Reefing Fatigue?

[niQo]

This is not an "I am about to break down my tank so please talk me out of it" type thread. I am looking for people who have been in a similar position as I am currently: The demands of life "forcing" you to break down your tank combined with a decrease of interest in the hobby. I started my first tank about 6 years ago, but had spend much time (years) on forums before the initial tank happened.

My current tank has been one of much frustration and I am in the place right now where I do not feel like spending any more money on it. Also, I work 36 hours a week and I am pursuing a Master's degree part-time. This coming December we are expecting our fourth child and in 2021 I'll be working on my Thesis project. It looks like it will be a very busy time and the thought of spending time doing maintenance or even mentally spending time on trying to figure out what's wrong with it this time sounds quite unappealing to me. I want to be focused on family and Thesis as much as I can.

Have you been in a situation in which you had to take down your tank and take a break from the hobby for a while? Did the break help you get excited about the hobby again? I realize that those who did not return to the hobby probably aren't on the forum anymore, but I am mostly looking for those who made a "come-back" to see what this next season might be like.

I have also played with the idea of simply going FOWLR and that might be a legitimate option as well. Anyway, curious to see what the reefing community has to say to this. Thanks!

 

[Flippers4pups]

Just saying it's okay to take a break. Nothing wrong given the load that's on you.

Let's see what other say.

 

[Trylobyte]

Though I agree with the above reply, I kind of want to know what is actually going on with your tank that is causing it to be so frustrating? I mean, "maintenance" doesn't actually take that much or long, maybe an hour once a week and few hours once a month to batch up some RO/DI and pre-mixed salt, clean out some equipment and give an actual scrape rather than mag-float or algae pad. So what exactly is happening at this point? Maybe there is a root cause, and if you fix that you wouldn't have to break down at all or even switch to FOWLR.

EDIT: I should clarify I appreciate the responsibilities you have. I currently am getting my degree in software engineering (albeit bachelors not masters) and am a single father with full custody of identical twin boys (8 years old) and also work. So I feel your pain on really not having enough time in the day for everything you hope to accomplish. Just figured I would ask what is causing the stress from the tank and hopefully get some answers on how to address that and then let you to actually enjoy the fruits of your labor and money thus far.

 

[mbmartin06]

In 2006 I had the almost exact same scenario. I worked full time, was finishing my degree (15 yr plan lol,) lost interest/time for maintenance and my fourth child was born. Had to step away until last year. I never lost the desire to have a cool reef tank just lost the time to do it. Now i’m back and it’s fun again. Take care of yourself and your family and the tank will be waiting for you when you have the time again.

 

[WVNed]

I went the FOWLR way myself. I got stuck working forced overtime for a few years in one part of my life and in another I worked full time at night and went to school full time in the day.
Fish don't care if the tank is green and gooey. Many of them eat the stuff. All you have to test is nitrates and change some water when they get up there.

It supposed to be fun. If it is a burden then quit. No shame on you.

 

[Sailingeric]

I am a lazy reefer, I don't want to deal with daily testing and dosing. Most of my corals are softies and mushrooms. I have corals without a lot of work. Maybe go that route.

 

[tehmadreefer]

Taking a break is fine, but why when you have to start all over again, just not worth it. Especially for those with a younger tank, finally get it nice and mature then throw it’s the towel? Might as well stay out or for a few years.

reefing isnt like other hobbies that you can pick up where you left off.

 

[Dr. Dendrostein]

This is not an "I am about to break down my tank so please talk me out of it" type thread. I am looking for people who have been in a similar position as I am currently: The demands of life "forcing" you to break down your tank combined with a decrease of interest in the hobby. I started my first tank about 6 years ago, but had spend much time (years) on forums before the initial tank happened.

