How did you convince your spouse???

corey.nolta · Jan 24, 2017

Looking to keep busy the rest of this winter and have been researching the past month on the possibility of doing a plywood build. Would be an upgrade from a 90 to a ~220. I'd love the extra amount of aquarium space, and I have the perfect spot in my office (which I spend a good amount of time in when I'm home).

The hardest part of this build is going to be convincing the other half to allow it to happen. So my question is this...How did you convince your spouse to let you do a large project?

ReeferMaddness843 · Jan 24, 2017

Ah the fun part. Long story short I told my wife a friend was giving me a tank a little larger than the 29 cube I had...... Then showed up with a 90 gallon tank, stand, and canopy. Haha. Forgiveness not permission. It's the only way! Lol. I'm lucky. I've got a good one that puts up with my shenanigans.

corey.nolta · Jan 24, 2017

I would totally do that if I was getting a new tank / stand set up. I've used that philosophy numerous times before

One to definitely live by! But that would be a littler trickier to do with an entire build from the ground up. I have a feeling if I took the "asking for forgiveness vs permission" with this size of build, I'd be sleeping with the fish

JoshH · Jan 24, 2017

As mentioned above easier to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission

saltyfilmfolks · Jan 24, 2017

She picked out the first fish.

TonapahNorth · Jan 24, 2017

Mine got her own tank.

Ebone · Jan 24, 2017

one word! jewelry!

hybridazn · Jan 24, 2017

Best advice is to keep her involved. Let her have a say in some fish/corals that will go in the tank. That usually helps a lot

corey.nolta · Jan 24, 2017

I have tried a few of the above mentioned ideas. When I upgraded to my 90 I gave her full run of the 55 gallon. She turned it into a freshwater and picked out a few fish and then did nothing with it. Ended up being my second tank. She's just not big on the whole fish tanks. I could MAYBE do some convincing if I were to get another carpet nem. We had one for a little over a year before it cozied up to a heater and it was her favorite thing ever. I just don't know if I want a carpet nem in the new tank. Looks like the forgiveness route will be the way to go

JaimeAdams · Jan 25, 2017

I gave the wife a 180 for her puffer fish and all the other things she likes that will eat my coral.

Rob Lion · Jan 25, 2017

it's easy.... just say this to her...

"Honey, i'm getting older.... and I will have a mid life crisis at some point.... what would you prefer I do...."

a) I get an expensive sports car
b) I chase after younger women
c) I get a big reef tank

johntdaballa · Jan 25, 2017

Brought her to the LFS and she was impressed. Much rather me get into this hobby than my previous........

Baby Ray · Jan 25, 2017

Well, considering I'm only 14 I didn't have this problem but I did have to convince my parents.

Basically, I did a lot of research and did a lot of around the house chores for 2 years and my mom finally gave in. My dad was all for it in the beginning which helped

Zoaeasy · Jan 25, 2017

Started slow and small and she did not notice, then I build her a seahorse tank and now she is hooked looking forward to go the the LFS and building bigger tanks!

Klwheat · Jan 25, 2017

Just ordered my 180 to replace my 90. The corals have grown so much (all from frags) that they're growing into each other and shadowing each other. It's "my" new tank, but she's picking the corals to stock it

Benders Bay · Jan 25, 2017

Had a friend who every time his wife talked about having kids got his wife a puppy.Last I saw they had 7 dogs. I would want someone who shares my passion and grounds me.

N4sty T4te · Jan 26, 2017

corey.nolta said:
Looking to keep busy the rest of this winter and have been researching the past month on the possibility of doing a plywood build. Would be an upgrade from a 90 to a ~220. I'd love the extra amount of aquarium space, and I have the perfect spot in my office (which I spend a good amount of time in when I'm home).

The hardest part of this build is going to be convincing the other half to allow it to happen. So my question is this...How did you convince your spouse to let you do a large project?

Just do it and promise to buy her a seahorse.

Oakie12 · Jan 26, 2017

ReeferMaddness843 said:
Ah the fun part. Long story short I told my wife a friend was giving me a tank a little larger than the 29 cube I had...... Then showed up with a 90 gallon tank, stand, and canopy. Haha. Forgiveness not permission. It's the only way! Lol. I'm lucky. I've got a good one that puts up with my shenanigans.

You sir, have done it the correct way!

jenjen · Jan 26, 2017

Is your current tank already in the office? If no, I would start with suggesting you would really love that. If she thinks 2 would be too much, agree - maybe you would take down the other tank after. Once she thinks that's a good idea, just start planning and part way in suggest a slightly larger tank might fit... plus you could keep costs down with the plywood build...

If the tank is already in there, start by telling her you really want to rearrange the office and move the tank. But then.. it would be way easier if you put up a new tank and took your time getting it settled before taking down the other. And if you're doing that, a little bigger would make sense right?

I'm a female reefer who has finally convinced my husband we should get a bigger sump and move it into an adjoining room to create a fish room. Presenting one idea at a time, like you JUST thought of it is key!

Good luck!

seaplane · Jan 26, 2017

When I told hubby I was going to get back into reefing, he made his usual gripe about spending too much on a hobby. I then just went and opened up his 2 overflowing gun safes and let him know I found the three new rifles he bought last week. Checkmate!