Do Female Reefers have it easier?

[motortrendz]

This is pretty much my situation. Carpentry and making beer are my 2nd favorite hobbies

I always wanted to try making beer. But I'm not a big ipa guy. I really like lagers.

 

[MurphyJ]

I’ve never understood the you have to ask for permission before buying that scenario.

me and my wife are both adults, we’re both financially responsible. I pay the mortgage and electric bill, she pays for everything else. As long as those bills are paid and we’re putting the right amount into savings every pay period, why would I care what she buys or vice versa.

she enjoys the tank and wished she had a hobby she could be dedicated to as much as me with the tank, though she thinks I’m obsessed with it


.....I do however get told to clean the skimmer cup in the laundry sink

Same in our household. We split the bills and each has to contribute to the savings. After that you budget your hobby. Hubby does models - cars, planes, military, etc. He also loves to cook and bake. The biggest issue we have is space. We do argue over closet space as both hobbies demand “stuff” and the Texas temp swings do not allow for garage storage. Besides both trucks are parked in the garage and I have my wood working tools . . . Storage is our battle ground.

 

[Sarah24!]

Hello,

You know lol some girls like to buy new shoes and others like driving trucks and sporting tattoos lol. (Yes it’s from a song). We are all very different lol.

Since it’s just me myself and I, the cost and what not simply don’t apply. However, with that said I hate cleaning my 240. I have these tiny arms that don’t reach and I’ll drown if I go deeper lol. So I have had to improvise with scrapers etc. The second being, water changes just kill me. Most of my jugs are five gallons and shy of 50 pounds. But that’s almost half the weight of me lol. Then moving 8-10 of them is a drag, so in that sense it’s harder but I make it work. Lifting the heavy rock dry is bad wet even worse. So the scope is do we have it easier not really. If it’s a healthy relationship then cost etc should not be a problem. If I had a spouse that said how much was that, umm 300 or what’s ever. I’d be more upset if they lied over something just petty. Hiding things is never good, (unless xmas gifts), it’s easier to be upfront.

Speaking only FOR myself, I think the physical section of my tank which is 240, is much harder. Being just under 90 pounds, the lifting is hard well for me. Cleaning because I have little trex arms adds to it. I have super long hair, so when it comes out of my bun or flops over and lands in the water, that just kinda sucks. Technically we can’t die our hair or anything super special do to it falling into the tank. There is always the risk of the salinity stripping the chemical out. Same with nails etc. which for work purposes (technically), for both I am not allowed to. (Currently that’s not an issue lol). A new current problem is (long story), but I have to let the lfs maintain my rank temporary. Being there and trying to explain what I need done is exhausting. For them being twice my size they are not very thrilled. If I could physically do this I would. But to their defense I can’t complain since now for 2 months they have not charged me to come maintain my tank, or charge for any part. So with that said I’m extremely greatful.

 

[robbyg]

I’ve never understood the you have to ask for permission before buying that scenario.

me and my wife are both adults, we’re both financially responsible. I pay the mortgage and electric bill, she pays for everything else. As long as those bills are paid and we’re putting the right amount into savings every pay period, why would I care what she buys or vice versa.

she enjoys the tank and wished she had a hobby she could be dedicated to as much as me with the tank, though she thinks I’m obsessed with it


.....I do however get told to clean the skimmer cup in the laundry sink

I understand it completely. Not everyone has disposable cash. Some people are living on a fairly tight budget and while a loving spouse may be okay with you using up some of that budget on a hobby. That also means you have to watch how much you spend on that hobby. Your reference to a 100 gallon tank upgrade is pretty much a universal decision in almost any relationship, but spending money on fish and coral is one that is dependent on income or savings. If your retired and on a fixed budget every major or unnecessary expense that may impact the budget needs to be discussed.

 

[Terri Caton]

Men are bigger whiners.

 

[MurphyJ]

This is exactly it. Couldn't have said it better my self.

On another note, in general I find that female reefers have a harder time being taken seriously by their male counterparts. Also , walk into LFS with my husband and they always approach him first, and it's frustrating. He promptly points them in my direction and they get the point.

When I started in the hobby 20+ years ago women were treated poorly on the old “mail lists”. That is why I started using the name Murphy. There was one guy that was truly brutal! There were also very supportive men like Ron Shimek and Rob Toonen. Now on the forums I see less of the stigma.

 

[S2G]

What's really alarming is the number of people ok with cleaning their skimmer in the kitchen sink! I hope you're the plates and napkin people at gatherings lol

 

[MurphyJ]

What's really alarming is the number of people ok with cleaning their skimmer in the kitchen sink! I hope you're the plates and napkin people at gatherings lol

We never picked up the habit of eating from the sink. . Dishes go into the dishwasher and veggies are cleaned in a colander. Placing food directly into the sink - with or without skinner cleaning would be gross!

