Fear of judgement?

[Sink_or_Swim]

This is what I was referring to in my OP! You understood me!

I get you. I'm dealing with this currently... and unfortunately my stupid mistake cost me the lives of a bunch of my fish. I went against my better judgement and paid for it. I'm glad that even though you hesitated to ask for help here, that you figured out what to do before it caused a catastrophe in your tank.

 

[Sink_or_Swim]

Being the owner of R2R and the fact that I've been in the hobby for so long has kept me from posting some questions in the past. YES I know, it shouldn't matter! For the most part though I have just laid down my pride and asked the questions that need to be asked. I also ask them for the current and future hobbyists who are and will be looking for the answers. Remember some people will never ask a question because they won't create an account and be able to start a new thread so they are just searching. The questions asked, both big and small, will benefit everyone!

I really appreciate the questions you pose to the group, and the education it provides. We're all always learning and reflecting on our experience with those discussions can be very insightful.

 

[nuxx Verified Sponsor]

Not really, any question / problem you've had, a bunch of other people have had.

I think the longer my tank was up and the more I thought I had learned about the hobby the less likely I was to ask questions, just because I knew the answers I'd get back most of the times.

When my tank had unexplained small fish deaths and everything checked out from the water to disease, I started asking questions again, but we really never figured everything out and tried all the good suggestions. Then I just shut the tank down out of fear of the rarer fish not making it, even though they seemed 1000% healthy. (Probably aggression taking a step and looking back)

 

[Gp!]

Does anyone else get scared to ask certain questions about problems they are facing because of the fear of judgement?

One person can't know everything. Never be ashamed to learn something new or ask questions! It's worse to act like you know when you don't - then something bad usually happens

 

[KQuillan]

When I first joined, I was a bit hesitant, but then I just watched the questions and responses and who was giving them. Then I just asked a question, got some answers, got comfortable, met some online friends and am glad I am part of R2R. There are a lot of knowledgeable people here.

 

[Daniel@R2R Verified Admin]

I'll say that this issue is what actually brought me to Reef2Reef back 10 years ago. I was just starting in the reef hobby, and I had tried to get involved on a couple of sites, but found that they absolutely bludgeoned me for my beginner questions. I was informed that I should learn to use the "search function" or that I should "try Google." The issue was that being new with ZERO background in aquariums, I didn't even know what the right questions were or how to determine if what I was searching for was really going to help me. That's when I found R2R!! This community is one that has time after time walked with me through my "stupid questions" regardless of how rudimentary they were. It's true that not everyone here is as patient as I wish, but overwhelmingly, this is a community that tries to treat others with kindness and respect. That's why I stay here! That's why I love being part of this community!! You all have created a place where hobbyists of all levels can ask questions without being blasted.*

*It's true we're not perfect as a community, and at times some of us aren't as kind as we ought to be. If this happens, it is on us as a community to model kindness and call one another back to the values of this community! We want to be a place where hobbyists of all backgrounds and experience levels can ask questions and get answers without being made to feel foolish for asking.

 

[KQuillan]

I'll say that this issue is what actually brought me to Reef2Reef back 10 years ago. I was just starting in the reef hobby, and I had tried to get involved on a couple of sites, but found that they absolutely bludgeoned me for my beginner questions. I was informed that I should learn to use the "search function" or that I should "try Google." The issue was that being new with ZERO background in aquariums, I didn't even know what the right questions were or how to determine if what I was searching for was really going to help me. That's when I found R2R!! This community is one that has time after time walked with me through my "stupid questions" regardless of how rudimentary they were. It's true that not everyone here is as patient as I wish, but overwhelmingly, this is a community that tries to treat others with kindness and respect. That's why I stay here! That's why I love being part of this community!! You all have created a place where hobbyists of all levels can ask questions without being blasted.*

*It's true we're not perfect as a community, and at times some of us aren't as kind as we ought to be. If this happens, it is on us as a community to model kindness and call one another back to the values of this community! We want to be a place where hobbyists of all backgrounds and experience levels can ask questions and get answers without being made to feel foolish for asking.

This!

 

[DannoOMG]

I feel bad asking for help cause I don't really have anything to offer in return.

I wish I had answers to help people but I don't. I just leech off of this forum. Even though I have been in this hobby for 3 years now going between my tank and the office tank I still feel like I know nothing.

 

[jasonrusso]

I don't ask questions because people often won't answer them. If you say you already did something, then they are quick to jump on you saying you did it wrong. I'm also hesitant to answer sometimes, because no matter how sure you are correct about something, there is someone who is going to argue with you.

