Here is how to think about the issue.
RO is proportional removal (ie. 99% ion removal) while with softener and DI you are exchanging ions so in a sense you are paying for every ion you take out. So at a basic level the most efficient is proportional removal first, followed by softener and then DI. This gets you the most removal at the lowest cost.
There are a few complications to think about though.
1. RO water is corrosive in general. So you probably don't want to run your whole house water through RO if your plumbing is copper or other metals. Even is the plumbing is PVC, you still have to worry potentially about your fixtures corroding.
2. RO membranes are sensitive to transitional metals (iron, manganese, aluminum) and to suspended solids. Some of these particularly iron can cause issues so a softener in front can help protect the RO to some degree although softeners are rather poor at removing particulates.
3. RO produces water much slower than softener at the same price point. So you have to store RO water if you have multiple users. That may or may not be an issue, but you have to make sure that you have allocated space for that.
So in general for a household, soft water should be plumbed to the house and RO water should be just for the aquarium or other hobbies (coffee, beer making, car washing

whatever you need ultra pure water for)