Please think about what you write before you post and be KIND.

[hdsoftail1065]

Well done and well said @mike werner!

 

[Patrick.S]

Instead of being always positive, I try to be always professional. Criticism and debate are a good thing when separated from hubris and bad manners.

 

[vetteguy53081]

These are the positive attitudes that bring positive results. We will all encounter a "Jerk" in lighter terms.
We are fortunate to have a great moderator team who reviews all posts and will often intercept a poor comment or rude person.
I had one 2 weeks ago in which I offered a couple of tips and the person comment " Thanks for Nothing". If this is the case- Don't ask then.

 

[Bruce Burnett]

Lately I have read several posts that I find unkind.For the most part our community is made up of what I consider the kindest people around.Positive people giving positive advice and comments.That is what myself and most have migrated to this site for and because of.
I post it in this forum because it seems to be viewed by the most members and I want as many members as possible to see it.
Today I happened upon another post in a thread that was border line rude to a person who was just trying to become part of our family.I won't go into what was posted or said but one members response just ruffled my feathers.I wanted to respond back but being angry at the moment I thought it was best to sit on my response and not be "that guy".I figured instead of letting that one person know what I thought of his negativity I would reach out to the community and ask that they remember to ALWAYS BE KIND and or POSITIVE in their responces.To me it just seemed to be a better approach to what was angering me.More flies with honey would be my approach this time.
So I ask our members to please be mindful of your posts.Be courteous and considerate to others when posting.It is a big part of what has made r2r so successful.I'm sure the guy who started this site would agree.

I noticed a bit of change a while back and I agree, if I want to banter back and forth Facebook is good for that. I have never unfriended anyone for their opinions but I have been unfriended for mine. Let's keep this about keeping our tanks.

 

[Forsaken77]

This site has BY FAR the fewest elitists or rude people. There is no "mob mentality" here either. Definitely one of the best forums online.

I think the price of admission into the hobby may make our forums a bit kinder and it also weeds out a lot of people lacking discipline. You need discipline to be a reefer .

 

[Breadman03]

A goal of message boards is to spread information, and usually the most effective way is to be positive and to have the mindset to teach and to learn.

The ultimate goal, however, is not to create a safe space for reefers, but to create a healthy environment for the animals we keep, and sometimes the truth can hurt.

... just my opinion.

Very true, but the way we choose to spread that information makes a difference.

"Hey numbskull, you can't do that or you'll kill all your fish."

"Hey, that has been problematic for many people. See (thread 1), (thread 2). You should consider this better option, (thread 3), (thread 4)."

 

[DaveC]

+1 this is why I am here

 

[Ruben's Reef]

Thanks @mike werner for this reminder. Something that I like on R2R is the way we show respect to everyone. We all said " don't hesitate to ask any question " to the new reefers and even if the question sounds weird, thinking on a proper way to give a good answer will show that respect. I don't go to often to Facebook but I saw people throwing offensive comments to a new member who made a mistake on his tank and looking for help. In multiple times instead of responding to the post I tell them to go here R2R where they can find a lot of answers to their questions.

 

[Crabs McJones]

Love this! And always remember if someones getting outta line we can always report the post and get a mods attention. Thanks for helping keep our forum friendly!

Agreed, please report any and all posts that need attention or even put a #mods #mod in your comment. When you do this, the entire MOD team is made aware of the post and the situation. It shouldn't have to fall upon you guys, the users, to remind people to be nice, or get threads back on track. That is what us MODS are grossly overpaid for But thank you all for everything that do you do and I absolutely love the users and the community here

 

[revhtree Verified Admin]

Well said!

I wear my heart on my sleeve so I have had to learn to be respectful of others opinions even when they don't line up with what I believe. That being said I still have areas where I easily jump the gun and get emotional. Sometimes we all need a good reminder. Thank you for the reminder.

