I highly highly recommend indo pacific sea farms. All of my tanks have been seeded with the amazing mud and various critters they sell. Not only was I astounded at the quantity of life in one of their bags of mud, but most of it is still in my various tanks, going on years after years. I still find spaghetti worms in my sandbed 5 years after seeding it..
My recommendation is simple:
Make a DSB, use whatever size sand you want, they all have plusses and minuses, though I wouldn't go super small.
Put in some live rock, some dead too if you want.
Add a chaeto sump.
Wait a month or so for things to stabilize. Probably don't bother with the lights, or run them low.
Seed the bed with a bunch of stuff from IPSF. Also if you can find other vendors of sandbed goodness, mis it up, add things from all kinds of places, other peoples tanks, etc. Diversity is king.
Set an autofeeder up to feed some pellets at night.
Wait a month.
Set the lights up, but run them on low power.
Let the tank cycle for 2-6 months. (the longer the better) Keep autofeeding the sand the whole time. Keep up on your maintenance, don't slack off. Keep all your parameters stable, nitrates, phosphates, dKH, everything. Keep the algae at bay, use trochus snails, etc.
Start stocking the tank slowly. Start with things that you need to keep the tank healthy first, like a rabbitfish, or peppermint shrimp if needed for aipstaisia. (You can add these earlier if you have to, but be aware, shrimp are general predators of sandbed critters, so don't add them unless you have to)
Enjoy a rock solid reef.