My heart hurts so bad. Need support.

[tdowning]

Thank you guys so much! I’ll be honest, as a 20 year old man, I feel like I’m almost on the verge of breaking down and crying like a kid.

I really really appreciate all the responses so far. I do feel a bit better. I gave the first dose of copper. Any more stories are welcome.

Been there too my friend. I had a major ick outbreak that wiped out 80% of my livestock, almost a year ago. I thought I was going to lose a 6 year old Blue Hippo Tang and felt that extreme sadness as well. Luckily that was one of the 3 fish that survived my outbreak but I couldn't believe how sad I was at the loss of fish. My tank is back up and doing well but I'm constantly worried about the next obstacle and even though its been almost a year since that happened to me, I find myself counting my fish everyday to make sure they are all there. The best advice I can say is you are not alone as many of us have felt what you're feeling. Hang in there and take your time to (a) grieve and then (b) rebuild. We're here for you in the interim.

 

[Katrina71]

My first loss broke my heart. I cried, and will cry again.

 

[Salty Lemon]

Thank you guys so much! I’ll be honest, as a 20 year old man, I feel like I’m almost on the verge of breaking down and crying like a kid.

I really really appreciate all the responses so far. I do feel a bit better. I gave the first dose of copper. Any more stories are welcome.

You want stories to keep coming? I've got some more stories for you. This was a thread of mine a month or so ago. https://www.reef2reef.com/threads/hair-raising-horrendous-horrifying-tales-tank-crashes.538300/ . I had a tank crash once that I didn't expect. I walked by my tank and I noticed my star fish that clings to the glass had one of his arms dangling. I tested my water and it said DEATH. I lost almost everything in 24 hours. I stepped away from saltwater for a long time after that. I didn't have a forum for support and I thought of myself as a failure. Hang in there. Everything will look fabulous in your tank again. I'm so sorry this happened.

 

[cracker]

Aaaah Reef ! Sorry for the collapse of your tank. it hurts bad as well as anybody that's been keeping salts for a length of time knows . It happens to us all. I & I'm sure everybody here hopes You start again.

 

[WallyB]

Sorry to hear. Really sorry.
I know the feeling. I've experienced almost everything possible that can go bad over couple of decades of running my two Reef tanks.
Do your best, and deal with each piece one thing at a time.
Think things thru, and then before taking action, think things thru one more time. Discuss ideas with friends/forum and whoever is willing to listen. It helps to you to think out loud.
To me dealing with ill fish is the hardest thing. Any fish suffering get's to me, especially when one feel helpless/hopeless, and wants instant cures, or in the bad cases, just their death to end the misery.
I lost my Power Blue Tang that was with me for a decade. My buddy who lived thru all tank situations. I lost him, since I didn't have experience to diagnose Velvet in time. All the other fish died first, he was last, since largest and strongest.
At least you know what you have, and can start treatment....Do your best to minimize fish loss.

Fixing rocks and corals usually comes out better with rebuilds. Worry about that later, since tank recovery/rebuild come after dealing with Fish.

 

[SinCityRee4r]

just did the same thing 62 days ago. was only able to save 4 out of 15 fish [emoji20] velvet sucks!

 

[Captain Quint]

@Miami Reef I'm truly sorry and my heart honestly hurts for you.

Sending positive vibes.

 

[Miami Reef]

Thank you guys! After waking up, I feel much better and ready to take this problem down. I’m very happy the fish are still alive after the night.

 

[jd371]

Sorry for your lose, heartbreaking to go through something like this. If there's a bright side to all of this is that you have the chance now to change something that you weren't happy with before.

 

[mikenestle]

You are doing the right thing. I hope you can save your fish and your tank is better in the long run. Hang in there it can only get better from here.

 

[ngoodermuth]

Thank you guys! After waking up, I feel much better and ready to take this problem down. I’m very happy the fish are still alive after the night.

Glad they are hanging in there! You might have gotten to it just in time, sometimes even acting promptly there are losses so if something does lose the fight try not to get too discouraged. If you can save even half of your fish, with velvet, I’d consider it a great success. Velvet is a tough one...

 

[Gregg @ ADP]

Hang in there. We’ve all been in similar situations.

