How do you guys convince your spouse when upgrading ?

[Snowxcross]

I see all the big tanks and I envy you guys. How do you do it? My wife is already had it with me with just the 20g AIO nano but I want bigger! Spending just 15-30 minutes a day will get me “all you care about is your reef” statements

Yikes! find a new wife? - No just kidding!! My wife loves picking out the corals (regardless of price), maybe let your wife gain some interest in the hobby by getting her hands wet a bit? Yes, i get "the first thing you do when you come home is go in the fish room.." But, she's my eye's and ear's while i'm not around too. I actually bought my wife a 20g IM AIO, i manage the parameters, but she totally runs the tank. I gave her guidelines with fish and types of corals, and she loves it... Sorry if none of this would ever apply to you, but give it a go with getting her hands wet. Does she like gardening? Most who like gardening can easily like corals. Does she prefer fresh water aquariums?

 

[Snowxcross]

I agree with get her involved. My wife didn’t want me to get a tank at all. I did the whole “which coral do you like” she would pick and now she has her own set of mushrooms which she oddly named them all. Lol

LOL - mine named all the fish, but the coral? that's a first i heard of that! Love it though

 

[WVNed]

OOH internet marriage advice

Makes the lawyers happy.

 

[ahiggins]

I wish I had this problem I’m the Debbie downer that has to talk the hubby off a ledge lol

 

[DanConnor]

I always encouraged my spouse in her own interests (horses, a big one) and would not be happy with someone who tried to prevent me from enjoying my own. I think when that happens there are underlying issues that need to be resolved. But what do I know, I'm a boomer.

 

[Daniel92481]

Tell her that you work hard, and deserve to do the things you love in your free time. It worked for me, I’m single now.

 

[Reefnman2]

When all else fails I just sit and pout, eventually she'll cave.

 

[Daddy-o]

My wife loves that I have a hobby. When I show her a post about a spouse setting limits, she just doesnt get it. Why marry someone that holds you back??
Cheers! Mark
BTW - I have 8 tanks

 

[User1]

Why do you need to convince lol just do it if she says anything show her the door i bet she relies on you more then you her

Dave....we have moved on past the 1950's....

 

[S2G]

...

 

[User1]

I can't offer a couch to sit because that is not my line of work but since you asked all I can say is that relationships are a give and take. It is never the same with regards to who earns how much, pays for what, holds the door open, who is sick, who is not, and so much more. I've been at the game for dang near 35 years and the only thing I know is that I'm not the same boy she met at 19...

So there is no convince in the sense that I need to sell it. What I do need to do though is have a plan, a loose plan can be OK to start, so that there is a finished project and estimated cost. We treat the fish tank similar to say a kitchen or bathroom remodel because one could easily spend $10,000 - $25,000 on it and outsource the work. Or have it take a couple months if we do it.

The good news is that we both have hobbies. Mine happen to be saltwater aquariums and scuba diving. Hers is wine collecting and traveling. As it turns out her hobby is actually more expensive than mine....go figure.

 

[MRReefs]

Honey you got my tank so excited it grew!

 

[revhtree Verified Admin]

No comment...

 

[Tuan’s Reef]

Well, I’ve been hinting her for a while. Already spent the initial setup costs so everything I have will just be transferred over with only the costs for a new tank.

I think she is warming up to the idea as long as I keep the costs down . Yeah, I bought all this stuff and she didn’t know about the up front costs and dedicated time need to maintain a reef. I’m pretty close to sealing the deal lol.

Thanks for the ideas about getting her involved . I think our main issue is our young children and how much time is needed to maintain them. lol my kids just love the tank and stare it every day

 

[MRReefs]

Sorry I couldn't resist! Actually my upgrade is still sitting in the garage my wife won.

 

[Thuan]

My Husband is also name Tuan. He's actually the one who convince me to upgrade. We have 2 little girls and a 65g sps and a 135g lps/bta. We're planning to upgrade to a 180g with ghost overflow and is quoting with Planet Aquarium.

He's building the cabinet. I do the stocking, cleaning, ...etc AND hubby does the plumbing, electrical, light mounts,... etc. Plus, I put my 2 girls to work feeding the fish. Funny think is, hubby is a software programmer. Happy Wife, Happy Life....

 

[Tuan’s Reef]

My Husband is also name Tuan. He's actually the one who convince me to upgrade. We have 2 little girls and a 65g sps and a 135g lps/bta. We're planning to upgrade to a 180g with ghost overflow and is quoting with Planet Aquarium.

He's building the cabinet. I do the stocking, cleaning, ...etc AND hubby does the plumbing, electrical, light mounts,... etc. Plus, I put my 2 girls to work feeding the fish. Funny think is, hubby is a software programmer. Happy Wife, Happy Life....

My wife is way more important to me than this hobby. So if I can get her involved and happy... who knows maybe we can someday own a 180g too lol

 

[living_tribunal]

The best way to handle it is not to get married in the first place.

 

[Tuan’s Reef]

And .. I’ve been helping around the house a whole lot more !! And she noticed

 

[sharpimage]

It also helps to do the maintenance and assorted jobs when she is unavailable. It will help make her feel like you are spending less time on it. My wife had the same complaints. I just did stuff when she was shopping or working or busy.