RANT: Dear Aquarium Equipment Manufacturer...

[JollyReefer]

Dear Aquarium Equipment Manufacturer,

Thank you for designing so many fantastic aquarium products that have helped bring this hobby to the masses. Your engineering prowess is impressive and indisputable. However, your instructions on how to install and use those fantastic products are--to put it mildly--frustrating and pathetic.

Now, it may seem like I'm singling you out here, Aquarium Equipment Manufacturer, but you're not alone; this problem is ubiquitous throughout the entire industry. Don't fret though. There is hope!

You don't have to succumb to the failures of your competitors any longer. You don't have to sink to the lowest common denominator. You can rise above the underwhelming instructions of your competitors and forsake your past instructions once and for all by simply dedicating a few minutes of your time to developing new, informative instructions that actually describe, to a lay person, how to install and use your products. I know it sounds silly, but it's true! That's all there is to it.

Now is your chance. Seize the day, and rectify your instructions. Stop making us feel stupid for not knowing how to install and use your products without assistance. I believe in you, Aquarium Equipment Manufacturer, and so do all the other nitrate-fearing aquarists out there.

Godspeed,
Disgruntled Customer

 

[gcarroll]

Trust me, its a cultural thing and the Europeans are a tough nut to crack with these issues.

 

[mcarroll]

Trust me, its a cultural thing and the Europeans are a tough nut to crack with these issues.

I've never had a problem with european products....but the translations on the cheap stuff out of china is comical.

Champion Lighting's custom-translation of Jebao's doser isntructions are the example that lept to my mind, but it's not the only one. (This is a thing going back into the 1980's at least and it's not just the aquarium trade. All your base are belonging to us!!)

 

[WVNed]

For the happiest light for your fish rotate the knob up until it is down.

 

[Stonekeg]

I had a thought while reading this post, @JollyReefer. Could you link a guide you think is awesome as an example for them to follow? I know finding a guide like that is easier said than done, but you never know. It might help!

 

[WVNed]

I figured out how to make a Maxspect gyre do what I want. Aint Skeered anymore.

 

[gcarroll]

@mcarroll IME, with european products they often include little to no instructions as they often expect that veteran hobbyists are the only ones purchasing their products. Also when it comes to electronics, they are often well behind US and Asian manufacturers when it comes to user interface.

 

[Shaun Sweeney]

Dear Aquarium Equipment Manufacturer,

Thank you for designing so many fantastic aquarium products that have helped bring this hobby to the masses. Your engineering prowess is impressive and indisputable. However, your instructions on how to install and use those fantastic products are--to put it mildly--frustrating and pathetic.

Now, it may seem like I'm singling you out here, Aquarium Equipment Manufacturer, but you're not alone; this problem is ubiquitous throughout the entire industry. Don't fret though. There is hope!

You don't have to succumb to the failures of your competitors any longer. You don't have to sink to the lowest common denominator. You can rise above the underwhelming instructions of your competitors and forsake your past instructions once and for all by simply dedicating a few minutes of your time to developing new, informative instructions that actually describe, to a lay person, how to install and use your products. I know it sounds silly, but it's true! That's all there is to it.

Now is your chance. Seize the day, and rectify your instructions. Stop making us feel stupid for not knowing how to install and use your products without assistance. I believe in you, Aquarium Equipment Manufacturer, and so do all the other nitrate-fearing aquarists out there.

Godspeed,
Disgruntled Customer

Good luck. The problem is rampant across industry. They use techys to do the writing when they should be using teachers. Recently bought a piece of music equipment that sets a new level of horrible.

 

[Vivid Creative Aquatics Verified Sponsor]

We agree @JollyReefer , and although our products are pretty simple to use, there are a few tips and tricks that can really help one get the most out of our products. And, you'll be happy to know we are in the process of pulling them together to put on our website and as an insert to go along with the products.

Thanks for keeping us Aquarium Equipment Manufacturer on our toes ;-)

 

[vetteguy53081]

Speaking of. . . . ( Vent-VENT)..... ANYONE know what is going on with the Cerebra controller ( OF the Future. .LOL ) by Vertex. 9 different major shows, 17 promises and All Of Us beta testers got screwed over and deserve a refund as this product and promises associated with it DID NOT COME THROUGH.