 

[S2G]

We never picked up the habit of eating from the sink. . Dishes go into the dishwasher and veggies are cleaned in a colander. Placing food directly into the sink - with or without skinner cleaning would be gross!

So if you were eating at a restaurant and found out they used the kitchen sink to clean their skimmer from the big restaurant tank that would be ok with you?

My skimmer looks like ive been feeding my fish taco bell all week lol

Men are bigger whiners.

Shots fired!!

 

[Albertan22]

So if you were eating at a restaurant and found out they used the kitchen sink to clean their skimmer from the big restaurant tank that would be ok with you?

My skimmer looks like ive been feeding my fish taco bell all week lol

Shots fired!!

As long as they clean the sink after, why not? People wash dishes full of raw poultry drippings in their kitchen sinks. Bleach/soap cleans that out the same as it does skimmer gunk. Many people don’t have a slop sink, and those of us in more northern climates can’t use outdoor faucets for 8 months out of the year so a kitchen sink is really the only choice.

 

[fish farmer]

What's really alarming is the number of people ok with cleaning their skimmer in the kitchen sink! I hope you're the plates and napkin people at gatherings lol

I don't consider skimmer gunk much different than cleaning raw fish in a kitchen/over the sink. Does anyone here fish? Buy raw seafood? I gut my personally caught fish on the kitchen counter, then rinse in the sink. Granted I wash counters and cutting boards after doing this and try hard not to cross contaminate other food stuffs. How do folks mix raw eggs up? Over the toliet? In the shower? I guess if your skimmer hasn't been cleaned in long time and is huge I really don't see a problem with doing this. Sinks are meant for washing and cleaning things.

 

[LovesDogs_CatsRokay]

So if you were eating at a restaurant and found out they used the kitchen sink to clean their skimmer from the big restaurant tank that would be ok with you?

My skimmer looks like ive been feeding my fish taco bell all week lol

Shots fired!!

Restaurants also have dishwashers and don’t put food directly in the sink to prepare it. So yeah as long as they weren’t doing with food out nearby to be splashed on I wouldn’t care. If you rinse out the sink after dumping it what’s the big deal?

 

[S2G]

Looks like a struck a nerve. Crap goes in the toilet where I'm from but if you don't mind crap in your sink then by all means. Just be respectful and scrub it with the toilet bowl brush when done lol

Im kidding with everyone. Merry xmas skimmers full

 

[Strawberry]

Looks like a struck a nerve. Crap goes in the toilet where I'm from but if you don't mind crap in your sink then by all means. Just be respectful and scrub it with the toilet bowl brush when done lol

Im kidding with everyone. Merry xmas skimmers full

I caught that little National Lampoons Christmas Vacation reference

 

[GregOyeah]

I always wanted to try making beer. But I'm not a big ipa guy. I really like lagers.

Im actually not a fan of IPAs either. You can make just as many awesome tasting lagers, stouts and porters. IPAs are not the beginning and the end of the craft beer hobby, no matter what the hipsters say

 

[Paul B]

Men are bigger whiners.

I agree. A lot of us are and many of the younger ones are real Snowflakes. Not me of course.

 

[Terri Caton]

I agree. A lot of us are and many of the younger ones are real Snowflakes. Not me of course.

I'm not quite sure how the younger generations do this hobby. They are used to everything being FAST now.

 

[Strawberry]

I'm not quite sure how the younger generations do this hobby. They are used to everything being FAST now.

Not all of us are that impatient. I remember flip phones and calling after 9pm for free service. I am 21 years old

 

[AZMSGT]

It depends on your relationship with your partner.. some have understanding other halves, some don’t.. It’s a two way street, takes two to tango...etc...

 

[Sashaka]

I have had my tank longer than my wife, and we are married for 46 years.
She would never say anything about what I say about what I spend on my tank, or boat.

I do the bills and learned what it costs for women hair cuts/styles/ facials etc.
One of those is about the same as 14 copperband butterflies and a couple of purple tangs.

LOL, it's the price of making herself pretty for you! Seriously though, I think women are very different from each other and can't be lumped into one personality by gender. For example, I'm a woman and I cut my own hair, do my own facials with Noxzema, and shop for clothes more often than not at bargain bins. How else could I afford all my tanks! Men AND women are driven by wants, needs, and desires. I desire my tangs and wrasses more than I desire a $200. hair cut. For me, it's as simple as that. lol