Why do people leave the hobby

[jdiefenbaugh]

Some people have kids, some move and can't take their tanks with, some have a crash and don't want to keep doing it. I recently came back after a 7 year break, but when I got out I had been working at a public aquarium for 6 years, was working fish store retail on and off (maintaining the entire department), and running a maintenance business myself on and off. Needless to say, I was burned the f*%& out with fish and needed a break. Best thing I ever did, in all honesty.

 

[garyfri]

Tbh I'd like to believe for most reefers reading forums reduces anxiety, not increases. You get to read all these experiences of other reefers and realize they've made the same mistakes you have. They've had the same ups and downs. Perspective gained is invaluable.

I am the same way. I find reading this to help. But sometimes I see his point. Reading 186 pages on algae almost made me try the vodka method (and i don't mean the aquarium).

 

[ThePickeledReef]

I haven’t had a tank for past 7 years, but was always really into the hobby. I was moving just about every two years and having knowledge and being aware of what it would take knowing I would move again kept me form setting up anything. In that time however I watched a lot of BRS tv and YouTube videos, visited local fish stores, and went to aquariums.
We are finally in a home we plan to stay in for awhile and just started building my system.

 

[Cell]

I am the same way. I find reading this to help. But sometimes I see his point. Reading 186 pages on algae almost made me try the vodka method (and i don't mean the aquarium).

Down the rabbit hole you go. But really, that's the internet for you. If it wasn't reefing it would something else I'm sure.

 

[Casket_Case]

Sometimes people have babies too

 

[Ryan Satow]

It’s getting very expensive

 

[vetteguy53081]

Impulse
lack of time
Money/costs
Loss in interest
Divorce
Moving
Addition of baby or pet to the family
Lack of patience leaving a person discouraged.
** High prices driven by vendors who can make this hobby UNAFFORDABLE

 

[Steph72]

That is the truth. I research everything i can before I purchase. My wife likes my fish, but does not do anything to help or learn. So on fathers day she went to the LFS and they talked her into buying a twin spot goby and another BTA. ERRRRRRR.
I have been trying everything to make sure my twin goby is good and I hope with my tank 1 1/2 years old he has enough to eat. He wont do pellets and a lot of people say they don't eat pods. still alive and looks healthy, but talk about the concern.

Oh no! It was a sweet thought on her part but definitely an added stress factor. When I had cichlids I always looked forward to getting a new fish and pretty much knew what to expect but saltwater is soooo different! (Why does everything have to be picky, aggressive or poisonous?!) I hope your little goby does ok, it’s so stressful trying to ensure that these little critters stay healthy.

 

[JCTReefer]

My wife. Always nagging. Jeff, you’re obsessed with the tank. How much have you spent on this new tank? Well, I pay all the bills, so does it’s really matter. She’ll say, All you care about is that dang tank. She’s gonna love this new build. Divorce may be coming soon. She married me 15 years ago and I had a tank back then. Babies were born and that tank came down. New tank got purchased 3 years and is still up and running. She’s been complaining about that for roughly 3 years also. She’s really gonna hate when the 210 goes up. That may sound selfish, but there’s details that can’t be discussed in this thread. I think people get burned out also. Or give up fighting things like the dreaded dinos or have algae issues that can’t easily be fixed. Some people move a lot and that can be challenging. Let’s face it, this hobby isn’t hands free and can be very time consuming. You still got make time for your loved ones, but should be able to enjoy it also. I think once you get the bug, you never loose the desire. You may take a break, but it just sucks you back in.

 

[Kryptonian]

My wife. Always nagging. Jeff, you’re obsessed with the tank. How much have you spent on this new tank? Well, I pay all the bills, so does it’s really matter. She’ll say, All you care about is that dang tank. She’s gonna love this new build. Divorce may be coming soon. She married me 15 years ago and I had a tank back then. Babies were born and that tank came down. New tank got purchased 3 years and is still up and running. She’s been complaining about that for roughly 3 years also. She’s really gonna hate when the 210 goes up. That may sound selfish, but there’s details that can’t be discussed in this thread. I think people get burned out also. Or give up fighting things like the dreaded dinos or have algae issues that can’t easily be fixed. Some people move a lot and that can be challenging. Let’s face it, this hobby isn’t hands free and can be very time consuming. You still got make time for your loved ones, but should be able to enjoy it also. I think once you get the bug, you never loose the desire. You may take a break, but it just sucks you back in.

