Tank crash depression...someone...anyone...help

My heater malfunctioned and boiled all life in my 29g. The set up came to live with me in Dec. 2015 and the fish came with it. The only I had put in it was some new sand.
Christmas eve my husband got himself a blue spot jaw fish that he had expressed interest in and was 30% off. We didn't realize it could fit through the eggcrate over the 55g and he was carpet jerky the day after Christmas.
3 months after the boiling I started losing fish to velvet. From there it spiraled out of control until both the 29g and the 55g were fallow for 76 days.
In that time 3 QTs were set up and I lost all but one fish that came from the 2 DTs. One of these QTs was set up for coral.
In February I dragged my husband to the big frag swap that was an hour away. I spent close to $300 which is a lot for me. I used puppy dog eyes often that day. One of the pieces of coral that I got was a single stick 1 and 1/4" tall of the most beautiful Oregon blue tort for $80. I nearly gagged with that price but I had to have it. When I got home I acclimated all of the corals we bought (a total of 5 and 2 anemone crabs). The swap was on Saturday. By the time I got home from work Monday night, the tort was dead and the others were on their way. With disgust I threw the 4 remaining into a 20g tank that was just getting started, but older than the coral QT. Why? Don't ask me, I was mad and crying (Not only am I the emotional sort, but I'm also a licensed vet tech, my job is to save lives, not kill them). 2 of them seem to be coming back now after 2 months of what I thought was imminent death.
Last Sunday I treated the 29 with RedCyanoRx. During the fallow time Cyano and flatworms took hold and I finally settled on RCR after consulting @melev . He's a reefer I trust explicitly. Wednesday night I did a 30% water change.
2 nights ago my lavender condylactis took her own life when she attached herself to a heater. She was trying to get away from an amorous maroon clown.

Frustrated? Angry? Yea.
Do I want to quit? Sometimes, I do. But I've had aquariums almost my entire life and I've wanted saltwater aquariums for 40 of those years, so no...I refuse to quit. As the old cigarette ad used to say, "I'd rather fight than quit." My husband is not so resilient so I do a lot of "pep talks" to keep him interested.

Today I'm quite pleased with the 29g and the 55g only has a starry blenny in it right now as there are 2 clarkiis, a pistol shrimp and his goby in QT for it.
I expect to have trouble for the next few years as I tend to learn things the hard way.
This is the 29g today, it still has along way to go, but keep in mind that it's been through a lot since I adopted it from an acquaintance 15 months ago.

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*edited to add the pic I forgot* :p
 
@Valkyrie, it's definitely tough to lose all the time and money we've spent. Very frustrating to spend months of time on something to see it withered away in a day or two. I've got a long road ahead of me and while I may never see the stunning dream nano tank worthy of TOTM like I planned, I have to look ahead to my 80 gallon setup that I've been working on for 15 months.
I was really looking forward to going to reef a Palooza with a stable tank at home but it looks like this trip will be spectating only while my tank is in the hospital.
 
*stunned look*
That can be done?
You can bring them back?

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Yeah those extremely bleach from a LFS who willing to trade it for my big matt of. Green star polyps. Took me about a mont of two to get it back to health.
 
@Valkyrie, it's definitely tough to lose all the time and money we've spent. Very frustrating to spend months of time on something to see it withered away in a day or two. I've got a long road ahead of me and while I may never see the stunning dream nano tank worthy of TOTM like I planned, I have to look ahead to my 80 gallon setup that I've been working on for 15 months.
I was really looking forward to going to reef a Palooza with a stable tank at home but it looks like this trip will be spectating only while my tank is in the hospital.

Get a coral QT going, a 10g-20g with a great light, a mech filter, a heater, 2 medium sized pieces of live rock, and a skimmer. Get some Dr. Tim's and get that bad boy running. Put nothing alive in it except the live rock until it's pristine and stable. My mistake was not waiting long enough.
 
I was browsing through threads the other day and I came across a post "..one tank crash can make someone leave the hobby for good..", I skimmed by it and thought, my tank crashed before and I got through it! Over the last 7-8 months I've developed a pretty successful SPS dominated nano tank, I had beautiful coralline algae encrusting and several of my sticks were really starting to color up and encrust the rock, I was so proud and started to finally regain confidence in my reef keeping abilities. I had several frags in racks stuck to the glass and really needed a new rock to stick them too, I had a section in my tank that would look great for a home for a good chunk of live rock and my frags. So I set off in search of the perfect piece of LR, I know my system was crazy sensitive due to its size and contents so I wanted to be very picky about the place I would purchase this rock from. I traveled an hour away to a very reputable fish and coral store that we all know and love! They steered me towards a piece of Man Made rock, it was perfect! I stared at it for awhile and decided I'd take it home, longer story short I glued all my frags to it and it looked great!
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If I dare say, I was finally happy with the way my tank looked and could start to sit back and enjoy watching it grow after almost a year of hard work!

