You'll go crazy trying to find the "perfect" light.. lol.
Welcome to the hobby. The start-up costs are sickening. Thankfully, they transition into livestock costs (which is at least a lot more fun). It sounds like your head is in the right place.
Nothing wrong with HOB or just water changes in a DT if that's what you want. If that's not what you want, strongly consider biting the bullet on a sump now. Just make a decision you're committed to living with for 3 years so you don't have to spend the same money twice.
I have two kids as well. There's no way around the fact that you'll have at least 6 or 7 cords, a couple power strips, and 100+ gallons of water, with lights perched above.
If they're feisty little devils, you might consider just a DT and no sump. They can't reach into the DT. I'm forever chasing my kids out from under the stand. They like the fuge light and the "yucky bubbles" skimmer. We have gvci and a brand new breaker box, but I still worry they'll knock the fuge light into the water. Anyhow, the UL rating of your lights probly will not be your primary safety concern. My kids love the tank though. I'm sure yours will too!