Fear of judgement?

[i cant think]

No but that is because I played video games and people are absolutely ruthless in online gaming so anything here is hardly offensive anymore.. so desensitized.

That’s honestly true, I play a few video games still and people are completely different to on here it’s surprising.

 

[A_Blind_Reefer]

The secret is to wear special glasses to filter out the noise…

 

[Rmckoy]

That’s honestly true, I play a few video games still and people are completely different to on here it’s surprising.

I find here it’s a little different comparing to video games .

 

[i cant think]

I find here it’s a little different comparing to video games .

It took me the whole time to name the entirety of Paracheilinus and also the majority of Cirrhilabrus with about 5-10 others in the other genera (the ones with the same species name but different genera).

 

[Eyllis]

Does anyone else get scared to ask certain questions about problems they are facing because of the fear of judgement?

All the time. Whenever that feeling hits me though I remind myself that: 1. This community is friendly and 2. It's better to ask and sound dumb then remain silent and let the animals in my tank potentially suffer

 

[blaxsun]

All the time. Whenever that feeling hits me though I remind myself that: 1. This community is friendly and 2. It's better to ask and sound dumb then remain silent and let the animals in my tank potentially suffer

Didn't I say that?

 

[threebuoys]

Based on the number of posts you have made, I don't think you have an issue with fear of judgement! However, I'm sure many new visitors to this forum have that concern. Often, when a new member signs up they will volunteer they have luirked on the site for some time before joining.

I decided to become a partner member because I was impressed with the consistently helpful responses I saw to questions I asked as well as questions others ask.
Yes, from time to time a poster will troll a bit, will be unnecessarily critical. You may identify a few responders that are irritating. But, I assure anyone that asks, the positive support you will receive will far exceed the negative. And when you do get rude, negative feedback instead of help, just ignore the poster and move on.

 

[LaloJ]

Does anyone else get scared to ask certain questions about problems they are facing because of the fear of judgement?

Personally I like to do a search for a particular question, when I find clues but not an answer then I can post a topic with the question I have, although sometimes I think about not doing it very often so as not to get annoying (just my opinion), and I can tell that whenever I'm looking for something in particular I end up finding two or three interesting threads that I leave to read later, so I have my phone and laptop with a ton of tabs lol.

 

[EeyoreIsMySpiritAnimal]

Does anyone else get scared to ask certain questions about problems they are facing because of the fear of judgement?

Nope.

 

[Lbrdsoxfan]

No but that is because I played video games and people are absolutely ruthless in online gaming so anything here is hardly offensive anymore.. so desensitized.

Randy's thread is pretty spicy right now... I could see why some people would be afraid to post something.

This, been doing the online thing since the BBS days, this place is vanilla (maybe too much so). I remember teamspeak being the craze in FPS games on PC, I was big in that crowd and the insanity you'd hear on your headphones would make me, an ex serviceman even cringe.

I try to put in the honest effort to find an answer before posting up a thread, the only thing about here is that there's a LOT of regurgitation of the same stuff, which can be frustrating... Or the person that's just too dense and continues to ask the same question hoping for another answer then that which was already given by consensus.

 

[Lbrdsoxfan]

I find here it’s a little different comparing to video games .

Only a little...

 

[Miami Reef]

Based on the number of posts you have made, I don't think you have an issue with fear of judgement!

Well, just by reading this sentence, I felt literal chills run down my spine and rush to my feet.

I got scared when I saw the word “you.” I felt like I was about to be called out.

And I was diagnosed with pretty bad social anxiety since I was small, so I do struggle even though it doesn’t “seem” like it.

Do you know how many posts I asked to delete after posting it because I feared of all the judgments I would get?

Sometimes it’s irrational, but it doesn’t feel like it to me.

 

[Rmckoy]

Well, just by reading this sentence, I felt literal chills run down my spine.

I get scared when I see the work “you.” I feel like I was about to be called out.

And I am diagnosed with pretty bad social anxiety since I was small, so I do struggle even though it doesn’t “seem” like it.

Do you know how many posts I asked to delete after posting it because I fear of all the judgments I will get?

Miami … this is completely opposite from me .
I would have never guessed you as anxious at all . Especially after reading many of your posts .

 

[EeyoreIsMySpiritAnimal]

Well, just by reading this sentence, I felt literal chills run down my spine and rush to my feet.

I got scared when I saw the word “you.” I felt like I was about to be called out.

And I am diagnosed with pretty bad social anxiety since I was small, so I do struggle even though it doesn’t “seem” like it.

Do you know how many posts I asked to delete after posting it because I feared of all the judgments I would get?

Sometimes it’s irrational, but it doesn’t feel like it to me.

I'm sorry you struggle with this. But on the forum, your threads/posts are so detailed, honest, and helpful, that I doubt anyone who has read anything you've posted would ever judge you for asking a question... Even a boneheaded one

Edit: not to imply you'd actually ask a boneheaded question...

 

[jabberwock]

Nah, I grew up when is it was ok (in fact expected) that you would fight back against the bullies.

 

[Rmckoy]

Nah, I grew up when is it was ok (in fact expected) that you would fight back against the bullies.

R2r has its bullies for sure just like every other social
Setting but I believe there is banter , and the odd debate but we all handle everything here as mature as possible .
many years here and I can honestly say I have not witnessed much that has went too far or out of hand .

 

[Miami Reef]

I'm sorry you struggle with this. But on the forum, your threads/posts are so detailed, honest, and helpful, that I doubt anyone who has read anything you've posted would ever judge you for asking a question... Even a boneheaded one

Edit: not to imply you'd actually ask a boneheaded question...

You are sweet for the compliments.

Thank you guys for trying to make me feel better. I promise I’m ok! I just wanted to know if there are others who felt like me.

I don’t think I’ll have the guts to ask my question because basically you know how someone tells you not to do something and you still do it, and you kind of want advice because they were right, but you don’t want to admit it because you fear that everyone would say “I told you so!” and chant ruthless things about what kind of terrible person you are? That’s kind of the dilemma I’m going through.


But I think I figured out what to do and I’m pretty sure I have the situation all fixed.

BTW Nothing bad happened to my tank. I think I prevented it which makes me relieved.

 

[jmatt]

There are no stupid questions. Just stupid people asking questions.

Since I am about to add water to my new tank next week, I am about to make every mistake everyone on this forum has made in the past -- and like them, when my search doesn't find the answer I'll ask the question.

I expect this will go on forever. "Oh, I'm about to become the 'What's this thing on my fish?' guy."

 

[EeyoreIsMySpiritAnimal]

There are no stupid questions. Just stupid people asking questions.

Since I am about to add water to my new tank next week, I am about to make every mistake everyone on this forum has made in the past -- and like them, when my search doesn't find the answer I'll ask the question.

I expect this will go on forever. "Oh, I'm about to become the 'What's this thing on my fish?' guy."

Just don't ask if your clowns are "acting normal"

 

[Rmckoy]

Just don't ask if your clowns are "acting normal"

Now I know who to tag when i read normal
Clown posts .