Just because you can't do it, that doesn't mean it can't be done. Trident's alkalinity assay has a precision (2 x RSD) of better than 0.5% of the measured value. We don't need to indulge in significant figure abuse in order to be able to honestly report alkalinity to two decimal places.
Sorry to hear you have so much difficulty with pump accuracy as an issue. Same for those probes you use. Trident entirely avoids that issue. Also sorry to hear if you have issues with QC on your reagent, or if you don't know how long your tubes are. I'm not sure what significant effect air pressure has on an alkalinity assay, or if you're just resorting to gratuitous FUD with that one.
I bet that if you COULD claim such precision, you would. Your rant reminds me of a story about a fox and some grapes.....