 

[KQuillan]

I don't ask questions because people often won't answer them. If you say you already did something, then they are quick to jump on you saying you did it wrong. I'm also hesitant to answer sometimes, because no matter how sure you are correct about something, there is someone who is going to argue with you.

I have noticed this a lot.

 

[jasonrusso]

I'll say that this issue is what actually brought me to Reef2Reef back 10 years ago. I was just starting in the reef hobby, and I had tried to get involved on a couple of sites, but found that they absolutely bludgeoned me for my beginner questions. I was informed that I should learn to use the "search function" or that I should "try Google." The issue was that being new with ZERO background in aquariums, I didn't even know what the right questions were or how to determine if what I was searching for was really going to help me. That's when I found R2R!! This community is one that has time after time walked with me through my "stupid questions" regardless of how rudimentary they were. It's true that not everyone here is as patient as I wish, but overwhelmingly, this is a community that tries to treat others with kindness and respect. That's why I stay here! That's why I love being part of this community!! You all have created a place where hobbyists of all levels can ask questions without being blasted.*

*It's true we're not perfect as a community, and at times some of us aren't as kind as we ought to be. If this happens, it is on us as a community to model kindness and call one another back to the values of this community! We want to be a place where hobbyists of all backgrounds and experience levels can ask questions and get answers without being made to feel foolish for asking.

This is true. The only caveat I will say to this is about equipment. I sometimes say to "read the manual." Not to be a jerk, but because I know the answer is in there and if you read it you will learn not just that, but likely more about the operation!!

 

[BroccoliFarmer]

I don't ask questions because people often won't answer them. If you say you already did something, then they are quick to jump on you saying you did it wrong. I'm also hesitant to answer sometimes, because no matter how sure you are correct about something, there is someone who is going to argue with you.

I hate asking questions becuase the number chasers come out in force.

1: ‘Are radions better lights than noopsyches?’
2:’ cant answer until I know your parameters’
1: My parameters are xxx
2: ‘you alk is 0.01 dkh too high and you phosphate is 0.02 too low. You should worry about these before you start worrying about your lights’

 

[jhuntstl]

I have admittedly become a bit cynical of this forum. I generally don't come here for direct advice, but I do search old threads or PM those who I trust. Asking a question and getting advice from the masses can be overwhelming with the different responses. And as mentioned can often result in ridiculous arguments.

If I respond to your thread, you should question it. I'm a freakin idiot and I may have had a few too many beers.

Those who post with such absolute certainty should be most fearful of judgement and skepticism.

 

[EeyoreIsMySpiritAnimal]

I hate asking questions becuase the number chasers come out in force.

1: ‘Are radions better lights than noopsyches?’
2:’ cant answer until I know your parameters’
1: My parameters are xxx
2: ‘you alk is 0.01 dkh too high and you phosphate is 0.02 too low. You should worry about these before you start worrying about your lights’

(It's funny because it's true)

 

[EeyoreIsMySpiritAnimal]

I hate asking questions becuase the number chasers come out in force.

1: ‘Are radions better lights than noopsyches?’
2:’ cant answer until I know your parameters’
1: My parameters are xxx
2: ‘you alk is 0.01 dkh too high and you phosphate is 0.02 too low. You should worry about these before you start worrying about your lights’

To be fair though, ‘Are radions better lights than noopsyches?’ is just asking for a bunch of not so useful information...

 

[jhuntstl]

I hate asking questions becuase the number chasers come out in force.

1: ‘Are radions better lights than noopsyches?’
2:’ cant answer until I know your parameters’
1: My parameters are xxx
2: ‘you alk is 0.01 dkh too high and you phosphate is 0.02 too low. You should worry about these before you start worrying about your lights’

But what are your parameters?

 

[BroccoliFarmer]

To be fair though, ‘Are radions better lights than noopsyches?’ is just asking for a bunch of not so useful information...

Without a doubt but I could see a true budget conscious newbie asking that question. (Heck I think I did when I was new after I won NPs shortly after I bought second hand radions).

 

[Garf]

But what are your parameters?

6’ 2”, 240lbs, big fists

 

[KQuillan]

Without a doubt but I could see a true budget conscious newbie asking that question. (Heck I think I did when I was new after I won NPs shortly after I bought second hand radions).

I'm sure I was one of those people that asked something similar. Getting a new tank but not knowing anything about (good) lights, wanting to succeed, and after a ton of research, I still had/have questions. I just ask a few people privately whom I trust and have helped.

 

[BirdFish5000]

I'm sure I was one of those people that asked something similar. Getting a new tank but not knowing anything about (good) lights, wanting to succeed, and after a ton of research, I still had/have questions. I just ask a few people privately whom I trust and have helped.

Beautiful green wing!