- Joined
- Nov 23, 2006
- Messages
- 13,377
- Reaction score
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- Location
- Los Angeles
- What state or country do you live in
- California
After decades in this hobby, I think I've heard almost every excuse, every story, every mistake...at least three times. Maybe four. Regardless, I am certain that there are some statements that you will simply not hear from a reefer...Or, should I say, things a reefer might say but not really mean. Some examples:
“I’m done adding corals to this tank.”- I mean, seriously, when was the last time you EVER heard ANY reefer tell you this, and then really not add any more coral to his/her reef? I don't care if there is no more than 4 inches of free real estate in that reef, the hardcore reefer will find a way to get another one in there. Let’s face it- we just seem incapable of saying no. Even if it means relegating a once favorite coral to the sump (Oh, THAT’s why he was shopping for an “extra” Ecotech Radion!), or asking another reefer to “coral sit” a specimen for “a while.” These desperate actions are often accompanied by much behind the scenes negotiation with his/her significant other for a new tank, as the reefer attempts to overcome what my pal Tony Vargas properly calls “The Spouse Factor.”
"Okay, maybe if I move that Blue Tenuis over an inch behind the echinata..."
“I’m fine with a little algae in there.”- Oh, come on. You know as well as I do that, even though our rational mind tells us a little algae is a natural, almost unavoidable part of a reef system, almost every reefer is obsessed with eliminating visible algae from his/her reef. I mean, we spend hours and hours, and collectively, thousands of dollars per year on products that promise to remove algae from our system forever. No one seems to want to see even the slightest amount of nuisance algae in their reef, despite any cherry proclamation to the contrary. An algae problem- and most reefers will tell you that even a patch of isolated algae is a “problem”- will result in sleepless nights, vast internet searches for algae control techniques, and investment of money into their removal/elimination from said reef tank.
"No biggie. The Bryopsis is just in that one little spot. I'm cool with it." Yeah. Right.
“That Angel doesn’t nip at my corals”- Let’s be honest with ourselves for a minute. We’ve all made that bad call, where we’ve taken the chance with an Angelfish in our reef under the assumption that clouds of mysis and enriched frozen foods will keep her from picking at our precious coral collection, only to have been burned by continuous minor damage to said corals. We’ll try to rationalize it to our reef-keeping buddies, telling them that “this is the FIRST time I’ve seen him do that!” when one of them points out that your Flame Angel is carefully (ok, not so carefully) picking at your prized $80 dollar-per-plyp “designer” Acan. Despite rationalizing with yourself that it’s only picking at mucous on the surface tissue, you know that the reality is that the coral is closing up and not looking as good these days, and that: a) you have a long and arduous task of removing the Angel from the reef, and b) You’ll have to put your pride on hold and admit that you were…wron- ….okay, “not entirely correct” in your call.
"He's totally 'reef safe', man. Totally."
“I love my aquascape. Wouldn’t change anything!”- If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard this, only to see a reefer modify, tweak, or otherwise completely tear down his or her rock work because they weren’t really happy with it, I wouldn’t have to sling corals for a living! I can literally count the number of reefers who truly “set and forget” their rock work on the fingers of one hand, and their names were: Steve Weast., Steve Weast, and Steve Weast. He thought through every possible permutation of every rock before setting it in his tank, trust me. Let’s be perfectly frank- you may SAY that you love your aquascape, but the minute you see that cool reef down the road, or that incredible “tank of the decade”, or worse, see an empty aquarium with perfect proportions at the LFS with your name on it, you’ll start picking apart your aquascape like an overeater at a free buffet. It won’t be possible not to at least “imagineer” a modification to your rock work to look “more open” or “more like that formation in ___________’s tank.” I submit that we are never really satisfied or completely content with our aquascaping. Unless your name happens to be Steve Weast.
There's always one exception. This one is it. Steve Weast's old 850.
“I re-did my plumbing scheme to make things easier.” - Are you KIDDING me? When was the last time you ever heard that? It’s generally the other way around, and you know it: “I’m adding a new BioPellet reactor, so I replumbed a section of the feed line to my protein skimmer, via the shared line that it has with my calcium reactor. This will free up the other 7 lines back to my refugium, kalk stirrer, ATO, and carbon reactors. Now, I just have to turn this valve, shut off this feed line, turn off the pump, take out these two reactors, remove the skimmer collection cup, and I’ll easily be able to change the media whenever I want!” Huh? I mean, seriously, we laugh at how complex people in other hobbies make things, but the reality is that we are the “Kings of Complication”, forever tweaking our systems to add more devices, more options, under the guise that we’re making our lives "easier." Hah! Who are we fooling, right? We love solving simple problems with more complexity. It’s what we do. It keeps the aquarium gadget industry working, keeps Home Depot staffed, and keeps the credit card companies happy. I guess “making things easier” in the reef hobby has broader macroeconomic implications than we could ever imagine, right? Um, yeah.
"OMG, this plumbing mod has made working in my sump SO MUCH easier!"
Okay, so there are five of my favorite things that you’ll never hear a reefer say and really mean it. I think we’ve almost all been guilty of a few of these, and we can pretty much take it to the bank that there are dozens more of these “absolutes” that hold, well “absolutely” no meaning. Let’s hear ‘em!
We’re reefers. We are constantly evolving, improving, tweaking. We love to talk the talk, walk the walk, spin tall tales, share our success, frags, and laugh at our foibles. Another thing that you’ll never hear from a reefer: “I’m not having any fun.” I think THAT is a near impossibility!
