How do you guys convince your spouse when upgrading ?

[Dj City]

I see all the big tanks and I envy you guys. How do you do it? My wife is already had it with me with just the 20g AIO nano but I want bigger! Spending just 15-30 minutes a day will get me “all you care about is your reef” statements

Just DO IT.
Get the biggest tank you want!
If she gives you any lip, just put her out until she learns who's boss.

Legal disclaimer...
Certain restrictions may apply
Not applicable in all households.
Dj City is NOT RESPONSIBLE for any arguments, broken jaws, broken bones, broken glass, thrown plates, slaps or cursing out due to husband taking what sounds like Bad Advice
This message represents the official view of the voice in my head.

 

[Isabel’s Hobby]

Well I m the wife and my husband isn’t really involved with my 225 SW but he loves to brag on how gorgeous it looks. And I spend a lot of money and time on it I mean a lot. I let him pick out a few corals and even a fish . He loves elegance coral etc so I get a few pieces for him ( or like they’re his ) and make him feel that he has a say in it but in all honesty ... it’s just how you present it. In fact I was just talking about a nano set up since my cardinals keep on making babies and I do raise a few corals here and there ... he was a little price shocked but then he was ready to do it when I told him we could make money here and there and the babies would not be eaten anymore. He was cool with that logic.
Involve your wife .... take her to the store where they have a real nice big set up show her make her fall in love with the beauty of a tank and how relaxing it can be. Open a bottle of wine or what ever and sit in front of it that could be pretty romantic. Also if you have a reasonable explanation why you need a bigger tank ... talk about it. I think bigger tanks are less work anyway not in the beginning but I think in the long run. Just my opinion the other thing what always works for me ... get her something the same value of the tank you’re looking at ..... 50/50 is always great in a relationship. I’ve been married for almost 19 years. Good luck

 

[xabo]

Get her involved with your aquarium and she will be addicted also. If she likes the hobby the problem would be where to put the bigger display tank!

This is what I did. Bought her a small aquarium and set it up as a reef.
Now she buys for my tank.

 

[Whispers]

I bought her a Chanel bag

 

[Terri Caton]

Don’t have one - don’t need to.
It’s a beautiful thing

 

[kapnkush608]

Throw down some BDE and let her know who's daddy. Then treat yo self. Lol

 

[cancun]

I feel so lucky, but I knew that I married an amazing man to begin with.

See, he knows how I feel about my aquariums. As long as we can afford it, and they don’t get in his way and he doesn’t have to maintain them then he doesn’t say anything. But I’m also very aware of our finances and everything we spend we discuss.

That's my exact situation with my husband. The tank is my hobby.....but I love it and he supports it....but we never make a large purchase without discussing and agreeing on it. I am lucky he enjoys looking at the tank though! LOL!

 

[Albertan22]

My wife actually suggested we upgrade to a 6 foot tank recently (from 4) so we could get more and different tangs. She also suggested we buy an airplane a few years back... Who am I to argue?

 

[Caliguy1983]

I’ve been married 13 years and always asked for forgiveness not permission. My wife has her own hobbies. The problem is she knows what my reef addiction costs and every time I upgrade she wants the same amount spent on her hobby. Drugs would have been cheaper

 

[Admann]

I see all the big tanks and I envy you guys. How do you do it? My wife is already had it with me with just the 20g AIO nano but I want bigger! Spending just 15-30 minutes a day will get me “all you care about is your reef” statements

Just hang in there. They come around in 10-15 years IME

 

[Bob Weigant]

With my tanks being in the garage I just do it then say “ Look what I got today.” If they were in the house it would be a different story

 

[Gribbliest]

She doesn’t need convincing. ‘You work hard and can afford it, why shouldn’t you’ is what she says.

oh, and I let her buy all the houseplants she wants.... she spends more time looking after those than I do my tank!

 

[Saltyreef]

Usually Chanel, Hermes, Tory Burch or Valentino help me out with breaking the ice on a new purchase
My stuff Doesn't get noticed until a few weeks later when its already placed and cycled!

 

[arturoo1977]

Today my wife invited some of her friends to have dinner and they were asking about my new tank in the living so I heard how she was explaining that is still cycling and growing bacterias to be able to receive fish...
You may not notice, but they hear all you say about your hobbie and thats another way to involve your family.
Very satisfied today with her comment

 

[Smarkow]

I told my now wife before we got married “sweetie, if I ever have to choose between you and the tank, I’ll choose you... but don’t make me choose...”

She loves the tank when it’s clean. If I can get her to the fish store she’s just as bad as me. On the other hand I love online coral shopping and she can’t stand it, except for the WWC auction where she sees it as a contest to buy the deals really quick.

One thing we’ve talked about is how when we have kids she wants me to use the tank to teach them science and building, and how to take care of things.

So sort of putting reef tanks into the greater life context has been the solution that works.

 

[Sarah24!]

Hello,

Since I have been single for all my life I don’t know. Sometimes I argue with myself but I usually always win. But a shot in the dark maybe get her some thing nice dinner date, things she like and try and just be honest and say how much you want one. Show her the pros cons, of it. You could also errrrr ahhh hijack all
Her shoes and outfits and hold them hostage, but I think you may have better results with option A over B.

 

[King Turkey]

Hum my wife does not care what I do. She will make fun and glare when I get big ticket stuff. I send her shopping In return.

 

[Nannook]

I see all the big tanks and I envy you guys. How do you do it? My wife is already had it with me with just the 20g AIO nano but I want bigger! Spending just 15-30 minutes a day will get me “all you care about is your reef” statements

Same as always; old joke: why do women get lines at the corner of their eyes? A: by saying “you want me to do what?!?” To their husbands.
why do men get lines at the corner of their eyes? By saying “pleeeeaaaassssse.” To their wives.
And if that doesn’t work moping can help. Pouting. Being “a VERY good boy and helping Mama for a long long time!”

 

[Eric Miller]

I see all the big tanks and I envy you guys. How do you do it? My wife is already had it with me with just the 20g AIO nano but I want bigger! Spending just 15-30 minutes a day will get me “all you care about is your reef” statements

but baby u said you would eat whale blubber with me lol

 

[charlesk]

Just go ahead and get what you want! Don't ask for permission. Ask for forgiveness.

Chocolates and flowers