 

[Skep18]

Trust me, its a cultural thing and the Europeans are a tough nut to crack with these issues.

Written in EU law actually.

 

[tatmanfish]

Plenty of manufacturers on this side the pond as well. It's the entire industry. I had to Google image and YouTube half the stuff for my new build because they include next to no instructions. The newer the technology, the worse the instructions, or lack there of.

 

[Potatohead]

Instructions? I am a man! Here’s how it usually goes:

1) New shiny box arrives

2) Open box with the closest appropriate tool
A) your bare hands
B) the nearest pen (which will break)
C) car key
D) your wife’s best butter knife
E) some kind of power tool

3) The next challenge
A) packing peanuts
B) styrofoam with ZERO gap to the box edges and seemingly vacuum sealed inside
C) 14 pamphlets of advertisements for other products or warranty registration cards
D) bubble wrap and the worlds strongest tape
E) a combination of several of the above

4) Find terrible instructions enclosed. Look to see if there are any pictures
Yes - look at pictures and ponder possibly actually reading the instructions
No - throw instructions directly into the garbage. Fire optional

5) Lay out all the parts. Stand back and admire. Very likely start popping bubble wrap.

6) Start fiddling with them and prodding the parts. Realize they are not LEGO, after about five minutes, retrieve instructions

7) Remember that instructions are terrible and have no pictures

8) look for assembly videos online

9) get distracted by Russian dash cam videos and people running into things. Ninety minutes later you find a video on what you originally wanted

10) Video looks like it has been put together by a seven year old and filmed in 120p.

11) wife comes in asking if you remember her bringing the butter knife home from Aunt Patty’s last weekend because she can’t find it. Shrug your shoulders and mumble.

11) find another video. This one is great but it’s in some foreign language and the guys name is Claus. But ok, it has pictures.

12) now you’ve got the item assembled but there’s one part left over. Claus doesn’t show this part in the video. Hop onto R2R to see if anyone knows

13) someone answers you asking if you have a pic of the part

14) no picture but you describe it to the absolute best of your ability

15) guy replies “sounds like you’re describing a potato”

16) call manufacturer

17) manufacturer asks if you read the instructions. Of course I did but I saw no mention of this part! You describe the part.

18) manufacturer tells you the instructions in step two mention where to install this part. “oh sorry I must have skimmed over that part”

19) complete and total disassembly of the product is necessary to install the part you were left over with

20) Reassembly complete with one extra screw. Close enough!
- alternative ending “it was nice of them to supply an extra screw in case one gets lost!”

 

[MoKan Reefer]

Instructions? I am a man! Here’s how it usually goes:

1) New shiny box arrives

2) Open box with the closest appropriate tool
A) your bare hands
B) the nearest pen (which will break)
C) car key
D) your wife’s best butter knife
E) some kind of power tool

3) The next challenge
A) packing peanuts
B) styrofoam with ZERO gap to the box edges and seemingly vacuum sealed inside
C) 14 pamphlets of advertisements for other products or warranty registration cards
D) bubble wrap and the worlds strongest tape
E) a combination of several of the above

4) Find terrible instructions enclosed. Look to see if there are any pictures
Yes - look at pictures and ponder possibly actually reading the instructions
No - throw instructions directly into the garbage. Fire optional

5) Lay out all the parts. Stand back and admire. Very likely start popping bubble wrap.

6) Start fiddling with them and prodding the parts. Realize they are not LEGO, after about five minutes, retrieve instructions

7) Remember that instructions are terrible and have no pictures

8) look for assembly videos online

9) get distracted by Russian dash cam videos and people running into things. Ninety minutes later you find a video on what you originally wanted

10) Video looks like it has been put together by a seven year old and filmed in 120p.

11) wife comes in asking if you remember her bringing the butter knife home from Aunt Patty’s last weekend because she can’t find it. Shrug your shoulders and mumble.

