How do you guys convince your spouse when upgrading ?

[S2G]

I see all the big tanks and I envy you guys. How do you do it? My wife is already had it with me with just the 20g AIO nano but I want bigger! Spending just 15-30 minutes a day will get me “all you care about is your reef” statements

I don't know your situation. A lot of dudes sit around on their butts or play video games then wonder why their wife is always griping lol. I treat my wife like she deserves, make sure all bills are paid, kids are handled, make sure money is in savings, etc. You got to take away all the arguing points.

Mine will try. You don't spend...nope he does, you never...crap he does that to, what about the.... crap that's handled. Then it just switches to that's nice hunny lol.

If your lady is griping about time set your alarm for 5am get up do your maintenance.

 

[Tamberav]

It's easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.

I went ahead and just bought my bigger tank without asking...

 

[secret_reefer337]

My wife knows when I want something, because I will never stop discussing it with her every minute of the day. It is always part of the side stories. Few days ago, I just feel like I need to upgrade from 40B to at least 90gal. So it never stop discussion. Even my teenager is like, “what for, you already have a tank?”, but being me I will try to win.

I’ve just got the seal of approval last night.

Picking up a 125gal tank tomorrow!

 

[vetteguy53081]

Its simple . . . .. . . . . . Don't have a spouse.

 

[sharpimage]

My wife has her hobbies she spends money on and I don't complain. I ask her questions and am supportive. She does the same for me. Within reason.

 

[Hausser]

I honestly have been lucky, my wife pushes me into purchasing a new reefer 650 peninsula. She realizes I could have worst hobbies than a reef tank. She really is not involved in the reef tank.

 

[alton]

Let her pick out the fish for the new tank, and get her involved with the hobby

Been trying that for 35 years, its easier to mention it after a few drinks.

 

[vetteguy53081]

 

[MERKEY]

Ok so this is what you need to do!

1. Set up new tank when she is gone.

2. Set up bed for you in garage/living room/ extraroom/ car/ dog house you get the idea.

3. Enjoy tank and new bed for a week or so.

4. Work your way back into your own bed knowing she is enjoying the new tank now )

Side note she may withhold any extra curricular activities if you know what I'm saying so prepare for that. Lol

Good luck and cant wait to see the build thread!

 

[S2G]

There's a lot of advice coming from people that obviously never had to divide up half their stuff lol.

 

[MERKEY]

There's a lot of advice coming from people that obviously never had to divide up half their stuff lol.

And possibly a lot of joking

But you knew that lol

 

[Quietman]

I paid for pottery classes. . Side benefit we have some very nice pottery pieces now.

 

[LadyMac]

I feel so lucky, but I knew that I married an amazing man to begin with.

See, he knows how I feel about my aquariums. As long as we can afford it, and they don’t get in his way and he doesn’t have to maintain them then he doesn’t say anything. But I’m also very aware of our finances and everything we spend we discuss.

 

[sde1500]

Why do you need to convince lol just do it if she says anything show her the door i bet she relies on you more then you her

So so many things wrong with a single sentence.

Get buy in from the wife. When I first had my tank, and at other times throughout it's life thus far, I get deep into it. And I talk more about it, and I do more with it, and I tell her more about it. And she gently reminds me its getting a bit much. So I back off. We do very well for ourselves. But even small purchases we always let the other know. So 100% I need buy in for a bigger tank. She knows I want one, we've discussed where it is going to go. It is a definite plan for the future, because she knows it is a hobby I love. Encourage her to find a hobby, if she doesn't already, and be involved and supportive and interested in it. IMO the more supportive you are of her and her feelings, the more she will be of yours.

 

[siggy]

Send her on a vacation to her sisters

 

[LadyMac]

So so many things wrong with a single sentence.

Get buy in from the wife. When I first had my tank, and at other times throughout it's life thus far, I get deep into it. And I talk more about it, and I do more with it, and I tell her more about it. And she gently reminds me its getting a bit much. So I back off. We do very well for ourselves. But even small purchases we always let the other know. So 100% I need buy in for a bigger tank. She knows I want one, we've discussed where it is going to go. It is a definite plan for the future, because she knows it is a hobby I love. Encourage her to find a hobby, if she doesn't already, and be involved and supportive and interested in it. IMO the more supportive you are of her and her feelings, the more she will be of yours.

Exactly this. Marriage is about teamwork. You guys wouldn’t have come together and made vowes if you didn’t think you could do a great job at life as a team. Or at least that’s how my husband and I are. Me and him vs the world! Communication is a key aspect and keeping secrets and dishonesty can lead to loss of trust and bitterness.

 

[pdxmonkeyboy]

A locksmith can re-key all your exterior door locks for about $75?

 

[RobupstateNY]

26 years ago I walked into my new girlfriends apt and saw a salt water aquarium.
Been married to my BFF ever since ))))))))))))))

 

[lapin]

No worries. Its a discussion. Both sides might have different ipinions. The decision can go either way. No worries.

 

[Oldreefer44]

Been married for 36 years and way way above my pay grade. The best thing we ever did was completely separate our money. We share bills but what she has left she spends however she wants and the same goes for me. However as any successfully married man will say "winning is losing" so all she hears about is how much I am not spending and how much I am sacrificing by only having one 6 ft. tank.