Why things get ruined in reef keeping...

[uniquecorals]

I talk to a lot of hobbyists who sometimes lose their way in this endeavor we call "reef keeping."

They stop enjoying the hobby, feel bad about their failures, or even what they feel is the insignificance of their successes..and then things get ruined.

Things get ruined for a lot of reasons.

Things get ruined when we allow others to dictate how we feel. When we let them get inside our head. When their values, style, opinion overshadows our own. Things get ruined when we lose our focus.

Things get ruined when we are not ourselves. When we don’t follow our dreams, our intuition…that little voice inside that says, “Don’t get that coral!”

Things get ruined when we lose our way, deviate significantly from our plan, especially when it was working, starting to work, or showed great promise of working. Things get ruined when we give up too soon.

Things get ruined when we do too many things; when we don’t keep it simple. When we build in needless layers of complexity and procedure. And of course, things get ruined when we don’t follow our own procedures…or worse, when we follow the procedures laid out by others which don’t really work for our system.


Things get ruined when we blame ourselves for everything that goes wrong in our systems. Sometimes, things just go south because we’re dealing with living creatures and a whole lot of variables.

On the other hand, things get ruined when we are arrogant, selfish, and carry ourselves with an air of hubris, demeaning others and their efforts and accomplishments simply because we can’t feel good about ourselves.

Don’t be that reefer.

Things get ruined because we’re always looking for the next big thing. The shortcut. The sage advice. Things get ruined because we think everyone else has it all figured out and that we need to do it the same way, just because.

Most important, things get ruined because we lose our passion- our motivation, our love for the whole thing…The very force that drove us into this hobby to begin with. Without passion, all you have is an expensive, soulless, imitative pile of equipment and life, aggregated together with audacity, for the purpose of pleasing…whom?

Things to ponder when you hit a rough spot in the hobby…or in life, I suppose.

The short summary:

Don’t let “them” tell you what’s cool. Don’t let others dictate how you feel about your hobby. Don’t overcomplicate stuff. Don’t beat yourself up when stuff goes wrong.

Don’t lose your passion.

And…


Stay Wet


Scott Fellman
Unique Corals

 

[steve&mari]

Awesome post as always Scott some good things to ponder.

 

[Scolacanthop]

I agree. That is why I keep my passion growing. That is why I keep my system simply despite a lot of sophisticated equipments availble out there so I can interact closely to my corals. That is why I go with my heart, and of course my budget when I acquire a new coral member to my tank... Just be cause I really want I am a HAPPY REEFER!!!

 

[uniquecorals]

Awesome post as always Scott some good things to ponder.

Thanks, Steve...yeah, I think we sometimes lose sight of the most important aspect of the hobby- having fun...Nice to think about it once in a while!
-Scott

 

[uniquecorals]

I agree. That is why I keep my passion growing. That is why I keep my system simply despite a lot of sophisticated equipments availble out there so I can interact closely to my corals. That is why I go with my heart, and of course my budget when I acquire a new coral member to my tank... Just be cause I really want I am a HAPPY REEFER!!!

That's what it's all about!
-Scott

 

[ksfulk]

On the other hand, things get ruined when we are arrogant, selfish, and carry ourselves with an air of hubris, demeaning others and their efforts and accomplishments simply because we can’t feel good about ourselves.

This...

I get discouraged - I think we all do - when our tank isnt going great. But thats a motivation to "fix" it. What ruins that is the virtrolic responses and demeaning ridicules that questions - especially new to the hobby questions - are met with. Perhaps worse than that is when the response is "why dont you google it yourself?" To seek knowledge or opinions, regardless of the source is an attempt to expand your knowledge and correct your issue. There is no stupid questions. Sure, responding to the fifteth "Which salt is the best salt?" or "Whats better: LEDS or MH?" thread/post/question is aggrivating, but take that step back and take a deep breath. There is no salt water hobby moderator god - and it isnt your place to be there. If you can provide some insight or information, please do so, but dont respond with scathing remarks simply because you are burnt out. Get up, take a break from your computer and look at your tank. Take enjoyment in what you have created, know that its not perfect, but be happy that its yours and it is beautiful. Thats the key to it all. Thats what we should all strive to remember.

Well said, Scott. I cant wait to go home and look at my tank and see the beauty there.

 

[rosegirl37]

Very well put. Could not agree more.

 

[JohnnyCheats]

Awesome post. Keep it simple, have patience in what works for us, have humility, don't judge, listen, guide and keep the passion.

 

[retiredsailor]

I get discouraged - I think we all do - when our tank isnt going great. But thats a motivation to "fix" it. What ruins that is the virtrolic responses and demeaning ridicules that questions - especially new to the hobby questions - are met with.

