Fear of judgement?

[EeyoreIsMySpiritAnimal]

I'm sure I was one of those people that asked something similar. Getting a new tank but not knowing anything about (good) lights, wanting to succeed, and after a ton of research, I still had/have questions. I just ask a few people privately whom I trust and have helped.

I don't mean to say that asking "beginner" questions is a bad thing; but super-broad open-ended questions without providing any other information leaves the door open for all kinds of answers and speculation.

 

[jasonrusso]

Those who post with such absolute certainty should be most fearful of judgement and skepticism.

As I say at work, if I give you an answer, it is because I know it to be correct. If I don't know for a fact, I will not answer it or I will add "as far as I know, or in my experience."

 

[KQuillan]

Beautiful green wing!

Thank you, Oh My Gosh, a Too!!!

 

[tigre44]

Many things are old 1990’s for my system as well .
Old t5 fixture I built .with
nothing automated and still using the peg style timers for lights .

I have some of those a t-12 fixture with mh bulb single end and cfl bulb for night it’s on my frag tank still works great. Learn hard way about check valves long before this forum existed. Almost burned the house down. Now I use a t5 with mh and led night light.

 

[Neem_OH]

Does anyone else get scared to ask certain questions about problems they are facing because of the fear of judgement?

No one should ever be scared to be judged ased on a question. These forums should be considered a brother hood of reefers on many different levels. We all started somewhere and all needed help at sometime or another. Its only fair to be helpfull to one another and spread the knowledge we all have.

 

[Miami Reef]

Thank you, Oh My Gosh, a Too!!!

I’m a conure guy. I had a sun conure who was my favorite bird I ever had.

 

[Struggle]

I’m a conure guy. I had a sun conure who was my favorite bird I ever had.

Always wanted a sun conure.

 

[KQuillan]

They are extremely loud.
It's been fun meeting so many people on the forum that has birds.

 

[Jay Hemdal Verified Community Expert]

I’m a conure guy. I had a sun conure who was my favorite bird I ever had.

I had a maroon bellied for years, I liked it because it was quiet. I worked at a pet store at the time, and I didn't want to hear any more squawking when I got home from work!

Jay

 

[Randy Holmes-Farley Verified Community Expert]

I'm also hesitant to answer sometimes, because no matter how sure you are correct about something, there is someone who is going to argue with you.

While I certainly try to encourage everyone to participate as much as they want, I'd like to provide some counterbalance to that comment:

1. It is to be expected that folks will argue in a complicated hobby with lots of different approaches when the answers are not simple facts, but rather the questions are asking for opinions.
Is this OK?
How should I ...?
Do I need to...?
Will this work?
What is the best way to...?

2. There are also actual wrong answers posted by people who think they are right. These are not typically opinion questions but are fact questions. They may think they are right for many good reasons (manufacturer claim, it worked for them, they read it elsewhere, etc.), and yet they are not. If these wrong answers are left unchallenged, others will quickly "learn" the wrong answers and quick as a whistle, the hobby has some new misinformation spreading through it. I make these sorts of challenges a lot, and I definitely understand that many folks are not happy to see such a challenge. Nevertheless, I feel it is more desirable to do, than not. I try to always make the challenge about the facts and not the person, but not everyone takes it that way, especially if they are corrected multiple times on the same subject.

 

[Jay Hemdal Verified Community Expert]

While I certainly try to encourage everyone to participate as much as they want, I'd like to provide some counterbalance to that comment:

1. It is to be expected that folks will argue in a complicated hobby with lots of different approaches when the answers are not simple facts, but rather the questions are asking for opinions.
Is this OK?
How should I ...?
Do I need to...?
Will this work?
What is the best way to...?

2. There are actual wrong answers posted by people who think they are right. They may think they are right for many good reasons (manufacturer claim, it worked for them, they read it elsewhere, etc.), and yet they are not. If these wrong answers are left unchallenged, others will quickly "learn" the wrong answers and quick as a whistle, the hobby has some new misinformation spreading through it. I make these sorts of challenges a lot, and I definitely understand that many folks are not happy to see such a challenge. Nevertheless, I feel it is more desirable to do, than not. I try to always make the challenge about the facts and not the person, but not everyone takes it that way, especially if they are corrected multiple times on the same subject.

I was just lamenting to my wife about one example of your point #2....it has become so pervasive in the hobby for people to "soak their food in medicine and feed it to their sick fish". I cannot gain any traction on quelling that incorrect advice. I wrote articles here, and one of our Fish Medics actually made a medicated food calculator - yet people still pass that bad information around. Yes, I know it is the easy way, but it simply cannot give the proper dose, except by pure chance. It's like your physician throwing a handful of pills at you and telling you to take whatever you catch (grin).