My current tank has been one of much frustration and I am in the place right now where I do not feel like spending any more money on it. Also, I work 36 hours a week and I am pursuing a Master's degree part-time. This coming December we are expecting our fourth child and in 2021 I'll be working on my Thesis project. It looks like it will be a very busy time and the thought of spending time doing maintenance or even mentally spending time on trying to figure out what's wrong with it this time sounds quite unappealing to me. I want to be focused on family and Thesis as much as I can.

Have you been in a situation in which you had to take down your tank and take a break from the hobby for a while? Did the break help you get excited about the hobby again? I realize that those who did not return to the hobby probably aren't on the forum anymore, but I am mostly looking for those who made a "come-back" to see what this next season might be like.

I have also played with the idea of simply going FOWLR and that might be a legitimate option as well. Anyway, curious to see what the reefing community has to say to this. Thanks!

Yea, I took a break, from 1989 till 10/2017, wish I never did, take a break. But I'm back, have you considered smaller tank, and store the rest, for now. Let us know. Be safe

X

 

[F i s h y]

Changes in my life caused me to leave the hobby. I was extremely passionate and never considered leaving, but life had other plans. Things are starting to even out in my life, and I have begun researching my "dream build" my passion and desire are just as strong now as they were when I exited the hobby nearly 10 years ago. Life has seasons. You have a great deal going on in your life and from the sound of it, things that require your utmost attention. We get into this or any hobby because it excites us, relaxes us, makes us happy, because its a place that we can go to put the "other things" away if even just for a minute. If the hobby feels like a chore, if it isn't bringing the satisfaction that it once did, maybe a break will allow that passion to come back. For me it certainly has, and im excited to say... my passion and preparation has even excited a friend of mine to begin their journey in the hobby too. Regardless, even without a tank, you have things to learn and things to share and this community is a great place for that.

 

[Homebrewer]

I had a “crash” and went basically to a FOWLR, though I did have one mushroom and believe it or not, a BTA survive even though I made no reasonable attempt to keep coral. I had kids, moved, and then one day I looked at the tank and had a serious conversation with myself...

Was I going to do it right, now that things had settled down, or did I want to give it up?

After talking with my wife, and her saying that she really wanted to keep the tank and that it would be fun for the kids as they grew up, I decided, we’ll, if I’m gonna do this then I’m gonna DO this!

I re-researched EVERYTHING, basically re-taught myself out of old ways of thinking in this hobby, and bought a few new things. I made careful purchases based on careful decisions and now, I’m happier in the hobby than I’ve ever been.

Sounds like you’re having that same conversation with yourself right now. I went the FOWLR route, you don’t have to. If you take a break, there’s nothing wrong with that. Like has been said, you’re supposed to have fun with this hobby. If it’s not fun at all, then you may have your answer.

 

[Bob Weigant]

That sounds to me like you are gonna have a lot on your hands. If it was me I’d have to take a break

 

[ZipAdeeZoa]

I think animal keepers of all sorts know that feeling, it's kind of a soft burn out. II've felt that way about my animals at one time or another. You wonder why you're doing it, why you spend all that time and energy when it could be put towards to something else. There isn't really a good answer as everyone and everyone's situation is different.

I've certainly gotten in over my head with animals before wether it be care or amounts. It took a long time but for a while I had no choice but to not own any pets and it was a really rough time for me. It showed me that owning these animals inspired me to be the best version of myself- compassion, nurture and fascination and excitement were all tied into being surrounded by these marvellous creatures.

It wasn't a straight line by any means, I looked at my priorities and realized that a lot of the animals that I had didn't make sense for me. I rehomed the ones that didn't and kept the ones that did. I've made a few mistakes since then but as a general rule the feef tank is the highest maintenance thing I have and yet I'm confident that with where the hobby is today I can safely run a tank while continuing to pursue my passion for conservation and exploration across the globe.

But as others said there is nothing wrong with taking a break, again doing that was how I figured all of this out. To be frank this isn't for everyone and if you're unable to find happiness in it then it's very unlikely you'll give these animals the attention they deserve. I will say I see more people regret getting out of animals then being happy after but thats not to say you won't be. You know how much you can handle better than anyone else here does, I'd take some time to reflect on that.

