- Joined
- Nov 23, 2006
- Messages
- 13,377
- Reaction score
- 11,088
- Location
- Los Angeles
- What state or country do you live in
- California
Hey, been a while…
Okay, I have to admit, I have taken one of my infamous (?) “hiatuses” from writing for a few weeks.
Encouragingly, a lot of readers wonder if I’m okay when I take a little break. And the good wishes and concern are most appreciated, yet not necessary, really. It is often mentioned that I’m the “morning coffee” for a lot of people, for which I am grateful. It’s cool to be a part of your lives!
Periodically, as a writer, business person- human being- I just find it nice to step away, to take a break- to refresh, find new inspiration- take care of business and some of the other areas of my life. This was partially the case this time; of course, there were a few other reasons, including a gnarly case of “walking pneumonia”, whatever that is.
You know over the years that I share my feelings with you. Sometimes they can tick you off…sometimes you can relate…other times, you couldn’t give two $#%^&&…But hey, I’ve always tried to be honest with you in my writing. So here’s my thing:
Ever get the feeling that you've become the worst version of yourself? I mean, you have an attitude about something- or everything, for that matter, which taints your viewpoint? Yeah, that was me.
Like most business owners, I dedicated- dedicate- a good part of my essence- who I am- into building my business, taking care of customers, following the hobby and industry in general, etc. It hardly seems like work many days, because I love it. Weather it’s taking care of a customer at Unique Corals, or spreading the word on my new freshwater specialty venture, Tannin Aquatics, I take pride and generally enjoy almost every aspect of the business.
Yet it can sometimes take one little thing to knock you for a loop.
Something triggered me a few weeks back…You may remember my rant on coral sizes on those Facebook groups and my general disbelief of them and astonishment about some of the “practices” there? Well, glutton for punishment that I am (and in the interest of staying current on some of the happenings in the reef hobby world), I do follow a bunch of these forums.
A friend and fellow industry guy forwarded a link to me about a listing on one of those “auction” groups (they call it a “swap”- which to me is insulting, because it’s an “auction”…Don’t defile the name of venerable “frag swap” with your overhyped auction activities, lol!)…Someone finally did it. They literally listed a single polyp of a “named” coral for sale….Seeing this literally set something off in my head…Like, I was just thinking “Man, this hobby is SO STUPID!” Really bad thoughts of how “everyone is stupid”…”Why do I bother contributing to this hobby?” Just awful, non-productive stuff.
Now, the one gratifying thing that arose on this thread was that the person who listed it was roundly thrashed…I’d normally say, “unfairly”, but since this was one of the stupidest things I’ve ever seen in the reef hobby, in my (non humble) opinion, it was deserved. It was actually nice to see that even the people who live on these groups, some of who themselves hype absurdly small, hyper photoshopped microfrags- were incensed by this…stupidity. A few references were made to my rant, which I thought was funny.
In all fairness to the guy who listed it, he tried to justify it with some warped logic- something to the effect of “Well, everyone says that a full-sized frag is so expensive, this gives everyone a chance to get this coral..” I mean, “full size” in this context is laugh-worthy, so hearing this was really amusing…although I guess the guy had a point in his own mind in this context.
Regardless, it got so bad that the moderator of the group actually pulled the thread down, which I thought was sort of funny, actually.…I mean, these groups, in my opinion, foster some of the most absurd behavior in the reef hobby, so to see this being “too much” for these buffoons really made me laugh.
But inside, I wasn’t laughing.
I was crying.
I mean, this hobby that means so much to me- to so many, is just pulled through the gutter with that kind of stuff. I felt like, “This is where the reef hobby is at after 3 decades?” Someone rationalized that there was a demand for this. That this would somehow be good for the hobby? It made me think about some of my customers, who work so hard to be able to afford a relatively inexpensive frag of some seemingly run-of-the-mill coral, get so excited about it…show so much joy and love for this whole thing…and then to see all of the absurd behavior on these groups- in a number of hobby sectors, on a pretty regular basis..
On the other hand, who has the right to judge how other people enjoy the hobby that we all love so much? Just because I had an attitude of self-righteous indignity because I felt I was somehow “above” that…yuck.
This stuff just got into my head. Big time.
