopes that he could heal, but yesterday he started becoming lethargic and I knew it might be the end. So when I scooped his body out of the tank this morning it came as no surprise.

He lived only 2 years and I feel like I could have done something. He was healthy and happy in his setup until he hurt himself. He loved earthworms and chilling in the plants. He died on my watch and I feel bad about it. I buried him outside and laid flowers on his grave. I'm sorry little buddy.

How do you guys cope with loss? I feel so guilty and like he didn't live his life to his full potential.

I'm sorry to hear about your fish. I'm sure you did what you could. In my experience bettas do best with some leaf tannins in their water. Indian almond leaves work well for this. You can buy the dried leaves online. It helps boost their immune system and has both antifungal and antibacterial properties. I use them in the tadpole water for my dart frogs as well.