Another absolute statement:
I’ll always sign off like this…
Until next time.
Stay wet.
Scott Fellman
Unique Corals
“I’m done adding corals to this tank.”- I mean, seriously, when was the last time you EVER heard ANY reefer tell you this, and then really not add any more coral to his/her reef? I don't care if there is no more than 4 inches of free real estate in that reef, the hardcore reefer will find a way to get another one in there. Let’s face it- we just seem incapable of saying no. Even if it means relegating a once favorite coral to the sump (Oh, THAT’s why he was shopping for an “extra” Ecotech Radion!), or asking another reefer to “coral sit” a specimen for “a while.” These desperate actions are often accompanied by much behind the scenes negotiation with his/her significant other for a new tank, as the reefer attempts to overcome what my pal Tony Vargas properly calls “The Spouse Factor.”
"Okay, maybe if I move that Blue Tenuis over an inch behind the echinata..."
“I’m fine with a little algae in there.”- Oh, come on. You know as well as I do that, even though our rational mind tells us a little algae is a natural, almost unavoidable part of a reef system, almost every reefer is obsessed with eliminating visible algae from his/her reef. I mean, we spend hours and hours, and collectively, thousands of dollars per year on products that promise to remove algae from our system forever. No one seems to want to see even the slightest amount of nuisance algae in their reef, despite any cherry proclamation to the contrary. An algae problem- and most reefers will tell you that even a patch of isolated algae is a “problem”- will result in sleepless nights, vast internet searches for algae control techniques, and investment of money into their removal/elimination from said reef tank.
"No biggie. The Bryopsis is just in that one little spot. I'm cool with it." Yeah. Right.
“That Angel doesn’t nip at my corals”- Let’s be honest with ourselves for a minute. We’ve all made that bad call, where we’ve taken the chance with an Angelfish in our reef under the assumption that clouds of mysis and enriched frozen foods will keep her from picking at our precious coral collection, only to have been burned by continuous minor damage to said corals. We’ll try to rationalize it to our reef-keeping buddies, telling them that “this is the FIRST time I’ve seen him do that!” when one of them points out that your Flame Angel is carefully (ok, not so carefully) picking at your prized $80 dollar-per-plyp “designer” Acan. Despite rationalizing with yourself that it’s only picking at mucous on the surface tissue, you know that the reality is that the coral is closing up and not looking as good these days, and that: a) you have a long and arduous task of removing the Angel from the reef, and b) You’ll have to put your pride on hold and admit that you were…wron- ….okay, “not entirely correct” in your call.
"He's totally 'reef safe', man. Totally."
“I love my aquascape. Wouldn’t change anything!”- If I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard this, only to see a reefer modify, tweak, or otherwise completely tear down his or her rock work because they weren’t really happy with it, I wouldn’t have to sling corals for a living! I can literally count the number of reefers who truly “set and forget” their rock work on the fingers of one hand, and their names were: Steve Weast., Steve Weast, and Steve Weast. He thought through every possible permutation of every rock before setting it in his tank, trust me. Let’s be perfectly frank- you may SAY that you love your aquascape, but the minute you see that cool reef down the road, or that incredible “tank of the decade”, or worse, see an empty aquarium with perfect proportions at the LFS with your name on it, you’ll start picking apart your aquascape like an overeater at a free buffet. It won’t be possible not to at least “imagineer” a modification to your rock work to look “more open” or “more like that formation in ___________’s tank.” I submit that we are never really satisfied or completely content with our aquascaping. Unless your name happens to be Steve Weast.
There's always one exception. This one is it. Steve Weast's old 850.
“I re-did my plumbing scheme to make things easier.” - Are you KIDDING me? When was the last time you ever heard that? It’s generally the other way around, and you know it: “I’m adding a new BioPellet reactor, so I replumbed a section of the feed line to my protein skimmer, via the shared line that it has with my calcium reactor. This will free up the other 7 lines back to my refugium, kalk stirrer, ATO, and carbon reactors. Now, I just have to turn this valve, shut off this feed line, turn off the pump, take out these two reactors, remove the skimmer collection cup, and I’ll easily be able to change the media whenever I want!” Huh? I mean, seriously, we laugh at how complex people in other hobbies make things, but the reality is that we are the “Kings of Complication”, forever tweaking our systems to add more devices, more options, under the guise that we’re making our lives "easier." Hah! Who are we fooling, right? We love solving simple problems with more complexity. It’s what we do. It keeps the aquarium gadget industry working, keeps Home Depot staffed, and keeps the credit card companies happy. I guess “making things easier” in the reef hobby has broader macroeconomic implications than we could ever imagine, right? Um, yeah.
"OMG, this plumbing mod has made working in my sump SO MUCH easier!"
Okay, so there are five of my favorite things that you’ll never hear a reefer say and really mean it. I think we’ve almost all been guilty of a few of these, and we can pretty much take it to the bank that there are dozens more of these “absolutes” that hold, well “absolutely” no meaning. Let’s hear ‘em!
We’re reefers. We are constantly evolving, improving, tweaking. We love to talk the talk, walk the walk, spin tall tales, share our success, frags, and laugh at our foibles. Another thing that you’ll never hear from a reefer: “I’m not having any fun.” I think THAT is a near impossibility!
Another absolute statement:
I’ll always sign off like this…
Until next time.
Stay wet.
Scott Fellman
Unique Corals
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