It made me question the hobby, myself, what we do…I mean, I SELL CORAL FOR A LIVING. And some of it is pretty darned expensive, too. What did that say about me and my company? Hypocritical?
I was questioning the “purity” of this endeavor; what it means…What my company stood for, etc. A real “what the heck” moment. I decided I didn’t want to participate in the absurdity perpetuated in those groups. Ever. I wanted to just give them the “middle finger”, if you know what I mean. As if it was “my” hobby or something. And I even questioned if I was fostering similar awful behavior merely by being in the industry…and I suppose it could absolutely be argued that I was…
I mean, a really gross feeling.
Now, a lot of you would be correct in saying, “Suck it up- Fellman…There are far more important things in life than this garbage…” or “What, you're without blame? You SELL coral, you moron.” or “Get off your throne, you arrogant_______!” “You’re just frustrated at yourself…”
Yup. All true.
But I was still just disgusted… I mean 29 years as a legitimate reef hobbyist, and this absurdity was really getting to me in a way no other hobby issue ever did.
I was literally going to put up a blog that would have read like this:
“10 Reasons why Facebook Coral “Swap” Groups are good for the hobby!”
1)
2)
3)
4)
5)
6)
7)
8)
9)
10)
(Okay. I guess I kind of just did it, huh?)
But seriously- how well would THAT have gone over…especially when it got re-posted?
Yeah. Glad I held back.
Talk about petty, spiteful, and decisive. All of this stuff brought up so many bad things in my mind…my disdain for some reef people and companies, a desire to disengage from some hobby discussions, etc. I was ticked off at people who I felt took advantage of my generosity or position within the industry to get “stuff” and curry favors over the years. I was mad at people who I felt were using my personal “brand equity” to their own advantage. I was ticked at the universe for taking my dad, who started me in the hobby as a child, at too young an age. I was ticked off at like everyone.
This was awful. A veritable “Pandora’s Box” had been unsealed…
Really bad stuff. And when you feel that way, it’s time to go take a time out in the corner. You simply can’t blog when you have nothing positive to say about anything reef related…especially when the reality is that there was- IS- soon much good stuff out there to write about.
I needed a break.
And during my break, I thought. Long and hard, about how ridiculous I was being. I thought about the 9 speaking gigs I have liked up for 2016 so far, and the clubs I support with frags from Unique and products from Tannin as well. These were good people. Reefers. Reef club members. Our “tribe.” They represent the best that this hobby has to offer. Light years beyond the hype-mongering social media perpetuators of absurdity, IMHO.
I thought about the many hardworking, honest vendors who work on these forums, doing their best to bring us great corals and great experiences. They share their love every day. I thought about the body of work that I’ve put out on R2R and elsewhere, and how much I was able to touch other reefers; stimulate them…get them stoked about the hobby.
And best of all, I started working on that darned little tank in my home office…Playing with a reef tank once again. Perusing the forums as a hobbyist…interacting with reefers as a reefer yet again. Avoiding the people and places in the hobby that didn’t deserve my attention…
I drilled holes in my off-the-shelf stand to mount my Vortec. I jury rigged a DC pump into this tank’s little return compartment. Schemed out a dosing system, planned my live rock, selected some choice prices…Talked with some of my amazing, creative fish friends. Just generally geeked out as a reef hobbyist.
It felt good. It feels good. Doing what we do- however we do it…is a good thing. I can’t say that you shouldn’t ever let stuff get to you, or judge others; whatever. Because we’re all human.
But I can tell you not to lose sight of the fact that what we do is supposed to be fun. And that at this very moment, there are people all over the world who can’t do any of this. And that we have brave men and women in uniform- some of them even reefers- who would love to play with a frag of Xenia right now…but they can’t- because they’re laying it all on the line for people like me to geek out about a pastime…a hobby.
Yeah, there’s more to life than a fish tank. But when you have the opportunity to play with one- get your hands wet…and enjoy it. Don’t let it slip away. Don’t let a few ridiculous things keep you from loving what you do.
Because at the end of the day, we can all enjoy this wonderful hobby together, and share the hard-earned wisdom that we gained- for everyone’s benefit. There is not a person or thing in this hobby that you can’t learn from.
Even yourself.
I won’t forget that again…
And that’s how Scott got his groove back.
We’ll get back to real reef stuff tomorrow!
