How do you guys convince your spouse when upgrading ?

[User1]

Iced Earth is a band I'm a big fan of.

Matt Barlow probably has one of the best tonal sounds of male progressive metal vocalists today. As long as they don't get too aggressive on mixing or layering him.

 

[Oliver d]

I must be one of the few lucky ones ,if I want to upgrade my wife would simply say do it I dont care its your money.

 

[Ridgeway]

Mine last upgrade cost me a dog, a new kitchen and loads of house improvements.....

Good trade off

 

[pdxmonkeyboy]

I suppose I am quite lucky. My wife doesn't really care one bit what I buy for the aquarium. Actual conversation last thursday

"Oh hey, I scored an apex trident this morning..I just kind of got caught up in the excitement that it was in my cart so I bought it; maybe I will just sell it to someone in the club".

"Is that the tester thing?"

"yeah"

"Well, don't sell it, just wait for the new tank at the new house"

 

[Gareth elliott]

followed by a picture of the tank you want.

 

[dadnjesse]

Better to ask for forgiveness than permission. My wife gave up complaining about my spending a long time ago.

 

[User1]

followed by a picture of the tank you want.

Lol - yeah. Or use Zorak

 

[Joshua Kerstetter]

We had freshwater for years, and the wife and I loved them. Kid number one came around and its always been a focal point at the dinner table and living room. Visitors always liked it too as our freshwater tank was a little more elaborate than most. When I lost the whole tank during a heater failure while on vacation I was ready to go salt. 2 years in a a 40 and the kids loved it and wife was on board. I convinced her I wanted to upgrade to something huge, but was willing to wait for a deal, and I honestly explained how much it would cost, about a month later found a great deal, sold the old tank after converting and broke even on it. Now I'm 2 years in, several grand in the red, but I'll work my way out, 2-3 years more and I plan on expansions and growing out frags, I figure I'll break even in 8-10. I've kept meticulous track of how much I've spent and I waited almost 10 years to go salt, I'm the primary money maker and this is *my* hobby, I don't really have any other hobby that takes up the same amount of time or effort so that's how I've justified it, not that I really need to. The kids and wife all like it, its a focal point of the house, we're not moving anywhere, and slowly the kids are learning to help out.

 

[Signalhead]

I had a big tank before her coming into my live. And as the relationship moved foward, and we talked marriage she wanted to keep finances separated. So bingo, do what I want, and keep a big tank. Actually i downsized and she wasn't too happy!

 

[Pete Luna]

You're supposed to ask?

 

[flsalty]

I can't say I've ever had a GF or spouse who tried to dictate what I do in a hobby. It's my hobby. I've had some negotiations over "where" but never "if". I wouldn't tolerate someone who tried to dictate what I do.

 

[H3rm1tCr@b]

Although we are not married, I value my girlfriends' opinion and respect her shared ownership in the common areas we share. I just told her I wanted to get a bigger aquarium, gave her the dimensions and asker her to pick a space that would not be "in the way". She knows what my aquarium does to me psychologically. I have a job with an insane amount of stress and she sees the benefits my reef has on me. Just simply be honest and make her a part of the process.

There we go! You're gonna make a good husband one day! I'm not married, but if I was I would preferably have a hubbie that was as nutty about the hobby as me ;Shamefullyembarrased

 

[reefwiser]

Life is about give and take. I know my wife is more concerned about how the aquarium looks in the house. The biggest aquarium I am allowed in the house is 4 foot long. Anything bigger just takes over the room. I have learned that you must give your spouse input on what is important to them.
Also have them realize that this hobby is an in the home hobby. This is my main hobby and so I am not out all day playing golf or fishing. If you want a tank that is large start a saving account to pay for it. That way the cost is managed and you can set a goal.
Don’t let the tank become an issue always take the other persons needs in account. My new display tank is a large planted nature aquarium. It’s what my wife wants. So all the saltwater goes out in the garage which is fine with me. That way I get to enjoy it all.

 

[Nick Steele]

I must be really lucky! My girlfriend soon to be fiancé isn’t into the aquarium hobby at all (although she lives the look). I’ve had fresh tank all my life and have been planning a 20g reef for a few months everything’s been discussed and we gave ourselves a timeframe of next year March. Low and behold she went and bought my whole setup this past week. We aren’t in our permanent house now so 20g is where I’m setting the limit for a reef tank. Already have a 55G planted tank and a 6G shrimp tank too. But once we settle down into a forever home there are plans for a 75-90G planted tank and a 110-180G reef tank. I think the biggest shock to her was the cost of the lights and I only got an AI 16hd so not expensive but to her it was but it’s what I wanted so it’s what I got.

Biggest factor for her buying the set was I’ve been constantly looking for sales and trying to get it cheaper and she knows the joy it brings me. I work in the hobby and I can still come home and enjoy it more so she really knows I like it!

 

[Signalhead]

I see all the big tanks and I envy you guys. How do you do it? My wife is already had it with me with just the 20g AIO nano but I want bigger! Spending just 15-30 minutes a day will get me “all you care about is your reef” statements

Mine old lady was running her mouth and use the line I care more for the tank....I told her the tank don't talk back. She didn't talk to me for like two weeks. Winner, winner

 

[alton]

I like some of the responses on here. They almost sound like John Wayne " I Told Her"

 

[DSEKULA]

Lol this is an interesting question. For me there's no convincing involved. Hubby and I are together alot, like way more than most healthy relationships. We met through martial arts (train together) and are also buisness partners and even share things like a fb account (he's tj and I'm d btw) So, for us our hobbies are basically our agreed time to ourselves. I reef, he plays music and brews beer. We offer help to each other and he'll stare at my tank as much as I listen to him play music but purchases come out of our respective private accounts or are sometimes gifts to each other. I'm kind enough to consult him if my tank upgrade includes things like ripping out walls but he really never contested anything. For my current build I had to first refinish the basement to put in my sump and then refinish the floor in the room the tank was going. Since I'm handy and did all that work myself with minimal hubby help saving us $$$$ he really can't complain too much when I started the reef purchases.

 

[Rollman]

I got my wife a golden doodle. The end

 

[Awesome Dennis]

I told her we were getting a 120gal 4’ and brought home a 180gal 6’ and I would be getting rid of the other tanks....
I own all the tape measures in the house so i hid them and waited about 6 months before she said something along the lines of “I know it’s not 4’ long and why are the other tanks in your office?”
It’s been about 2 months since I snuck in the deep blue 80gal into my “office” next to my 60 cube and a 55barrel that’s hidden next to my sump lol!

 

[TheOne]

I convinced my wife into letting me buy the tank I wanted by letting her have the diamond ring she wanted. Lesson learned the hard way but on the bright side I pretty much have an unlimited budget now.....