I work on the aquarium management side of things, with dozens of reef tanks that I take care of. Several years ago, there was a wicked thunderstorm that went through, and the area where the majority of my clients live lost power for several days.

Now, I have no way of knowing what is going on with a client tank if they don’t tell me anything. Most clients have back-up generators, but there were a few that didn’t. Rather than call me to let me know they had lost power, a few of them just headed out of town until the power came back on.

We lost 5 tanks. Smallest was 150g, biggest was 450g. Everything was dead. It was almost traumatic. Hundreds of corals, hundreds of fish, inverts, everything. It was a pretty horrific clean-up.

Great for business, terrible for the heart and soul.

 

[Goby-won]

Sorry man! I have been there...Twice! I was in tears the second time, but I persevered, gradually got the rocks where I wanted them, and started slowly adding fish back. It’s been a year since that awful few weeks, but I have come back strong and I am back on track to something I thoroughly enjoy and love to look at.

 

[Vin's Reef]

Hey guys, not so happy tonight. I have marine velvet, so I set up a 40 gal bin as a treatment tank. My tank is 300 gallons, and my initial plan was to drain the water to the bottom and scoop them up.

Well things haven’t gone as planned because some fish when under the rocks and wouldn’t come out. I had to completely destroy my amazing rock scape and damage a few corals. I didn’t set up the rocks, I had a guy do it and I’m sure he can do it again if I asked. It just hurt me so bad.

Midway through I was thinking (why am I doing this, I should just leave them to fight it on their own. At the end, I couldn’t find my medium sized powder brown fish. I lifted every last rock and found a skeleton of its corps with some of its flesh remaining. The velvet killed it that day and my CUC took care of it. That gave me encouragement.

Anyway, after getting every last fish out, I dump the rocks back in. It’s so ugly right now and I lost another fish from stress.

My floor is soaked with saltwater, and I feel very heavy in my heart right now. I put so much work, time, money, and energy in this system. We just renewed every single thing a month ago and it couldn’t of looked better...now it can’t look worse. My corals are I don’t know where and I’m just not feeling well.

I know this isn’t a therapy forum, but I kinda need some words of encouragement. I really did something I didn’t want to do, and it was (and is) very hard for me to do this big move.

Thank you for listening.

I know how you feel. I just lost all of my fish to a combo of velvet and ich. Only guys left are two wrasses, a flame hawk fish, diamond goby, and a maroon clown in his anemone. I really feel like quitting. I used to rush home to see my tank and now it’s like I’m scared of it. I spent the last two weeks in hell. Just scooping out dead friend after dead friend. It has put me in a very depressed frame of mind. I’m with you. I feel like I failed them all.

 

[Miami Reef]

I know how you feel. I just lost all of my fish to a combo of velvet and ich. Only guys left are two wrasses, a flame hawk fish, diamond goby, and a maroon clown in his anemone. I really feel like quitting. I used to rush home to see my tank and now it’s like I’m scared of it. I spent the last two weeks in hell. Just scooping out dead friend after dead friend. It has put me in a very depressed frame of mind. I’m with you. I feel like I failed them all.

Oh my god. This was the most relatable message I’ve ever read! I would itch to go home every day to see my beautiful tank, now I dread going to the living room. Even worse to the quarantine room.

 

[Troy’s Dad]

Hey guys, not so happy tonight. I have marine velvet, so I set up a 40 gal bin as a treatment tank. My tank is 300 gallons, and my initial plan was to drain the water to the bottom and scoop them up.

Well things haven’t gone as planned because some fish when under the rocks and wouldn’t come out. I had to completely destroy my amazing rock scape and damage a few corals. I didn’t set up the rocks, I had a guy do it and I’m sure he can do it again if I asked. It just hurt me so bad.

Midway through I was thinking (why am I doing this, I should just leave them to fight it on their own. At the end, I couldn’t find my medium sized powder brown fish. I lifted every last rock and found a skeleton of its corps with some of its flesh remaining. The velvet killed it that day and my CUC took care of it. That gave me encouragement.

Anyway, after getting every last fish out, I dump the rocks back in. It’s so ugly right now and I lost another fish from stress.