 

[Pbh-reef]

I really appreciate this thread. I think when people aren’t doing what you believe (and often rightly believe) to be best for their reef that it is far more effective to approach them with non-judgmental curiosity than to berate them. People are here to learn and if they are doing something that isn’t best practice they usually either don’t know what the best practice is or there is some obstacle (usually a combination of real and perceived) to them doing what would be best for their reef. In other words there isn’t a tension between treating people kindly and helping their animals to thrive and not die in their care. I think often these two things go hand in hand and that when people post unkindly it has a lot to do with their own frustrations and not the OP who is asking for help.


This is my opinion based on my own experience on this forum and as someone who works in mental health for a living.

 

[DaveC]

We have to do 'Code of Conduct' training at work. It's hard to believe that people need to be taught to be respectful to others. Seems like such a no brainer to me. ( especially in the workplace )

 

[dbl]

Well said @mike werner and thank you for doing so. We actually encourage healthy debate but it needs to be done in a friendly and respectful manner. It's what makes R2R so special in my mind.

It's perfectly okay to disagree with someone but when it comes to that point when you get frustrated and start to loose your cool, try typing this the next time....."We'll just have to agree to disagree". Then go and find another thread to participate in, we have plenty here.

 

[Captain Quint]

Again, grateful for good members and Staff here, in addition, to our common denominator.

Yes, we're human, sometimes have a bad day, mess up and might saying something stupid but all it takes is a simple honest apology to reset the kindness in all of us.

 

[AquaticLifeProducts]

As a manufacturer I can not agree more with the sites overall feeling of helping each other. We support the site because of the great community of people here and how the interaction has been for us over the last several years. The fact that we can discuss products, reason products have been made the way they are, is important to us. Plus, constructive suggestions from members is invaluable.

Love the topic, appreciate the community and look forward to discussing and reading about the hobby.

 

[mike werner]

Very true, but the way we choose to spread that information makes a difference.

"Hey numbskull, you can't do that or you'll kill all your fish."

"Hey, that has been problematic for many people. See (thread 1), (thread 2). You should consider this better option, (thread 3), (thread 4)."

This is a great approach when replying to a "numbskull".Some people you just can not teach or help but at least we try here at r2r.I hope this thread has at least helped some to rethink their approach when they reply to a difficult post or poster.Always be the better person even if it is hard sometimes.
Thanks for all the great responces

 

[Dolelo96]

Very true, but the way we choose to spread that information makes a difference.

"Hey numbskull, you can't do that or you'll kill all your fish."

"Hey, that has been problematic for many people. See (thread 1), (thread 2). You should consider this better option, (thread 3), (thread 4)."

It’s all in the presentation [emoji4]

 

[Paul B]

I get criticized all the time because I am old senile and have PTSD so sometimes my reply doesn’t come off the way it was supposed to. I am glad when people tell me that because to me this is all fun but I have to realize some people take it personally so I have to work on my answers

 

[brandon429]

As mentioned earlier there's time for hearty debate as that's the most fun driver of practice/evolution leading to production of reef mass vs losing it.

If we back pat each other all the time, we stagnate. All beefs and procedural vendettas here are battled by gentleman and ladies who are mighty passionate but I can't recall any over the line stuff. I recall virtual pokes willingly received/offered during hearty battles of detritus yes or no, sandbeds yes or no, percent water change ideals, quarantine ideals, ethics of small tank reefing etc and I've loved every minute of it.

I saw readers become both challenged and motivated by those battle threads-made new friends in direct message chat due to them. We have some neato experiments cooking based on the DM's, about to be posted, this is the evolution in play and it was the gladiator battle system that generated it>don't ever lose ur edge rtr


Not once did we trade-in-challenge with anyone other than seasoned old reef practitioners who willingly wanted to do thumb-type tablet battle...then we hit the virtual pub soon after.

People self regulate really well here.
twenty page nerd battles are smiled upon and not regulated with a big stick. I guess it's perfect so far. if you want to science mosh + digital bruising you can with firm respect, or if you are new member and just want to link up with calmer interactions you sure can. Reef2reef= diversity and absolutely perfect management consistency and tonality.

 

[Gentle Dumpling]

all you snowflakes better preemptively ignore me then