Hi Jeff! Jeff here.. I agree that fighting issues can be a major burden and burn people out. I'm not very experienced and doing my best to avoid situations like this arising (though enjoying R2R has made me all the more aware that those issues are basically inevitable and I need to be ready when they occur). Use the force and convince your wife that the next tank is actually her tank and she's just keeping you happy so you'll take care of it . (we all dream of this situation, though that's my situation)

Personally, I went from 0 gallons of tank to 260 (across two tanks) very quickly! I like to think I'm an extremely quick learner and can use problem solving skills to my reefing advantage. One thing I've already learned is that these things take time and energy and require passion. Time, energy, and passion all come at a cost to something else in our lives. To return to the purpose of the thread, I think some of the main reasons I would leave the hobby is a major tank failure that I'm unable to recover from, maybe a move into a new home, or life events with my kids. They're 1 and 8 so we're just getting started with driving them around town all day.

Enjoying the thread, thanks!

 

[garyfri]

Impulse
lack of time
Money/costs
Loss in interest
Divorce
Moving
Addition of baby or pet to the family
Lack of patience leaving a person discouraged.
** High prices driven by vendors who can make this hobby UNAFFORDABLE

I hear you there. but divorce I am keeping the aquarium she can keep the pension and kids. I would put gold fish in there before I let it go lol. The vendor thing is another post for sure. I mean they refine a DYI and charge SO much sometimes. Getting back into I was shocked at the sticker price of LED lights. Did a lot of research to find out what the big deal is that makes them that so expensive.

 

[garyfri]

Hi Jeff! Jeff here.. I agree that fighting issues can be a major burden and burn people out. I'm not very experienced and doing my best to avoid situations like this arising (though enjoying R2R has made me all the more aware that those issues are basically inevitable and I need to be ready when they occur). Use the force and convince your wife that the next tank is actually her tank and she's just keeping you happy so you'll take care of it . (we all dream of this situation, though that's my situation)

Personally, I went from 0 gallons of tank to 260 (across two tanks) very quickly! I like to think I'm an extremely quick learner and can use problem solving skills to my reefing advantage. One thing I've already learned is that these things take time and energy and require passion. Time, energy, and passion all come at a cost to something else in our lives. To return to the purpose of the thread, I think one of the main reasons I would leave the hobby is a major tank failure that I'm unable to recover from, maybe a move into a new home, or life events with my kids. They're 1 and 8 so we're just getting started with driving them around town all day.

Enjoying the thread, thanks!

@JCTReefer I got a 200 gallon and my wife was ok with it (I think it was guilt thing because I let her contract to get a pool) but when I told her I would need a QT tank because I wasn't going to kill everything for 1 addition I think she was planning to put a pillow on my head. Luckly I think I found a resolution before it came to that and told her I can most likely trade the 75 gallon for an AIO 20 gallon or something. I have even made it "her decision" if she wants the cheap Home Depot PVC or the nice stuff (of course I showed her the grungiest home depot one I could find). we will see what other cost a 200 gallon I am risking my life for lol.

 

[sixline]

It's very expensive, although I don't think that's the reason people leave the hobby as people do other very expensive things alls the time. I think the number one reason is lack of success - there are a lot of things that can go wrong.

 

[garyfri]

Oh no! It was a sweet thought on her part but definitely an added stress factor. When I had cichlids I always looked forward to getting a new fish and pretty much knew what to expect but saltwater is soooo different! (Why does everything have to be picky, aggressive or poisonous?!) I hope your little goby does ok, it’s so stressful trying to ensure that these little critters stay healthy.

