I think we all at some point deal with issues that seem terrible. I have had my tank since 2007. I went slow, read everything, and my first reef tank was awesome. I had my algae issues, bouts with aiptasias, nuisance corals that were beginner corals, bad tank mates, fluctuations in parameters, etc. etc. My worse issue to date almost made me start over.
Last year a did a re-aquascape and really killed too much of my live rock in the process. Also my parameters were outta control. My corals that were growing for years all started peeling and died over a few months. After getting things somewhat stable, it was like a re-cycle algae, diatoms etc. It was terrible and now i am anti hermit crabs so it was really hard to get rid of.
Finally beginning of this year, things were starting to look up and i changed my RO/DI source from distilled. Over a 4 month period cyano took over my tank and started choking out things. I went on a binge of corrections until i realized (and people's help here) that it was the water. 2-3 months later and my tank is the nicest it has been in a full year. Mind you i still have hair/tuff algae but my corals and fish are thriving. I even just ordered some corals...first time in a year!!
Honestly, starting over would have been ideal but i have learned alot of things along the way.
1) Appreciate when things are going good!! Even a small break out out aiptasia or hair algae is not the end of the world.
2) Water Changes are important. I truly dont care what any enthusiast/pro/god says! Things in my tank are always better after water changes.
3) Sometimes let things fix themselves. Don't freak out over numbers and drastically change things...more harm than good can happen.
4) Sometimes things just die! Zoas melt, sps recede, chalices fade...sometimes these things just happen. Don't over react unless the whole tank is showing bad signs.
5) Don't buy expensive corals or touchy corals. There have been 5 different corals that have made it through this terrible past year. Torch, Hammer, My Orange/pink Cap, Blasto’s, and Bam Bams. I just bought another cap mix (red and green) and some more zoas. I am not planning on spending a ton and probably will not deal with many sps.
6) Consistency! Water changes, dosing, husbandry!!!
7) Lastly, I am hooked and will always have some kind of saltwater tank. Even if it is just some softies, a few LPS, and mostly fish….I NEED A TANK!
Good luck with you tank problems – I truly hope you get things where you want them…because as frustrating this hobby can be…it can also be amazingly rewarding!!