Jay

 

[Reefer Matt Verified Media Partner]

I think you will find that even the "experts" have questions from time to time that can be answered by a beginner. The reason is, that as they advance in the hobby, they may forget the simple stuff that they used to know because the situation hasn't happened in a while. Or perhaps they were over thinking a problem. Will they ask? Maybe, Maybe not. It may depend on how much pride they have in their status.
For everyone else, questions and failure are part of how to learn. And anyone dismissing someone trying to learn shouldn't be part of a given community. Just my opinion.

 

[PandorasChalk]

I used to when I was younger and just starting out in other hobbies (axolotls, shrimp, general freshwater) because I kept running into people who were extremely rude about everything. With saltwater it's been pleasant, I've had a whole one bad interaction on R2R and it was someone getting weirdly mean over asking a tank question where no livestock was at stake. Made me and my wife laugh.

Way I see it, unlike other aquarium hobbies I'm spending big dollars on individual items in my salt tanks. I can put up with someone being a little dogmatic if it means my 100 dollar anemone is going to make it another night thanks to their help.

 

[ReefGeezer]

... There are also actual wrong answers posted by people who think they are right. These are not typically opinion questions but are fact questions. They may think they are right for many good reasons (manufacturer claim, it worked for them, they read it elsewhere, etc.), and yet they are not. If these wrong answers are left unchallenged, others will quickly "learn" the wrong answers and quick as a whistle, the hobby has some new misinformation spreading through it. I make these sorts of challenges a lot, and I definitely understand that many folks are not happy to see such a challenge. Nevertheless, I feel it is more desirable to do, than not. I try to always make the challenge about the facts and not the person, but not everyone takes it that way, especially if they are corrected multiple times on the same subject.

I've been on the other end of Randy's challenges once or twice. While being wrong is never fun, it was helpful to me and kept the community from adsorbing bad information. I never felt I was being attacked though, just corrected.

As to the OP's question... I think no one should feel they need to filter their questions. No one here is obligated to answer the question. Those who take offense to simplistic, vague, or repetitive questions don't have to answer them. R2R is a big forum. There are always some who will provide helpful and well mannered responses. It is also big enough for a few less than helpful individuals to see your post. They'll chime in also. The OP just has to learn to ignore these "Trolls".

 

[unchaotic]

Nooooo. Don’t tag Randy! He can’t see me vulnerable!

lol

If he senses weakness he may attack!

 

[KQuillan]

There was a new member yesterday that asked a question and two other members got into a 'squabble'. I felt really bad for this new member, I'm sure that is not what he expected. Thanks to @Peace River for stepping in on it.

 

[unchaotic]

I also ask them for the current and future hobbyists who are and will be looking for the answers. Remember some people will never ask a question because they won't create an account and be able to start a new thread so they are just searching. The questions asked, both big and small, will benefit everyone!

Sometimes it's helpful to make a new post just to consolidate information. I did a lot of research on adding ramping control to Viparspectra lights (on this site and several others) and using other tutorials, info, and trial and error made my own tutorial. My goal was to simplify things beyond even what I had required in hopes it could help others. I've seen links to my tutorial posted on various FB groups a few times and that makes me happy.

And honestly, it's been so long since I worked on anything like that, that I'm sure I'll need to read my own tutorial if I need to do it again.

 

[unchaotic]

There was a new member yesterday that asked a question and two other members got into a 'squabble'. I felt really bad for this new member, I'm sure that is not what he expected. Thanks to @Peace River for stepping in on it.

Was that me?

checks notes (remembers having possible mean/sarcastic thoughts but keeping them to himself)

I'm almost 99.999% sure it wasn't. But still ...

In all honesty, I have a nasty tendency to assume comments lacking context like this are about me. Maybe @Miami Reef can identify with that?

 

[alindell]

Does anyone else get scared to ask certain questions about problems they are facing because of the fear of judgement?

If you don't ask questions how are you going to learn. When I first started like 10 years ago I asked awkward questions and went to meets where I felt stupid, but who cares. Just keep learning and enjoying the hobby.

 

[Gumbies R Us]

There was a new member yesterday that asked a question and two other members got into a 'squabble'. I felt really bad for this new member, I'm sure that is not what he expected. Thanks to @Peace River for stepping in on it.

I think this is a common thing to happen on just about any website you go to. A new person asks a question, 2 people with conflicting ideas suggest something, both members get into an argument leaving the new guy confused even more haha