My floor is soaked with saltwater, and I feel very heavy in my heart right now. I put so much work, time, money, and energy in this system. We just renewed every single thing a month ago and it couldn’t of looked better...now it can’t look worse. My corals are I don’t know where and I’m just not feeling well.

I know this isn’t a therapy forum, but I kinda need some words of encouragement. I really did something I didn’t want to do, and it was (and is) very hard for me to do this big move.

Thank you for listening.

Truly sorry to hear it.

 

[YellowFinsReef]

Sorry to hear about your experience. Unfortunately, in this hobby, this is all too common and usually strikes us when least expecting. I had my 180G explode on the bottom on Friday, the 13th two years ago. Last spring, I bought a femininus wrasse and it died overnight. I was very close to giving up, but reminded myself about my progress and the investments I have already made.

Be strong. We press on.

 

[GoldeneyeRet]

Parasites suck.

 

[RtomKinMad]

Oh my god. This was the most relatable message I’ve ever read! I would itch to go home every day to see my beautiful tank, now I dread going to the living room. Even worse to the quarantine room.

I’m so sorry. We definelty know how you feel. We upgraded our 180 to a new 300, 8’ in nov to give fish a bigger better home. Spent a to. Of money on the tank and equipment and have had ammonia, ick, fin rot, now flukes. It’s a fish only so we coppered the tank. The cooper we did for 30 days. But we ened up loosing three fish to fin rot. One after the other and old adult fish. Then fri we came home to our lovely eel, Ernie gone also. Think the copper was too much for the eel. My husband use to hand fed the eel and it would swim out to greet us everyday. My husband cried when he took it out of the tank. We still have sick fish and treating with vitamins hoping they will pull through. Ick is gone, fin rot getting better, HLL not better. Flukes hopefully gone. Ened up putting Prazi in the whole 300gal after the eel died.
So I can definelty empathize with you. I can’t even look at the fish I’m so sick to my stomach that they are all sick and hurting. But we seem to be making a turn for the better after the Prazi. I really hope the rest of your fish survive. I think once you rebuild the reef you might find you like it even better! Hopefully! We wish you luck and keep us posted.

 

[Philipgonzales3]

Hey guys, not so happy tonight. I have marine velvet, so I set up a 40 gal bin as a treatment tank. My tank is 300 gallons, and my initial plan was to drain the water to the bottom and scoop them up.

Well things haven’t gone as planned because some fish when under the rocks and wouldn’t come out. I had to completely destroy my amazing rock scape and damage a few corals. I didn’t set up the rocks, I had a guy do it and I’m sure he can do it again if I asked. It just hurt me so bad.

Midway through I was thinking (why am I doing this, I should just leave them to fight it on their own. At the end, I couldn’t find my medium sized powder brown fish. I lifted every last rock and found a skeleton of its corps with some of its flesh remaining. The velvet killed it that day and my CUC took care of it. That gave me encouragement.

Anyway, after getting every last fish out, I dump the rocks back in. It’s so ugly right now and I lost another fish from stress.

My floor is soaked with saltwater, and I feel very heavy in my heart right now. I put so much work, time, money, and energy in this system. We just renewed every single thing a month ago and it couldn’t of looked better...now it can’t look worse. My corals are I don’t know where and I’m just not feeling well.

I know this isn’t a therapy forum, but I kinda need some words of encouragement. I really did something I didn’t want to do, and it was (and is) very hard for me to do this big move.

Thank you for listening.

Hang in there bud. I'm very new to saltwater but just like every other bit in life there will always be ups and downs. It can always be worse. I'm sorry that you experienced velvet. I hope that I never have to experience this but one day this will just be a memory and you will be back to having an even better reef tank than you thought possible!

I want to share my favorite TED Talk video on "synthesizing happiness". I'm not going to lie it's been a while since I've watched it but one thing I remember is that there is no difference between "synthesized happiness" and "real happiness".

Not that there is anything wrong with being sad, but at the end of the day we are as happy as we want to be. Sometimes you just have to whip up a batch of happiness and keep on powering through.

Sorry for rambling, truly hope things get better for you.

EDIT: forgot to post the link. If only I could "synthesized intelligence"!

https://www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert_asks_why_are_we_happy/up-next?language=en