Whatever the answer to your predicament is I wish you the best of luck and hope this helps.

 

[Spkarim]

Maybe can do less of everything for tank to take up less mental space.

Less water changes, less testing, less additives, less cleaning.

keep the ATO topped up, use some kalk, use a feeder, throw in extra snails and then let it ride for a while and see what happens.

 

[Tahoe61]

Take a break, please come back when motivated. This is not an easy hobby, but it will be here when the bug bites again.

 

[Deschutes541]

I had a very similar experience. I was having constant issues with my 110 gallon and I never had to time to properly care for it. Eventually, I said screw it and transferred what few corals and livestock I had to a 20 gallon long. I could now easily take care of it with what little time I had.

Nowadays, I have more time (and more knowledge) and am currently in the middle of a 90 gallon build. 'Rona has temporarily stopped my progress but I'm eager to get started again.

 

[ccombs]

I love the hobby, but I recently broke down my tank for similar reasons, and I am not sure if I will ever get back in. I started the tank so I could have a relaxing piece of nature in my home, but the work and stress outweighed the relaxing moments for me.

I still participate on the forum and love to learn and see others succeed, but breaking down the tank was a huge sigh of relief for me.

 

[Bethany Yates]

This is not an "I am about to break down my tank so please talk me out of it" type thread. I am looking for people who have been in a similar position as I am currently: The demands of life "forcing" you to break down your tank combined with a decrease of interest in the hobby. I started my first tank about 6 years ago, but had spend much time (years) on forums before the initial tank happened.

My current tank has been one of much frustration and I am in the place right now where I do not feel like spending any more money on it. Also, I work 36 hours a week and I am pursuing a Master's degree part-time. This coming December we are expecting our fourth child and in 2021 I'll be working on my Thesis project. It looks like it will be a very busy time and the thought of spending time doing maintenance or even mentally spending time on trying to figure out what's wrong with it this time sounds quite unappealing to me. I want to be focused on family and Thesis as much as I can.

Have you been in a situation in which you had to take down your tank and take a break from the hobby for a while? Did the break help you get excited about the hobby again? I realize that those who did not return to the hobby probably aren't on the forum anymore, but I am mostly looking for those who made a "come-back" to see what this next season might be like.

I have also played with the idea of simply going FOWLR and that might be a legitimate option as well. Anyway, curious to see what the reefing community has to say to this. Thanks!

I can totally relate!!!! A few years ago I had to move and break down a FAVORITE reef tank of over 5 years and I was totally heartbroken but had honestly become a little overwhelmed with the maintenance. My husband gave me some really good advice. He said, "I know you feel responsible for your animals but it is a hobby, if it is not making you happy and contributing positively to your life then make some changes." And after a year off I have gotten to dive back in reinvigorated and it has been so great.

Good luck!

 

[yOdaddy]

Its like having a girlfriend you don’t want to be with. So if you keep the tank you will feel forced and won’t be able to enjoy it to the fullest. Break up with the girl dude. You will find the right one when the time is right.

 

[stacksoner]

I have been trying to setup my tank for the past 8 months and couldn't find the motivation do it. This was an eye opener for me in realizing that I was depressed and had been for a long time. I'm not saying that this is the case for everyone, but if you find yourself losing passion for something that brings you so much happiness, there are probably other facets of your life that are also off balance and it may be worth talking to your doc about it and getting help.

 

[Gordonm]

I had a 72 gal years ago with mostly fish and a few easy coral. Did great but after years of always hauling water and fussing with it i got tired of it. Sold it and stayed away for a few years until i got the itch again. If told myself if i wanted to start up again it would be smaller so i could afford more better equipment for SPS coral. So here I am today with my expensive lighting and trying to succeed. Not always easy but I'm determined to have a nice tank that's not so much of a headache. Now i want to upgrade a little....lol.