How do you guys convince your spouse when upgrading ?

[Tuan’s Reef]

I see all the big tanks and I envy you guys. How do you do it? My wife is already had it with me with just the 20g AIO nano but I want bigger! Spending just 15-30 minutes a day will get me “all you care about is your reef” statements

 

[Dave1993]

Why do you need to convince lol just do it if she says anything show her the door i bet she relies on you more then you her

 

[AlexG]

Well this is an interesting question. I am sure some responses might be limited as some members might feel their significant others are monitoring their posts on this forum ;Watching . I was honest with my wife with everything especially the budget. It does not hurt to play up the relaxation piece of sitting back and watching the beauty of an aquarium. Its a great stress reliever. I fought a hard battle over several months in our new house when we moved as I wanted aquariums on the main floor of the house twin 240 gallon displays with basement sumps but I was not allowed to put holes in the floor as I did in our last house. My wife knew I was not going to give up on wanting aquariums and we compromised. I said I would not allow the aquariums to get in the way of planned home improvements and that they would be finished before the aquariums are running. I kept this promise and while I was building my aquarium system I was always one step ahead on home improvement projects. She allowed me to put tanks in the basement and made a bit of a mistake when she gave me the green light. I asked what can I do in the basement with aquariums and she said "I don't care what you do". She also did not say anything about putting holes in the walls and now I have a very large aquarium system.

 

[tomxreef]

Last time I upgraded I splashed some water on the floor and told her it sprung a leak. Had a new tank that day.

 

[albano]

Why do you need to convince lol just do it if she says anything show her the door i bet she relies on you more then you her

How long have you been divorced?

 

[arturoo1977]

Get her involved with your aquarium and she will be addicted also. If she likes the hobby the problem would be where to put the bigger display tank!

 

[Mical]

I see all the big tanks and I envy you guys. How do you do it? My wife is already had it with me with just the 20g AIO nano but I want bigger! Spending just 15-30 minutes a day will get me “all you care about is your reef” statements

 

[X-37B]

Try to get her involved in the hobby.
Its not unlike any other hobby you or she may have. If she has no hobbies it may be difficult. If she is truely not into the hobby help her find one of her own.
If you only spend 15-30 minutes a day then she is being unreasonble.
Good luck!

 

[jsvand5]

My method was always to just not say anything till the delivery truck was in the driveway. I’ve been divorced for 4 years now.

 

[rainmaker]

Let here pic out her own fish to put in tank
Or do what I have done and say replacing the flooring in the room an going to get bigger tank when set back up

 

[Deschutes541]

How much time do you spend on the hobby including maintenance, research, feeding, etc.? It could be you've gone overboard and the thought you spending even more time on a tank is unpalatable to her.

Do you spend more time on your hobby or with her? Are you financially secure enough to easily afford a new setup?

 

[MichaelReefer]

I see all the big tanks and I envy you guys. How do you do it? My wife is already had it with me with just the 20g AIO nano but I want bigger! Spending just 15-30 minutes a day will get me “all you care about is your reef” statements

My lady won't let me go over three tanks right now. We are renting a place and she doesn't wanna deal with it. Once we move I told her I am definitely upgrading my fresh water to a 125 from a 55 though. She's ok with it. I have my Red Sea Reefer 250 in the living room, a 55 gallon planted fresh water in dining room, and a 16 gallon planted right between the living and dining room.

I do have to stop taming down my spending, putting a ring on it next year.

 

[Clownreef]

Although we are not married, I value my girlfriends' opinion and respect her shared ownership in the common areas we share. I just told her I wanted to get a bigger aquarium, gave her the dimensions and asker her to pick a space that would not be "in the way". She knows what my aquarium does to me psychologically. I have a job with an insane amount of stress and she sees the benefits my reef has on me. Just simply be honest and make her a part of the process.

 

[MichaelReefer]

Let here pic out her own fish to put in tank

I let her name them. She doesn't want anything to do with caring for them, but loves my Salt Water.

 

[halvenator]

It's my hobby and I keep a little money on the side for it. I can do mostly what I want within reason. I will still run bigger purchases by my wife so she isn't surprised when something new shows up.

My wife also agrees that the tank should be the center point of our living space so getting the approval on something that looks better isn't too hard. Size does not matter as long as we have the funds available for the purchase.

 

[Johnd651]

I'm tagging along since I'm running into a similar issue. My wife loves the fish and wants me to set up a fw tank at her work. But at the moment she keeps saying no tanks at home, until the dogs go and the house is done. In our last house we had the 4 dogs and tanks at the same time, and she wasn't against it then. The house now still has years worth of work. And I know the dogs love watching the fish.

 

[Reefqueen_12]

Let her pick out the fish for the new tank, and get her involved with the hobby

 

[bryanfuel]

Maybe you can sell some frags and she can see how profitable it can be if you have larger colonies? Then justify needed the bigger thank for that

 

[The District Reef]

Just go ahead and get what you want! Don't ask for permission. Ask for forgiveness.

 

[Tyguy35]

I agree with get her involved. My wife didn’t want me to get a tank at all. I did the whole “which coral do you like” she would pick and now she has her own set of mushrooms which she oddly named them all. Lol