Sarah, I've been through my share, not as bad as you at the moment, but plenty in my 56 years of life.
So, here's some stories.......
I broke my leg at a BMX race In Tulsa Oklahoma when I was young. Broke my tibia on my left leg in four places. Hey, if your going to break it, break it real good, right!? When they were transporting me to the hospital, the pain was terrible and they gave me a shot. I instantly felt better and was hungry. I asked the emt's if we could go through the drive thru at Burger King so I could get a Whopper before we got to the emergency room. They laughed and said "we are hungry too, but no, not a good idea"! Oh well, I tried! Lol
Next, last year I was diagnosed with heart failure. Don't worry, I've improved since. It's the meds and my "Never surrender" attitude! (And "God's not done with me" which is probably the reason) was at 10% now I'm at 40% and improving. Don't need to see my cardiologist but once a year now!
They made a decision to put a implant pacemaker/defibrillator on me back then. Went into surgery and while under I woke up! Everyone yelling "Don, don't move! We are in your heart right now!" I said "Okay, but I can feel everything, can you put me back under?", They say "Nope, can do that!"
I stayed awake during the rest of the surgery, 1 and a half hours, talking to the surgical team about keeping a reef tank and the hobby! Oh, and my wife, kids and grandkids! Lol I got high fives from all the team for doing so well! Hey like I was going anywhere at the time! Lol
You may feel down at times, I know. it's normal, but kiddo, never surrender! You are young and have so much life to live! So many around you that love you and you have so many stores to tell your grandkids one day!
Hang in there and rest, heal and keep your head up! All of us are praying for you! God hears our prayers!