So much of this.... If you don't like someone's question... then don't answer it! Everyone was new at one point. Everyone has had questions. Instead of insulting people, just move on. Life is hard enough without someone corrupting a place we all come to for some measure of enjoyment.

ian

 

[slojmn]

Love what you had to say Scott. The passion never leaves for me. Frustrations do get in the way but the passion drives me on. I love to sit and watch my tank, I do it every day multiple times per day. In the end I know some days it is a stress reliever and other days it a stress creator, lol. In the end though, I just can't live without it!!

 

[markalan]

Thank you Scott, what you said really helped me out.

 

[feh]

Don't even get me started on this one...

 

[Singlefin]

Keep it simple.

 

[Brad Syphus]

Spot on my friend. Passion and love for the hobby keeps us in tune on what is always going on with our living box of life. You lose your passion, you need to dig deep and re-ignite it, or the fire inside will die.

 

[Mike in CT]

I think when you start a tank, you have to figure why you are starting it. Is it going to be for the long haul....a source of stress relief and enjoyment...where you can laugh when someone comes over and notices your bubble algae and loves it as much or more as your most expensive or coral. This is when I think you keep as simple as possible. Not that simple cant mean a awesome tank...just as bullet proof and stress free over long periods of time as possible, so you sit back and enjoy it without much stress.
Or you can have a tank where your going to go all out....the newest of everything from equipment to livestock. You want maximum growth and color....and bragging rights (nothing wrong with this). This also might mean you get tank burnout after a while, but that's just part of it and you might get past it...or sell all your stuff on Craigs list.LOL I follow Paul B's advice and instead of getting down when things go wrong, use it as learning experience for next time. You pretty much only learn by your mistakes...everything else is pretty much luck.

 

[Paul B]

Very nice Scott. I love it.
Take Care
Paul

 

[uniquecorals]

Very nice Scott. I love it.
Take Care
Paul

And you, Paul-above almost anyone else in the hobby...have that "IT" factor..to keep your systems up as long as you have- bucking very fad...believing in yourself...like, wow...!

 

[Oceansize]

It's funny, I came to R2R today with the same thought in my head. I've only been reefing since April, and I've already experienced emotional highs, lows, thrilling victories, and crushing defeats. I got into reefkeeping as a way of extending my love of our oceans and their inhabitants, and also as a form of daily therapy to help me de-stress from a highly stressful career (thinking about water chemistry, fish and coral means I'm not thinking about global financial collapse LOL). The thought in my head this morning was how amazed I am at what a journey I've already been on and yet my tank is still barely stocked!

My point being that my satisfaction and my enjoyment from this hobby so far has very little to do with being able to appreciate a lush happy beautiful aquascape and much more to do with the satisfaction of turning a problem into a challenge and then meeting that challenge, and the thrilling joy of success that ensues. I have not succeeded at each challenge, but as the saying goes: experience is what you get when you don't get what you want. So far I am good at keeping my defeats in perspective: the bright side is I'm always gathering invaluable experience, even when I fail. But yeah, the flip side is it can be very disheartening when something is dying and you just can't figure out why, or when something is out of balance and your tank becomes an embarrassment to look at or show off (algae blooms, etc).

What is also satisfying for me is the special nature of the community. It truly feels like we are pioneers in many respects, helping each other via the benefits of crowdsourcing information and experience. Even with water chemistry geniuses on hand such as Randy Holmes-Farley and all the other experienced contributors with tanks that are several decades old in many cases, there is still so much that is based on loose theory and plain ol' trial & error. The ratio of what we've learned over the past hundreds of years about water chemistry and captive reef systems compared to what we still have yet to learn is very humbling.

My current challenge is doing a better job of determining my rate of Alk depletion and dosing accordingly; I have lost some critters due to pH swings resulting from Alk dropping much faster than anticipated. This is where my previous freshwater experience has probably been a detriment: it gave me some pre-conceived assumptions that do not apply to reef systems (the water in S. California is very hard, so I had to go from always trying to keep Alk low to the exact opposite!). But now that I'm rapidly getting Alk back on track, my pH has returned to 8.3 and I'm watching my acan, duncan, and zoa return brilliantly from what was looking like certain death. (Thrilling!!!) Alas, my yellow tang did not survive the swing. (Crushing!!!)

So many internet forums are places where attention spans aren't valued, no one wants to read a lengthy post, but here people care. You can take the time to be thorough and complete in your explanations, and nobody responds with a snarky "TL : DR" or other childish behavior. (Or if they do, I haven't seen it yet). Thanks in advance to everybody who has or will help me here at R2R! Hopefully I will be able to help you too some day.

 

[Paul B]

[QUOTE="have that "IT" factor..to keep your systems up as long as you have[/QUOTE]

Thank you. My fish are plastic (don't tell anyone)

 

[Dubsmk2]

Love this post could not agree any more with you on this one, I myself don't even know the fancy name for most of my corls just what family it's from and the best way to care for them. Sometimes I think the hobby is turning into a for profit hobby