I'm going to jump in on this statement. Why do you lower them once you notice they are stressed? I feel that continuing to move them once they are stressed is creating your issue. SPS are not as fragile as people think. They can adapt to crazy changes if given the time. The problem is when too much changes at once or continues to change. I feel that the best thing to do is to leave the frag alone and give it a chance to adjust. If after a month it continues to be unhappy, THEN move the frag. I honestly believe this to be true not just with SPS but most corals.
Also, I feel that you're being too par shy. You gotta remember some people keep SPS over 500 par. SPS can handle lots of light. But no where do I see any mention of the PAR that the frags have come from. My number one question when buying frags is, what PAR are you keeping them at? This way when I get home, I know where about to place the frag in my tank based upon my PAR map. If you take a frag that's happily growing in 200PAR and place it in 300PAR, yes chances are that you'll cause enough stress to kill it. The same is true in reverse though usually not as severe. If you take a frag that was happy in 300 par and put it under 250 par, after an acclimation period, I'm sure it will continue to be happy and grow. But if you take a frag that was grown under 400PAR and put it under 150 PAR, you're likely going to stress the coral out and kill it that way. With how cautious you are with PAR I have a suspicion that this is part of what's going on. The solution is to know what kind of par the frag is coming from so that you can match your own par and placement as closely as possible. If you can come within 5-10% of what it previously was growing under, the coral shouldn't see much if any stress of change in light. Only, the stress due to travel. When buying from a LFS, I find no need to "acclimate" my frags to my lighting, again, as long as I know I'm placing it in about the same par it was growing in at the store.