Need assistance convincing girlfriend!

jonny · May 12, 2013

Reef Pets said:
This apply a to this hobby constantly...
It's easier to ask for forgiveness than it is permission.

This is one of my favorite sayings ever lol

navila06 · May 12, 2013

chiefsdude said:
buy her the clownfish. Lol. That's how I convince my wife. I'll tell her we need pink stuff and she would say it s a good color.

say you bought them for her. worked for me, when i was at work and my wife worked for 20 minutes to get the return pump to kick back on after a power flicker, when the new $90 pump came to the house, I told her I bought it for her.

Rikerbear · May 12, 2013

I'm lucky I guess, my husband has just as many vices, I mean hobbies as I do, so it all balances out LOL

WVUreefer · May 12, 2013

that sucks...my GF just got me 2 AI Vegas...hahhaa...well if this guy thats selling the clowns is a bud..it may be easier to ask him to hold on to them for a few days while you work up the funds...may be easier to convince a fellow fish head than the GF..she'll always follow up with the line "if you have the money to waste on fish...then.."

kchristensen8064 · May 12, 2013

WVUreefer said:
that sucks...my GF just got me 2 AI Vegas...hahhaa...well if this guy thats selling the clowns is a bud..it may be easier to ask him to hold on to them for a few days while you work up the funds...may be easier to convince a fellow fish head than the GF..she'll always follow up with the line "if you have the money to waste on fish...then.."

LUCKY! I'm in the market for a LED fixture, I have a better chance of winning power ball than her getting one for me. :thumbdown: I think I'm just going to go with the keep bugging her until she gets tired of hearing about it and gives in tactic.

Imsosavvy · May 13, 2013

navila06 said:
if you buy the fish and not pay her and she dosen't break up with you then you win, if you buy the fish and she breaks up with you then you win.

Agreed. Haha.

Cal · May 13, 2013

i'll convince her, just give me her number

ohio reefer · May 13, 2013

Tell her how much the hobby really means to you, if she still says no you have another problem on your hands. Also I see mocha clowns selling for 50$ a piece so 40$ is insanely good. Is there anything you can trade your buddy for the fish?

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navila06 · May 13, 2013

Cal said:
i'll convince her, just give me her number

ha ha ha

ChristopherKriens · May 13, 2013

Just get them and if she gets mad tell her she's pretty.

ohio reefer · May 13, 2013

Buy them and name them 40
Bucks and say I got you forty bucks. Or If they're really that important you can rent a laser and carve "we're" and "done" on them

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Rick · May 13, 2013

sell a frag then buy the clowns and say the tank paid for it

cdness · May 13, 2013

Just tell her "$40 is nothing, if you only knew what that skimmer cost me..." LOL!

It is easier to ask forgiveness than permission for sure, but if she can pull your keys she kinda has you by the... feet... Promise her dinner, candles, and a romantic evening in exchange for the fish, or agree to be her servant for a day whichever she prefers...

In the end you will be unhappy if you don't get the fish, but you'll be unhappy if you get the fish because she will be mad at you. Both decisions makes you unhappy, but one still gets you the fish

By the way my wife will kill me if she reads this

ladyreefer1983 · May 13, 2013

when i see good deals i just buy it without asking permission from my husband..even if i ask permission and he said no,i still go for it if its really something i want...when he finds out thats when i do the explaining and stuff..he will get mad(not very) but will forget about it when he sees me happy when i get what i bought,,one time i made a huge purchase without permission and he change our paypal password and i was screwed for 2 months(no buying corals)....just buy it if u have the money,but if u dont have the money and your gf have it nd u cant convince her...then goodluck....or tell her you will be her slave for a week or a month(always do this to my husband although it doesnt always happen lol)..or tell her it will be your purchase for now,u wont be buying any for a while....

Tom Does Disney · May 13, 2013

...or you just tell her they were a gift and you didnt pay a dime !!!

PaulKreider · May 13, 2013

If you cant aford to pay her back. Then you shouldnt be spending money on non-necessitys. If i loaned somone money and they kept putting it off to buy themselves beer or somthing then why would i loan them again.

Pay her back first. Tank second.

Neon Reef · May 13, 2013

tronko ftw!

Lilmatty5dimes · May 13, 2013

Reef Pets said:
This apply a to this hobby constantly...
It's easier to ask for forgiveness than it is permission.

perfectly true 100% i do this all the time.

MelissaKathryn · May 13, 2013

Why don't you create a payment plan with her? Go and get it notorized. This way, you pay her a certain amount and then you have actual money that you can budget out for things.. then it can be like a REAL car payment. If you want, you can pay it off early. If not, you can purchase the clowns with it. If she is iffy, just do a 2.5% interest rate. It's very low, but it sounds like she has no interest rate anyway.. so she may be more likely. It also helps you guys not be a one-sided relationship. Take my word for it.. it is WAY better to do this when loved ones loan money. Nobody feels ripped off either OR held back. My family is full of entreprenuers. I had a scholarship for undergrad, parents paid for grad school. The whole time, they paid living expenses. When I was done with grad school, I immediately wanted to open my own business. My mom loaned me $10,000 with my car as collateral at 2.5% interest and it all worked out great. We had it stipulated that I would start paying back and interest wouldn't incur until after 1 year (because businesses usually take about 3 years to get going and i needed to immediately invest back into the company). If anything ever happened, I called ahead of time and gave her a heads up that I was still waiting for a check from a client to clear, etc. BUT it was AMAZING because my parents didn't have anything to hold over my head... After the 1 year grace period I was allotted, I was able to pay it back in less than 2 years. BUT I had to be REALLY HONEST with them and the parameters I promised. You can get one drawn up at legalzoom.com for like ridiculously cheap if you aren't comfortable with the legal jargon.

But like I said, this is what my extended family uses with loved ones. Anytime it wasn't utilized, "disaster" occured. Generally someone becomes disgruntled with the other unless clear boundaries and expectations are set. Its not fair to her to watch you spend your money elsewhere when she is owed money and it is not fair to you to have this being hung over your head when hobbies are healthy. Just make sure you budget out your expenses ahead of time and know what you are getting into.

That is my 100% honest opinion. I've seen too many couples break up, clients feel jilted, etc. to not speak up. I just feel this is the most honest solution and will prevent problems in the future.