Do Female Reefers have it easier?

[MurphyJ]

Or are male Reefers just Drama Queens?

I see so many posts where men say:

Male: My wife/GF complains about the cost of corals “I would buy xxx but the SN would freak out!”

Me: Husband never questions what I spend.

Male: I pour skimmer into the sink when she is not around.

Me: I dump skimmer in the kitchen sink and clean it there. I do chase it with Dawn and wipe down. Him “why don’t you do that when we have parties? Would clear the house faster!”

Male: I would like xxx but the SN would freak out over the cost.

Me: I bought xxx for xxx. Him “you could make a down payment for for that!” Me “Yeah, but the corals will really be happier.“ Him “well, what about that Gold Fish (he calls all fish not Tangs or Clowns Gold Fish) , the one I like, will it make him happy?“ Me “Yeah he will like it because . . . (Long scientific reason which makes him zone out)”

So, easier or just Drama Queens?

 

[Quietman]

Easier!

 

[Daddy-o]

I am an exception to the rule, my wife just dont care what I buy or do. Live and let live!
Cheers! Mark

 

[Quietman]

Actually I don't have it bad at all...she loves the tank and her pottery hobby isn't exactly cheap.

 

[X-37B]

I think its Murphy's law! It goes both ways.

 

[don_chuwish]

This is all my wife's fault - her idea to get a saltwater aquarium in the first place. I'm just the one that ended up slightly more obsessed. I do all the work, she enjoys the show. So I don't get complaints when I do crazy things for the tank. Tanks, actually.

 

[Greg P]

When I started out, hardware costs were surprising.
Lately it's understood that this is not a cheap hobby.

 

[Greg P]

Sorry, I didn't include the 'Spouse' factor

Yes, it makes a big difference if your Spouse is not 'onboard' with you spending all this money

 

[Tamberav]

My husband thinks I spend to much and thinks the skimmer is nasty but he knows it makes me happy and he has his own hobbies.

 

[ca1ore]

Never really thought much about it frankly. My wife was always pretty understanding of my flights of fancy. I’ve always thought of women as the much more sensible of the genders (not damning with faint praise ...) though.

 

[Greg P]

I’ve always thought of women as the much more sensible of the genders

This applies to me and my Wife

 

[MurphyJ]

Love seeing the posts for understanding spouses!

 

[LisaMarie]

I don't think us females have it any "easier"...... I think it comes down to each individual relationship. You either respect each others passions and hobbies or you don't. My hubby zones out when I speak fish geek and I'm no better when he goes on endlessly about motorcycles but I'll go for a ride with him any day and he loves to admire the tanks. As far as money goes, as long as the bills are paid and we are spending within our means, neither of us cares what the other buys. Who wouldn't want to see the person they love most in the world happy?

 

[Strawberry]

My wife enjoys seeing how happy this hobby makes me. I still ask permission for larger purchases and we plan things together, but I never get a flat “no” or feel like I have to be deceptive about costs.

 

[Dub_G]

I can't use the kitchen sink so we bought a utility sink for me to use for all things fish related. She likes to look at the tank, but it is my job to keep it clean and do all tank maintenance. She also likes to help choose new corals.

 

[Viking_Reefing]

first of, my wife is great, hardly ever gives me crap for any of my expensive hobbies.

I have however observed a much higher frequency of whining about costs and time spent from my male friends wife’s than the other way around.
My guess it that women, generally, don’t have the same tendency to really nerd out and go all in on their interests and as such just can’t get why someone would spend tons of money at the lfs or buy a fishing reel for 500$.

 

[Strawberry]

first of, my wife is great, hardly ever gives me crap for any of my expensive hobbies.

I have however observed a much higher frequency of whining about costs and time spent from my male friends wife’s than the other way around.
My guess it that women, generally, don’t have the same tendency to really nerd out and go all in on their interests and as such just can’t get why someone would spend tons of money at the lfs or buy a fishing reel for 500$.

Absolutely incorrect guess, sir, because I blow a TON of money on my tank and my wife blows a TON of money on her tools. lol.

 

[flsalty]

Some guys just don't have their wife trained properly... lol

But seriously, as long as we could pay bills my wife was fine with whatever. Actually, she was a whiz at finding the best deals on anything. I'd tell her what I needed and she would find out the best place to buy it. I also had no problems using the sink as long as it was clean when I was done. The only problems I had was when she would decide to surprise me with something from the lfs. Her heart was in the right place though

 

[MrWheelock]

I'm extremely blessed tbh. My wife enjoys the tank and knows that it is something that makes me happy. I've been gone nearly a year and shes been taking care of it for me. She recently installed the apex unit I got, the new skimmer, the new kessil lights, and the new MP40's. She tests, doses, cleans power heads, and sends me progress pictures of the coral.
I used to empty my skimmer in the toilet and wash it in the bathroom sink, her however said that it was a pain and has been using the big farm sink we have in our kitchen because theres more room.
Shes just as involved as me at this point. She sees something she likes at the fish store and asks me if we can have it

 

[sfin52]

My wife lets me use her blender to make my own food. She lets me use her measuring cups for stuff. She picks out the fish and coral. She does ask will I go well in the tank. Heather is awesome.