Stay in the game. Stay cool. Stay grateful. Stay fair. Be honest with yourself…
And stay wet.
Scott Fellman
Unique Corals
Okay, I have to admit, I have taken one of my infamous (?) “hiatuses” from writing for a few weeks.
Encouragingly, a lot of readers wonder if I’m okay when I take a little break. And the good wishes and concern are most appreciated, yet not necessary, really. It is often mentioned that I’m the “morning coffee” for a lot of people, for which I am grateful. It’s cool to be a part of your lives!
Periodically, as a writer, business person- human being- I just find it nice to step away, to take a break- to refresh, find new inspiration- take care of business and some of the other areas of my life. This was partially the case this time; of course, there were a few other reasons, including a gnarly case of “walking pneumonia”, whatever that is.
You know over the years that I share my feelings with you. Sometimes they can tick you off…sometimes you can relate…other times, you couldn’t give two $#%^&&…But hey, I’ve always tried to be honest with you in my writing. So here’s my thing:
Ever get the feeling that you've become the worst version of yourself? I mean, you have an attitude about something- or everything, for that matter, which taints your viewpoint? Yeah, that was me.
Like most business owners, I dedicated- dedicate- a good part of my essence- who I am- into building my business, taking care of customers, following the hobby and industry in general, etc. It hardly seems like work many days, because I love it. Weather it’s taking care of a customer at Unique Corals, or spreading the word on my new freshwater specialty venture, Tannin Aquatics, I take pride and generally enjoy almost every aspect of the business.
Yet it can sometimes take one little thing to knock you for a loop.
Something triggered me a few weeks back…You may remember my rant on coral sizes on those Facebook groups and my general disbelief of them and astonishment about some of the “practices” there? Well, glutton for punishment that I am (and in the interest of staying current on some of the happenings in the reef hobby world), I do follow a bunch of these forums.
A friend and fellow industry guy forwarded a link to me about a listing on one of those “auction” groups (they call it a “swap”- which to me is insulting, because it’s an “auction”…Don’t defile the name of venerable “frag swap” with your overhyped auction activities, lol!)…Someone finally did it. They literally listed a single polyp of a “named” coral for sale….Seeing this literally set something off in my head…Like, I was just thinking “Man, this hobby is SO STUPID!” Really bad thoughts of how “everyone is stupid”…”Why do I bother contributing to this hobby?” Just awful, non-productive stuff.
Now, the one gratifying thing that arose on this thread was that the person who listed it was roundly thrashed…I’d normally say, “unfairly”, but since this was one of the stupidest things I’ve ever seen in the reef hobby, in my (non humble) opinion, it was deserved. It was actually nice to see that even the people who live on these groups, some of who themselves hype absurdly small, hyper photoshopped microfrags- were incensed by this…stupidity. A few references were made to my rant, which I thought was funny.
In all fairness to the guy who listed it, he tried to justify it with some warped logic- something to the effect of “Well, everyone says that a full-sized frag is so expensive, this gives everyone a chance to get this coral..” I mean, “full size” in this context is laugh-worthy, so hearing this was really amusing…although I guess the guy had a point in his own mind in this context.
Regardless, it got so bad that the moderator of the group actually pulled the thread down, which I thought was sort of funny, actually.…I mean, these groups, in my opinion, foster some of the most absurd behavior in the reef hobby, so to see this being “too much” for these buffoons really made me laugh.
But inside, I wasn’t laughing.
I was crying.
I mean, this hobby that means so much to me- to so many, is just pulled through the gutter with that kind of stuff. I felt like, “This is where the reef hobby is at after 3 decades?” Someone rationalized that there was a demand for this. That this would somehow be good for the hobby? It made me think about some of my customers, who work so hard to be able to afford a relatively inexpensive frag of some seemingly run-of-the-mill coral, get so excited about it…show so much joy and love for this whole thing…and then to see all of the absurd behavior on these groups- in a number of hobby sectors, on a pretty regular basis..
On the other hand, who has the right to judge how other people enjoy the hobby that we all love so much? Just because I had an attitude of self-righteous indignity because I felt I was somehow “above” that…yuck.
This stuff just got into my head. Big time.
It made me question the hobby, myself, what we do…I mean, I SELL CORAL FOR A LIVING. And some of it is pretty darned expensive, too. What did that say about me and my company? Hypocritical?
