What type of drain configuration do you have?
Sounds like you are experiencing a drain that oscillates between full siphon and not full siphon. When the drain is completely below the water level and no air is being sucked in, it will have a higher flow rate and fill your sump up. Then the water in the overflow will drop and the drain will suck air and the flow rate will reduce. In that condition the return pump has a higher flow rate than the drain and the overflow water level raises. It will oscillate like this until you match the pump flow rate to the drain flow rate.
With out knowing the drain configuration you have, I wouldn't be able to tell how to set the drain and return pump.
If you only have one drain. Then you need to put a valve in the return pump outlet and lower the pump flow rate.
If you have a primary and secondary drain then, put a valve in the drain line and reduce the flow rate of the drain so the primary stays in a full siphon and the secondary is just just flowing a trickle.