Sorry to see about your troubles. Reefing can seem very overwhelming at times. For me, it is a lifestyle, not a hobby. I literally don't have any other hobbies or toys, so I am successful because of that.
If you have a very busy lifestyle, and not a lot of free time, reefing might not be right for you at this time. However, the problems you describe can be fixed, and I suggest finding someone local to you that can come over and help, if you choose to continue. Find someone whose tank you like, and do what they do. Either way, I wish you well, and am always willing to help via pm or on the boards.