After about 3 days I could tell something was wrong, my red setosa which is normally a deep red was starting to look almost translucent and pink! I tested my water and ALK SPIKE from 8.5 to 11-12 was the only thing different than my normal parameters. The next day, my red monti was doing the same, the next day greens and vivid blues were all muted paled versions of themselves. So I did a water change and now it would seem everything is back to normal as far as water parameters go. However I've suffered great loss in colors in 85% of my sps but the whole tank has taken a hard hit .

Months and months of hard work gone down the drain, I feel like giving up and smashing my tank. It's crazy how depressed this has made me, everything I worked for is gone, money spent, time spent GONE!

Please I need someone to make me feel like I still have a fighting chance.
Oh it happens bud! No stress should be givin, it happens to everyone. Although its discouraging, and could possibly lead to bad decisions, itll still take some time for stuff to recover.

Just make sure stuff isnt dieng, and test that alk everyday every other day when adding new sps. Because you can run yourself some problems from that alone
 
Oh it happens bud! No stress should be givin, it happens to everyone. Although its discouraging, and could possibly lead to bad decisions, itll still take some time for stuff to recover.

Just make sure stuff isnt dieng, and test that alk everyday every other day when adding new sps. Because you can run yourself some problems from that alone

Thanks man, I just hope none of them actually die off, and they can be salvaged.
 
+1 that's a huge swing up and down in alkalinity and things may get worse before they get better. Keep testing alk daily as others have said as your demand will likely drop from ticked off acros. Things will bounce back with stable parameters :).

Acros humble even the best coral keepers in time.
 
I had a major crash starting in min October 16 and finally got things under control by the end of December. I lost a ton of coral, and I was just depressed. The interesting part if found was corals that I thought were totally dead are coming back. Hence my new rule with corals "if it looks dead, give it a month before a pull it out of the tank".:D Your parameter look good and it will just take a few month to come back.
 
NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dang man.

really sorry to hear.. (I say that because its a family friendly site and I just cursed like a sailor for you)

Lemmie go back and read the rest of the thread. &$(*&^%*$&%)*&%&^%#*&^%(*&^)(!!!
 
Powerful words! Thank you :) feeling better already, I check out your thread and wow! It really blew a hole, makes me feel like I'm not so bad off. Sorry that happened to you.
The good news is my fish were already in quarantine, my wife felt so bad for me she didn't mind me buying a trigger sump! Just waiting for it to come in. It literally sounded like a gun shot!
 
NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Dang man.

really sorry to hear.. (I say that because its a family friendly site and I just cursed like a sailor for you)

Lemmie go back and read the rest of the thread. &$(*&^%*$&%)*&%&^%#*&^%(*&^)(!!!

I know man, it's killing me. Never thought this would happen, and that's the problem.
 
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This is my tank in mid november 2016 with my crashed. Its a peninsula tank and you cant even see the other side. Lost 2 colony and verthing else brown out.
 
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This is my tank in mid november 2016 with my crashed. Its a peninsula tank and you cant even see the other side. Lost 2 colony and verthing else brown out.

Oh man! Dude..Idk how you ever stayed in the hobby after that. That's crazy! Although you may just be a hero to persevere through that!
 
Have you tested your K? Dosing Potassium nitrate raised K in my 38g to 460 ppm and rising after 4 months. I switched to NaNo3, which is also food grade and not subject to being a source of impurities like KNO3, assuming that you're using stump remover.
 
Have you tested your K? Dosing Potassium nitrate raised K in my 38g to 460 ppm and rising after 4 months. I switched to NaNo3, which is also food grade and not subject to being a source of impurities like KNO3, assuming that you're using stump remover.

I have not tested potassium, I dose very little KNO3 and do water changes every week so idk if that would happen in mine, but it's worth checking into I suppose. A friend of mine told me he started dosing CaNo3 and I was interested in that as a substitute No3 dose. I'll look into the sodium nitrate as well. Thanks
 
Wow! The support from you all has been amazing! R2R is definitely a family and I truly appreciate everyone here, you've all helped me see the light at the end of the tunnel in this endeavor. Hearing your stories and seeing you persevere through your crashes has given me the strength to keep on going. Thank you so much!
 
Pre crash
9/17/16
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Beginning of the end 10/30/16
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12/19/16
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4/15/17
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IF YOU HAD TO TAKE A REEFING EXAM, WOULD YOU PASS?

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