Durso's can be "noisy" and will have some "noise" as water and air mix as water travels down to the sump. The amount of tolerable "noise" is subjective and varies between reef keepers.
With that said, standard durso's height in the overflow box must be determined by the constant water level in the overflow box while the system is running. The water level in the overflow box should be somewhere mid point on the overflow box weir (teeth). Not too high as this will causes water and air to "suck" at the pipe end. Too low and the incoming air won't be enough and a temporary siphon will happen.
This is the starting pointing of setting the durso stand pipe height. If the water level in the overflow box is lower than the weir, water will "splash" as it falls into the box. This can be a source of "noise". Set your initial incoming flow into the DT by this.
Now you can set the durso stand pipe height. The curved end with the air hole needs to be out of the water half way, with the pipe end submerged.
If the return pump's flow into the DT is too great, the durso may not be able to supply enough air to mix with the water traveling down the pipe creating a temporary siphon. This condition causes the "toilet" flushing sound. (Temporary siphon) Increasing the air hole diameter may help, but let's look at the drain pipe below the tank.......
Drain pipes from the DT to the sump need to be as vertical as possible. All the way down! If you must travel horizontal over to the sump, make sure you tilt the run slightly down and avoid any 90 degree elbows if possible. The reason is air gets trapped temporarily in the pipe with the water and can also cause the "toilet" sound.
Drain exits at the sump need to be no more than an 1/2"-1" below the sump water line. More than that can cause some back pressure in the drain, thus causing a temporary siphon and the "toilet" flushing sound. Water/air mix exiting the drain can cause noise. This can be reduced by use of filter socks or a "bubble box".
If all of this has been done and it still makes "toilet" flushing sound, reduce the return pump flow to the DT till the sound is gone.
Hope this helps, but remember durso's are never completely quiet.