11) find another video. This one is great but it’s in some foreign language and the guys name is Claus. But ok, it has pictures.

12) now you’ve got the item assembled but there’s one part left over. Claus doesn’t show this part in the video. Hop onto R2R to see if anyone knows

13) someone answers you asking if you have a pic of the part

14) no picture but you describe it to the absolute best of your ability

15) guy replies “sounds like you’re describing a potato”

16) call manufacturer

17) manufacturer asks if you read the instructions. Of course I did but I saw no mention of this part! You describe the part.

18) manufacturer tells you the instructions in step two mention where to install this part. “oh sorry I must have skimmed over that part”

19) complete and total disassembly of the product is necessary to install the part you were left over with

20) Reassembly complete with one extra screw. Close enough!
- alternative ending “it was nice of them to supply an extra screw in case one gets lost!”

This is exactly what I do myself. At least I'm not the only one. Awesome explanation!

 

[Sarah24!]

Hello,

Lol omg you guys kill me lol. Have had to read instructions to medical equipment and machines. It’s volumes 1-399,
And that’s just the English section. They are so complex
You need cliff notes to just figure out what they are trying to say, kinda reminds me of philosophy 499, when you have to figure out the mind set of Socrates as compared to St Thomas Aquaintas. Either way your like I can’t win, either they are so crappy you have to wing it, or so hard to understand and detailed you need a 40 hour work week with one of their reps to explain it. Not to mention as he speaks to all the doctors and nurses he thinks wow these morons couldn’t figure out how to run our machine, but they are gonna save my life. Hmmmm either way I agree instructions Manuels Just tools to make all of us seem really dumb for a short moment. Then what’s worse is when your five year old
Comes along and can make more sense out of it than you can. Yup been there, my niece can figure my iPhone out better than I can, it’s scsry.

 

[Forsaken77]

When I bought an skimmer a few years back, it was quite different from my previous skimmer and this was my first skimmer after being out of the hobby for 20 years. So I didn't know jack about needlewheel skimmers.

The instruction "post card" basically showed a picture of "put big cup on top, insert into sump, plug in."

I was like, "ok... but what about all these other pieces and hoses?" They all assume everyone knows how to use their products.

CoralVue at least makes their own instructional YouTube videos. I'm all for saving the trees, but give me something to help me use this stuff out of the box.

I guess I'm old school in that I prefer to pull out a well documented manual instead of having to search online. Instructions used to be very detailed and some even had a table of contents, a FAQ, and complete troubleshooting section. Now you're lucky to get a flap of paper written in broken English with a picture of something that doesn't match the item you bought, lol.

 

[TessGlo]

I appreciate this post so much. My frustration with this issue reached a peak when the first instruction for a Bubble Magnus dosing pump was to "keep calm" and "don't put on the frowziness" ... for real...To me this made clear the instructions were never even proofread, let alone given some attention to make sure they were clear. I was new to this hobby just 1.5 years ago and if it was not for the internet I would have never figured out how to use many pieces of equipment.

 

[SFKINNC]

One of my pet peeves is receiving a product with “instructions” that consist only of pictures which are (sometimes) numbered 1, 2, 3... The seller assumes that we are illiterate.

 

[Mical]

I figured out how to make a Maxspect gyre do what I want. Aint Skeered anymore.

I think I encountered the guy who wrote that

 

[tiggs]

Speaking of. . . . ( Vent-VENT)..... ANYONE know what is going on with the Cerebra controller ( OF the Future. .LOL ) by Vertex. 9 different major shows, 17 promises and All Of Us beta testers got screwed over and deserve a refund as this product and promises associated with it DID NOT COME THROUGH.

I haven't heard any news in a while, but I got a refund as soon as I was told there would be another 6 week delay on my original Cerebra (I was in the second batch heading to the US). The fact that they didn't tell the early adopters it was a beta program is also ridiculous. It was sold to us as an "introductory offer". Thinking back, I should have been wary of any company willing to discount the first batch of a supposed game-changing product by 50% up front. Hopefully they make it right for you guys at some point.