Your spouse - Did they say Yes or No?

[vetteguy53081]

One of the challenges in this hobby is getting your spouse or significant other to agree to a purchase or need when in this hobby.
Is there/was there an item you really needed or wanted and you had to get through your partner's approval?
What was the item and were you able to convince them on the purchase?

I see many desiring a tank upgrade and are often held back due to budget or Needing to wait.

 

[CO2TLEY]

All the items. Its just better to ask to make them feel like they make the final say so lol

 

[DDenny]

I wouldn’t have a tank if she said no hahahahaha. That being said I have bought a few things without telling her but for the most part she is on ever decision including livestock.

 

[Gumbies R Us]

Yes! I mean we both tag team our tank, and both love the hobby pretty equally

 

[Reefer Matt Verified Media Partner]

I’m the sole bread winner in my family and don’t ask for permission to buy something. I am transparent on spending though. But it usually means if I buy something, then she buys something. My wife isn’t into reefing, but I make sure to work overtime to cover extra purchases, and try not to be selfish. For example, I bought a new truck six years ago. It gets paid off this month, so I bought her a new vehicle last week. (Though it cost more than my truck!) Lol! Been married 20 years, just gotta make it fair or it likely won’t work.

 

[DDenny]

I’m the sole bread winner in my family and don’t ask for permission to buy something. I am transparent on spending though. But it usually means if I buy something, then she buys something. My wife isn’t into reefing, but I make sure to work overtime to cover extra purchases, and try not to be selfish. For example, I bought a new truck six years ago. It gets paid off this month, so I bought her a new vehicle last week. (Though it cost more than my truck!) Lol! Been married 20 years, just gotta make it fair or it likely won’t work.

Happy wife happy life.

 

[exnisstech]

I'm pretty fortunate because I don't have to ask permission for anything. That said my Gal and I have a relation ship different than most. We have been together over 30 years but not married. I pay for everything required to keep the house running including the house itself which is paid for. She drives a new truck that I paid for. All she contributes financially is to buy the groceries and with only 2 of us thats not bad.
What do I get in exchange? A Gal who puts up with me which is challenging. But the best part is I can spend every penny I have on anything I want as long as the lights turn on whe she flips the switch she doesn't care. I did have to buy wall space from her once to get her to move her nick knacks so I could set a tank up on that wall. For an entire LR wall for $100 I think that was a steal

 

[Nano_Man]

You only live once so I do what I want

 

[Glowurm]

Better to ask forgiveness than seek permission...

 

[Uncle99]

I’m lucky.
She supports my addiction.

 

[AJQ69]

One of the challenges in this hobby is getting your spouse or significant other to agree to a purchase or need when in this hobby.
Is there/was there an item you really needed or wanted and you had to get through your partner's approval?
What was the item and were you able to convince them on the purchase?

I see many desiring a tank upgrade and are often held back due to budget or Needing to wait.

It is my hard-earned money, I don't see why I should ask permission to buy something, it goes the same way; she doesn't have to ask me for blessings if she is doing her nails, hair or going on a shopping spree, she has her salary and we both take care of the bills, being married 35yrs and works like a charm

 

[raythereefer]

I asked my girlfriend if I could get a tank 100 times , got 99 no's and one yes and the rest is history ! Now upgrading later this year but have got to re decorate and tile the lounge floor first in exchange for permission

 

[Ziggy17]

The only thing that required a discussion was the tank itself. She likes the tank when she likes me, but when we have a little spat, she’ instantly annoyed with me and the fish always get dragged into the mix. it’s actually quite funny.

 

[tzabor10]

I found that my wife likes my hobby and approves when the tank is looking great. If there is sloppy glass, loud powerheads, and cords on the floor I get a no thanks. My takeaway is not to spend money to feel better, but put in the work to make the most of what I have into it.

 

[*unique*]

I always lie been 2 years still not caught you just gotta do it right

 

[TehBrainz]

We have "fun money" built into our budget that can be used for whatever we want as long as the funds are there. If it's not there and a necessity or a true "want" then I'll certainly ask.

I've been told no for many things, setting up my AWC system was one of them I was told no for years. Not due to monetary reasons, but for putting holes in the walls and connecting the dining room to the garage. Eventually she said yes once I gave a detailed plan and budget.

 

[Formulator]

I get in trouble for leaving packages sitting in our foyer for days, but she doesn’t seem to care about what I buy as long as the bills get paid. I make about double her salary though, so I get some grace to do what I want. Unless we are in a spat. Then like someone else mentioned, somehow the fish get brought into it!

 

[TX_REEF]

a frag tank to compliment the display tank - it was an easier sell than I expected because she loves the display so much!

 

[Serpentman2024]

Probably reason #108 why I won't remarry lol.

 

[Homestarmy]

My wife is fully supportive of my reefing hobby, although her initial take was ‘you can get one, but you do all the work and I’ll enjoy the tank’, which was fine because I wanted to interact with the aquarium and do the work.

She cleared out space in our laundry room for storage and an RODI system, not complained when I spend stupid amounts of money, and has supported me and the tank in every way possible.

As for not working on the tank, that’s kind of fallen to the side - she was scrubbing hair Algea off the rock a couple of weeks ago. She cleans the glass and helps remove debris (empty mastic tiles & urchin hats ) from the bottom.

Honestly, I couldn’t do this without her.