I was trying to avoid the two spots goby and the copper band because of how hard they can be.

 

[hllb]

2 kids under 2...now that they’re 15 and 16 (plus a 10 yr old), I’m back.

 

[DSEKULA]

I feel like there are a few main reasons. When some start and quit really quick I feel like most didn't realize the time and effort it takes to reach their end goal, if they researched more up front maybe this wouldn't be the case. When a long time reefer gets out (someone who will probably start again later) it's generally bc their life isn't stable enough to keep a reef stable for some reason (moving, kids, work, etc). As adults our hobbies also get put on hold for financial reasons. Those are the main ones I can think of.

 

[sawdonkey]

It’s easy to love the hobby when things are going well. BUT, this hobby is constant ups and downs and just because your tank is good today, doesn’t mean it will be good tomorrow. That’s part of the fun. But, after doing this for 20 years, I could see the upside of not dealing with the tank. It’s a lot. , but what else am I going to do....watch a bunch of TV?

Tbh I'd like to believe for most reefers reading forums reduces anxiety, not increases. You get to read all these experiences of other reefers and realize they've made the same mistakes you have. They've had the same ups and downs. Perspective gained is invaluable.

I wouldn’t say that the forum reduces anxiety for me, but it surely keeps me interested in the hobby. When I lose interest, the tank suffers, and when the tank is looking bad, I lose more interest. After my house fire that destroyed my tank in 2017, I couldn’t bring myself to even look at the forums.

 

[Wildreefs]

Tbh I'd like to believe for most reefers reading forums reduces anxiety, not increases. You get to read all these experiences of other reefers and realize they've made the same mistakes you have. They've had the same ups and downs. Perspective gained is invaluable.

It absolutely adds to it. It’s like a train wreck, painful to watch, but you must stop and see it.

Some of the advice on here is laughable , especially when reading someone’s post and all but 3 months before they were giving said advice they were asking how to cycle a tank.

Then you have the 2 cent crowd. They somehow find themselves relevant to chime in on and every post. Kinda like the parents waiting at a bus stop.

The for sale posts are quite nauseating to. Charging 10x the amount for a green acros they tied a action hero movie name to.

What’s worst is the Facebook groups. Was always under the impression that there was no such thing as a dumb question in life, and then that group came along.

And lastly, there’s the country club fellows who must advertise to the audience their spends purchases. King angel, peppermint angel, purple monster bounce, etc etc.

Kinda gives them an audience the my beg to have at home but no one cares

 

[Wildreefs]

Impulse
lack of time
Money/costs
Loss in interest
Divorce
Moving
Addition of baby or pet to the family
Lack of patience leaving a person discouraged.
** High prices driven by vendors who can make this hobby UNAFFORDABLE

Yes, for sure high vendor cost. When I imported fish couple years ago and saw the prices in fish ($1.50 lyretails, 12 dollar regal angels, $21 naso tangs) I quickly stopped support my local tank me to the cleaners fish store. Or when I see someone take down there rank and hand over corals to fish store for free , and they hack up these free colonies into frags (they have to in order to dip out some of the algae and aptasia) and sell that coral for $500 in frags they just had dropped off to them, with god knows how many worms on it.

 

[JJ Ligs]

Personally I think a big issue is that people want that instant success. You see a well established reef tank and people think it gets that way in a month. Then we have LFS which are hurting for money and put making a sale over teaching proper husbandry which causes people to load a tank that has not fully cycled and established with fish and coral. Then the tank will hit its next stage and be covered in algae sending them back to the same store for a quick fix that tends to kill off coral or fish. This is a huge blow for a new reefer not to mention a huge hit to the bank account. The other issue is the compulsory need to add no one wants to wait and not add nonstop. You have people tripling bioload every week which is bound to toss things out of wack and when you are not knowledgeable enough it can be impossible to pull up in that type of nosedive. I have almost quit because I hate when things in my care die, no matter the reason I feel horrible that a life was lost because I wanted it in a box that is the gut punch that gets me.