Depressed

[CenlaReefer]

I tried to keep a struggling scoly for a friend to help nurse it back to health. It did not do well for me. As much as I love scoly and meat coral, I will not buy them. Those are too delicate for me. Beside, I prefer coral that can produce new products to frag for sell or trade. I have been successfully with acanthastrea like this Mardi Gras acan:

 

[ReeferSamster]

I have been thinking about possibly transitioning the tank to a freshwater setup? Thoughts?

I feel like my duties as a father/husband are becoming strained and I hate feeling like this, while simultaneously having a tank that is neglected. When I do something, I don't feel right if I give it half effort.

Any advice possible would be much appreciated. Thank you guys!

Here's my 2 cents IMHE:

I just posted a thread about how I get this mental episode twice a year where I neglect the tank for a month ,two, or even longer.
There have been the rare times, especially when life gets tough and stress is up and time is short, that I considered taking the tank down after the first 10 years. I created that little world about 20 years ago, same Fiji and Tongan rocks since then. They've gotten so much smaller due to erosion and old age.

For some reason, I kept chugging through. The worst was about 5 years ago when I neglected the tank for almost 4 months straight, right before I upgraded to my latest tank, the RedSea Reefer, when I lost about 25% of my corals, a clam I had for a few years and my beloved Marty clownfish, which I had for about 10 years. That got me depressed and I thought, maybe I should just quit. I remember feeling the same feelings you have now, when I read your post.

I don't know what happened, but somehow I chugged through. The rough times in my life got better. It has its ups and downs, I started making time for the tank, instead of complaining about the lack of time.

The tank has been with me for so long and through so much that now it's such a fixture in my life, that any potential house relocation, one of the highest priority, is my reef tank when deciding on a house.

I guess what I'm trying to say, is that there will be periods of time when things are bleh. and on one occasion, my neglect with the tank 5 or 6 years ago; being a reefbum, lasted almost 4 months straight of neglect. It was THAT bad. I had employment and relationship issues at that time.

Now I'm glad I didn't give it up. It's a part of my life now, and not just some "fad" or hobby. I reached a point where my tank is metaphorically, like my girlfriend i've had for so long, we are like an elderly couple...jaded and annoyed at each other some times, but I couldn't think of giving my little world up. They depend on me for life.
I hope this helps.

Oh and one thing that really helped was automating as much as possible, that had to do with the tank. When I had little time, I prioritzed automating any process that needed to be done on a daily or weekly basis.

 

[Tamberav]

Hi everyone,

Just for background. I hadn't owned an aquarium since high school (a little 20 gallon with a goldfish). I went to an aquarium store and got hooked almost immediately after I started my new job. I started a 180 g saltwater aquarium approximately 2 years ago. I used the aquaforest 790 kit, with the rock, sand etc. Seeded my aquarium with bottled bac into the aquaforest rock, AF salt, Neptune Apex, Trident, MP40s, Neptune Sky, ATO, Reefmat, etc. Easily spent 15k-18k on this setup.

I have a job where I work sometimes 60-80 hours /week, and then want to spend time with my wife and kids. Feels like I have very little time left for my reef tank. As a result, I believe it suffers, and the corals/inhabitants don't get all the attention they need. I have killed so many corals, it makes my stomach churn thinking about the loss of life/money that I have caused.

I want to have something beautiful to look at, without so much maintenance, watching parameters, etc. Maybe it's not possible, maybe I am being unrealistic.

I have been thinking about possibly transitioning the tank to a freshwater setup? Thoughts?

I feel like my duties as a father/husband are becoming strained and I hate feeling like this, while simultaneously having a tank that is neglected. When I do something, I don't feel right if I give it half effort.

Any advice possible would be much appreciated. Thank you guys!

When I had my son, I sold all my corals except soft corals and made the full switch to softies. Then proceeded to neglect the tank with no testing or water changes for a year lol

The corals did well and spread, I did get some cyano here and there but nothing world ending. I am betting if I could just change the water once a month that wouldn’t be an issue.


You didn’t say what kind of corals you had but is a full softy tank appealing? There are some real stunners.

I also had bubble tips which did fine with the neglect.

Bare bottom also helps to keep uglies at bay though I did have half a sand bed for wrasses to sleep in.

 

[Merry]

What about hiring a company to do the upkeep/maintenance for you and you can just enjoy the tank and not have to worry about that part of it? I don't know if your financial position would allow for that added expense but it might offset you having to OOP those costs.

That would be great if you could find someone in the area, I've attempted that a few times without success.