I was questioning the “purity” of this endeavor; what it means…What my company stood for, etc. A real “what the heck” moment. I decided I didn’t want to participate in the absurdity perpetuated in those groups. Ever. I wanted to just give them the “middle finger”, if you know what I mean. As if it was “my” hobby or something. And I even questioned if I was fostering similar awful behavior merely by being in the industry…and I suppose it could absolutely be argued that I was…
I mean, a really gross feeling.
Now, a lot of you would be correct in saying, “Suck it up- Fellman…There are far more important things in life than this garbage…” or “What, you're without blame? You SELL coral, you moron.” or “Get off your throne, you arrogant_______!” “You’re just frustrated at yourself…”
Yup. All true.
But I was still just disgusted… I mean 29 years as a legitimate reef hobbyist, and this absurdity was really getting to me in a way no other hobby issue ever did.
I was literally going to put up a blog that would have read like this:
“10 Reasons why Facebook Coral “Swap” Groups are good for the hobby!”
1)
2)
3)
4)
5)
6)
7)
8)
9)
10)
(Okay. I guess I kind of just did it, huh?)
But seriously- how well would THAT have gone over…especially when it got re-posted?
Yeah. Glad I held back.
Talk about petty, spiteful, and decisive. All of this stuff brought up so many bad things in my mind…my disdain for some reef people and companies, a desire to disengage from some hobby discussions, etc. I was ticked off at people who I felt took advantage of my generosity or position within the industry to get “stuff” and curry favors over the years. I was mad at people who I felt were using my personal “brand equity” to their own advantage. I was ticked at the universe for taking my dad, who started me in the hobby as a child, at too young an age. I was ticked off at like everyone.
This was awful. A veritable “Pandora’s Box” had been unsealed…
Really bad stuff. And when you feel that way, it’s time to go take a time out in the corner. You simply can’t blog when you have nothing positive to say about anything reef related…especially when the reality is that there was- IS- soon much good stuff out there to write about.
I needed a break.
And during my break, I thought. Long and hard, about how ridiculous I was being. I thought about the 9 speaking gigs I have liked up for 2016 so far, and the clubs I support with frags from Unique and products from Tannin as well. These were good people. Reefers. Reef club members. Our “tribe.” They represent the best that this hobby has to offer. Light years beyond the hype-mongering social media perpetuators of absurdity, IMHO.
I thought about the many hardworking, honest vendors who work on these forums, doing their best to bring us great corals and great experiences. They share their love every day. I thought about the body of work that I’ve put out on R2R and elsewhere, and how much I was able to touch other reefers; stimulate them…get them stoked about the hobby.
And best of all, I started working on that darned little tank in my home office…Playing with a reef tank once again. Perusing the forums as a hobbyist…interacting with reefers as a reefer yet again. Avoiding the people and places in the hobby that didn’t deserve my attention…
I drilled holes in my off-the-shelf stand to mount my Vortec. I jury rigged a DC pump into this tank’s little return compartment. Schemed out a dosing system, planned my live rock, selected some choice prices…Talked with some of my amazing, creative fish friends. Just generally geeked out as a reef hobbyist.
It felt good. It feels good. Doing what we do- however we do it…is a good thing. I can’t say that you shouldn’t ever let stuff get to you, or judge others; whatever. Because we’re all human.
But I can tell you not to lose sight of the fact that what we do is supposed to be fun. And that at this very moment, there are people all over the world who can’t do any of this. And that we have brave men and women in uniform- some of them even reefers- who would love to play with a frag of Xenia right now…but they can’t- because they’re laying it all on the line for people like me to geek out about a pastime…a hobby.
Yeah, there’s more to life than a fish tank. But when you have the opportunity to play with one- get your hands wet…and enjoy it. Don’t let it slip away. Don’t let a few ridiculous things keep you from loving what you do.
Because at the end of the day, we can all enjoy this wonderful hobby together, and share the hard-earned wisdom that we gained- for everyone’s benefit. There is not a person or thing in this hobby that you can’t learn from.
Even yourself.
I won’t forget that again…
And that’s how Scott got his groove back.
We’ll get back to real reef stuff tomorrow!
Stay in the game. Stay cool. Stay grateful. Stay fair. Be honest with yourself…
And stay wet.
Scott Fellman
Unique Corals
